standupjoe
@standupjoe.bsky.social
San Francisco-based stand-up comic, lover, and reluctant messiah. My website is stagejoe.com
Marjorie Taylor Greene appears to be out, and Zohran Mamdani is in. MAGA is gonna lose their little minds…and their healthcare, social security, and SNAP benefits, but who cares? This is good press for Dear Leader.
November 22, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Marjorie Taylor Greene appears to be out, and Zohran Mamdani is in. MAGA is gonna lose their little minds…and their healthcare, social security, and SNAP benefits, but who cares? This is good press for Dear Leader.
A three judge pannel struck down Texas redistricting, the house voted to release the Epstein files and Bitcoin erased its gains for the year or, consequences have reentered this reality.
November 18, 2025 at 8:42 PM
A three judge pannel struck down Texas redistricting, the house voted to release the Epstein files and Bitcoin erased its gains for the year or, consequences have reentered this reality.
From now on, any text I receive from the Democrats asking for money to fight Trump will be answered with a promise to donate in the future.
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 PM
From now on, any text I receive from the Democrats asking for money to fight Trump will be answered with a promise to donate in the future.
Mamdani was elected mayor of New York City.
Democratic Mikie Sherrill was elected Governor of New Jersey.
Democrat Abigail Spanberger was elected Governor of Virginia.
Two states elected their first female governors, and the city of New York elected a Muslim Socialist.
I finally see some hope.
Democratic Mikie Sherrill was elected Governor of New Jersey.
Democrat Abigail Spanberger was elected Governor of Virginia.
Two states elected their first female governors, and the city of New York elected a Muslim Socialist.
I finally see some hope.
November 5, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Mamdani was elected mayor of New York City.
Democratic Mikie Sherrill was elected Governor of New Jersey.
Democrat Abigail Spanberger was elected Governor of Virginia.
Two states elected their first female governors, and the city of New York elected a Muslim Socialist.
I finally see some hope.
Democratic Mikie Sherrill was elected Governor of New Jersey.
Democrat Abigail Spanberger was elected Governor of Virginia.
Two states elected their first female governors, and the city of New York elected a Muslim Socialist.
I finally see some hope.
Trump is naming his new $300 million ballroom, Prince Andrew.
November 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Trump is naming his new $300 million ballroom, Prince Andrew.
The United States of America started as a protest against a king. Protesting is as American as paying undocumented workers under the table, insider trading among politicians of every party and covering up a president’s failing health.
October 18, 2025 at 4:38 PM
The United States of America started as a protest against a king. Protesting is as American as paying undocumented workers under the table, insider trading among politicians of every party and covering up a president’s failing health.
Maybe Salesforce owner Marc Benioff is right. Bring the National Guard into San Francisco. They can round up all the techbro's wearing convention lanyards and keep them contained at the convention center so the lines at burrito shops in the Mission don't get long.
October 17, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Maybe Salesforce owner Marc Benioff is right. Bring the National Guard into San Francisco. They can round up all the techbro's wearing convention lanyards and keep them contained at the convention center so the lines at burrito shops in the Mission don't get long.
San Francisco is warning people to be careful this Halloween season. Apparently, they have found candy in some of the drugs people are handing out.
October 15, 2025 at 7:59 PM
San Francisco is warning people to be careful this Halloween season. Apparently, they have found candy in some of the drugs people are handing out.
ANTIFA is a term. Not an organization. The government can arrest people, but like all the fascists in history, they will find out you cannot arrest an idea.
October 15, 2025 at 2:39 PM
ANTIFA is a term. Not an organization. The government can arrest people, but like all the fascists in history, they will find out you cannot arrest an idea.
The Vatican is against surrogacy calling it a "grave violation of the dignity of the woman and the child.” Isn’t that how Jesus was born?
October 10, 2025 at 8:16 PM
The Vatican is against surrogacy calling it a "grave violation of the dignity of the woman and the child.” Isn’t that how Jesus was born?
I have bad news for Pete Hegseth. If you don’t pay troops they might start growing beards to save money on razors.
October 10, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I have bad news for Pete Hegseth. If you don’t pay troops they might start growing beards to save money on razors.
The right-wing is praising Trump for telling the FBI to release all files they have about Amelia Earhart. I hope it turns out that she crash landed on Epstein’s island.
