i am so terrified of the pills giving me nightmares. and also i have this irrational need to not go to sleep before midnight. idk why. it's just a thing with me

it's been an embarrassingly long time. depression sucks

also the autism doesn't help probably

i think i am literally just so desperate for the stupid happy chemicals any level of disappointment just feels like a gut punch

strangers AND new plans? i want to rip my skin off