You give me hope. I look at you and think my NB ass can do hard things too. And I keep trying.

I still go back and look at the message you sent me on the Other Blue Site and grin. And then I take another step forward.

I’m just restarting meds now. Took forever to even get them the first time around. And that wasn’t even two years ago. One day I might actually be able to function with a (mostly) clear mind lol

Oh that calm is definitely there - the background noise is a lot more muted when Im on them. I don’t realize that they’re wearing off though until its just suddenly ‘oh that’s why im spiraling oop’. It’s on my list to ask about at the next appt. Thank you for chiming in!! Makes me feel not so alone!

Fuck self harm. Fuck depression. Fuck having the one of the worst days of your life when you need just one bright moment of happy.

I’m still here, bitches. You don’t get to win that easily.

And I’ll get my celebratory meal tmrw instead.

Thank you. It’s been a heavy time but I’m holding onto the memories of her teaching me each stitch and I feel her warmth whenever I pick up the new project. Making a new pattern in her memory now too