Right!? Always an “uh oh need to check myself” moment.

Literally making a federal case out of it.

My then four-year-old once suggested that I should be the one to go grocery shopping while she stayed home with daddy, then added “It’s because I like Daddy just a little bit more than you.” I cried.

The Godiva one is their best one.

There are a lot of Nice Things we don’t get to have as Americans, but that we didn’t get a Liz Warren presidency is high on my list of laments.

Green Apple and Cherry are the best. Grape is the worst.

This right here. Is there even an argument that ANY of it ISN’T true? Does this Respected-Democratic-Senator have eyes? God I’m ready to throw money at primary challengers.

Back in 2008-ish a younger coworker was relating to me that her mom had abruptly up and left her dad and was behaving bizarrely.
Her: “She read this BOOK, and then—”
Me, interrupting: “Was it Eat Pray Love?”
Her, wide-eyed: “YES how did you know that?!”
Liz Gilbert would make a great cult leader.

But it’s really hard to get mayonnaise out of Kevlar.

Eh, I can’t be too hard on him for this. He’s waving a lollipop at a toddler. He’s not an idiot; he knows it’s probably not going to work, but the stakes are too high not to use whatever tools you’ve got. It’s infuriating that this is where we are, but 🤷‍♀️

A lot of them *are* black.

I’m read he did but now that I go back and look seems like it’s not confirmed. 🤷‍♀️

*failing to dodge

*find. 🙄 will trade all 14 open sunscreen bottles for an edit button

Pro tip: keep 14 bottles that have each been used once scattered throughout your house, garage, car, and in various bags. You’ll still never be able to fine one when you need it. But every time you run across one you’ll get to think “now I know where this is. Next time…”

Genre-blending is the highest form of literature, she says in paranormal-historical.

I mean TBF I’m way more comfortable with him focusing on things with this level of importance. Godspeed.