You are right. There is a general misconception that England is all that matters as it is more important than the other constituent parts. This is only true when it comes to Wales and Northern Ireland as they are Englands property. Scotland is an equal partner with England on paper and legally

It is on record in Hansard that if Scottish MPs withdraw from Westminster the union is over.
We will all have to put on our big boy and girl pants.

WM cannot refuse. In 1707 neither Scotland or England ceased to exist when Great Britain was created. Each kingdom retained their rights, laws and constitutions with Scotland’s being enshrined as a precondition of the Treaty of Union

To end its union with England Scotland needs to send a majority of its MPs to Westminster who stood on the platform of ending the union.
The referendum through Holyrood is a red herring as Holyrood is an agency of Westminster and has no power