Squirtmydad.com
@squirtmydad.bsky.social
Army of Darkness is my dad
using a portal to scratch my own ass from across the room
February 17, 2026 at 5:48 AM
using a portal to scratch my own ass from across the room
this dude took an onion on a camping trip
February 17, 2026 at 3:39 AM
this dude took an onion on a camping trip
Vick is not alone, Coop
February 17, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Vick is not alone, Coop
quantum penile entanglement
February 13, 2026 at 6:59 PM
quantum penile entanglement
I did it all for the nook inc
February 11, 2026 at 12:39 AM
I did it all for the nook inc
if u zoom in u will see ants
February 10, 2026 at 3:59 AM
if u zoom in u will see ants
opening and closing the toilet seat really fast for maximum waft
February 10, 2026 at 3:58 AM
opening and closing the toilet seat really fast for maximum waft
sorry I can't come into work, my mom bent me in half
February 9, 2026 at 2:01 AM
sorry I can't come into work, my mom bent me in half
what channel has the big game on it
February 9, 2026 at 1:35 AM
what channel has the big game on it
so sick of all this misgendering, when is it going to be mistergendering?
February 6, 2026 at 4:33 PM
so sick of all this misgendering, when is it going to be mistergendering?
y'all don't know it yet but I have the rudest cowabunga in town
February 2, 2026 at 2:49 AM
y'all don't know it yet but I have the rudest cowabunga in town
me timbers= shivered
February 2, 2026 at 2:46 AM
me timbers= shivered
in this house we applaud when the blood rain comes
February 1, 2026 at 1:59 AM
in this house we applaud when the blood rain comes
The hokey pokey NEEDS to be re-written
February 1, 2026 at 1:55 AM
The hokey pokey NEEDS to be re-written
venom but the suit is on a different eddie
January 23, 2026 at 1:14 PM
venom but the suit is on a different eddie
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the eggs and I'm thinkin
I'm six feet from the eggs and I'm thinkin
January 22, 2026 at 5:38 AM
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the eggs and I'm thinkin
I'm six feet from the eggs and I'm thinkin
Hey, to Cheech their own
January 22, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Hey, to Cheech their own
"If drunk was I, do this could I?"
-Yoda, doing a backflip after being pulled over by Cloud City Security shortly before his first of many stays in rehab
-Yoda, doing a backflip after being pulled over by Cloud City Security shortly before his first of many stays in rehab
January 20, 2026 at 3:09 AM
"If drunk was I, do this could I?"
-Yoda, doing a backflip after being pulled over by Cloud City Security shortly before his first of many stays in rehab
-Yoda, doing a backflip after being pulled over by Cloud City Security shortly before his first of many stays in rehab
michael chiklis sex gifs
January 20, 2026 at 3:05 AM
michael chiklis sex gifs
just got stabbed in the juggler
January 20, 2026 at 2:43 AM
just got stabbed in the juggler
recently had a man shove a rag in my face and ask "does this smell like chloroform?"
it did not
it did not
January 20, 2026 at 2:25 AM
recently had a man shove a rag in my face and ask "does this smell like chloroform?"
it did not
it did not
"ladies and gentlemen, the word is "plump""
January 20, 2026 at 2:23 AM
"ladies and gentlemen, the word is "plump""
im looking for something that rhymes with pee that means poo
January 20, 2026 at 2:19 AM
im looking for something that rhymes with pee that means poo
i think turds should only be allowed to sit quietly from now on
January 20, 2026 at 2:02 AM
i think turds should only be allowed to sit quietly from now on