myTHICally accurate

free

I don't think social media has to be bad but yeah, It only rewards engagement regardless of content or context. So say the things that get the most people mad and get paid for it.

I am privileged and I am sorry for whining over a position some may see as better off than them. But I am also my own person with my own goals and expectations. idk

I also just don't think its acceptable to expect to hate your job while using it to fund your hobbies. I think everyone is entitled to doing the things the enjoy most for the majority of their waking time. I know that's not reality but it should be humanities goal.

But I can't stand it. I hate and have hated almost everything about it since I began 2 years ago. Going to WFH only brought the hate home. I also don't really make enough pay wise. Its easy for a company to offer WFH as the bonus rather than more pay and people seem to be okay with that.

I am now stuck in another job in a training class filled with tons of people that seem very "dumb" to me. But I am here too. Introspection helps a lot, but it's so easy to get lost in thought. I just really need to turn my thoughts into something real, something I can prove.

I saw the one who spoke out as dumb but in reality they were genuine and that's a smart thing to be. They were frustrated by not being able to do anything and I was just stuck thinking how much better I was when I also had nothing to show, I just doubled down on my own excuse.

But now I haven't done anything. I don't think my introspection is really bad but I never felt the need to perform. In my head I was always ready or willing to achieve what I could dream up. I never saw the importance in just acting, just doing.

That memory stuck with me. Looking back I hate how much it affected me. I hated I was seen as the same as those who actually did nothing. I felt strongly that I had the ability to think deeply about what I would do when I was given assignments. I was always very introspective even as an early teen.

I still think about this because I felt punished for just having a different process for work at the time and it really got to me. English was my best class for every other year of high school but that teacher really clashed with me. I didn't end up getting in trouble but I still felt awful.

I was really thinking about the assignment I was planning everything in my head, However, one student practically started yelling about how they didn't understand the prompt and thought it was stupid and just didn't know what to do. I will never forget how mad I was to be lumped in with them.

I didn't write a single word and the teacher got very at my lack of work. Two others didn't do anything as well and we were all sent to the office. The principal spoke to all of us at the same time and sort of let us explain ourselves. I really wanted to stress that I was not just slacking off.

This job will get harder I am going to quit the moment I meet any resistance. I cannot do this. I cannot work another day of customer service. I am glad there are people who love it but I can't do it anymore. I'm aware the future might be harder I just NEED it to be DIFFERENT.