October 8, 2025 at 3:42 PM
The right-wing is praising Trump for telling the FBI to release all files they have about Amelia Earhart. I hope it turns out that she crash landed on Epstein’s island.
What if Bad Bunny performs at the Super Bowl halftime show dressed as the old man in the Cracker Barrel logo? Will that stop the MAGA tears?
October 6, 2025 at 5:36 PM
What if Bad Bunny performs at the Super Bowl halftime show dressed as the old man in the Cracker Barrel logo? Will that stop the MAGA tears?
Apparently, Trump and Hegseth were a little disappointed by the quiet reception the generals gave them today, but it was still better than the crowd reaction to Theo Von’s Netflix special taping.
September 30, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Apparently, Trump and Hegseth were a little disappointed by the quiet reception the generals gave them today, but it was still better than the crowd reaction to Theo Von’s Netflix special taping.
Another shooting. Another tragedy. Let's not rush to judgment about the shooter's motives yet. The FBI hasn't even found shell casings with messages on them yet.
September 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Another shooting. Another tragedy. Let's not rush to judgment about the shooter's motives yet. The FBI hasn't even found shell casings with messages on them yet.
Trump Demands Congress Subpoena UN Escalator and Teleprompter for Hearings. The Escalator and Teleprompter Have “No Comment.”
September 25, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Trump Demands Congress Subpoena UN Escalator and Teleprompter for Hearings. The Escalator and Teleprompter Have “No Comment.”
The Epstein Files cause Autism. That's why they can't be released, America.
September 23, 2025 at 2:23 AM
The Epstein Files cause Autism. That's why they can't be released, America.
If you make any comments about Charlie Kirk, censorship, guns and the right-wings fervent belief that they are not responsible for any politically motivated violence in this country, expect to get a lot of comments that start with "Bro..."
September 22, 2025 at 4:49 PM
If you make any comments about Charlie Kirk, censorship, guns and the right-wings fervent belief that they are not responsible for any politically motivated violence in this country, expect to get a lot of comments that start with "Bro..."
Disney won five Emmys for Andor, a show about resisting fascism, and then suspended Jimmy Kimmel for resisting fascism.
September 19, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Disney won five Emmys for Andor, a show about resisting fascism, and then suspended Jimmy Kimmel for resisting fascism.
Just a reminder, America. If MAGA had already succeeded in removing every single "illegal" from the country because they're dangerous, Charlie Kirk would still have been shot.
September 13, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Just a reminder, America. If MAGA had already succeeded in removing every single "illegal" from the country because they're dangerous, Charlie Kirk would still have been shot.
Trump is planning to rename the Department of Defense, The Depart of War. However, changing signs, plaques, stationary and emblems would cost a few hundred million dollars. I am suggesting we use the already made new, but quickly discarded, Cracker Barrel logo.
September 5, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Trump is planning to rename the Department of Defense, The Depart of War. However, changing signs, plaques, stationary and emblems would cost a few hundred million dollars. I am suggesting we use the already made new, but quickly discarded, Cracker Barrel logo.
The same people who will tell you we must ban books to keep children safe will also tell you there is nothing we can do about guns.
August 31, 2025 at 6:26 PM
The same people who will tell you we must ban books to keep children safe will also tell you there is nothing we can do about guns.
RFK Jr. blames the latest shooting on medications. Conservatives claim it was a result of the shooter being transgender. I think it's the guns, idiots.
August 28, 2025 at 11:01 PM
RFK Jr. blames the latest shooting on medications. Conservatives claim it was a result of the shooter being transgender. I think it's the guns, idiots.
My girlfriend showed me her collection of individual socks who lost their partners. It made me sad. I’m going to start a dating app for solo socks.
August 25, 2025 at 12:20 AM
My girlfriend showed me her collection of individual socks who lost their partners. It made me sad. I’m going to start a dating app for solo socks.
Last week I saw The Spin Doctors, Gin Bloosoms and Blues Traveler at The Mountain Winery. The merch table could have made a fortune selling IcyHot.
August 24, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Last week I saw The Spin Doctors, Gin Bloosoms and Blues Traveler at The Mountain Winery. The merch table could have made a fortune selling IcyHot.