bonus challenge: be inspired when you actually have the time to do art

it feels like one of the WORST reasons to learn about something but it just. activates the chemicals in my brain
and I mean. at least I care about something that I didn't think much about before

also this account might not get used for a week or two at a time, I'm part of a system and this is just my own personal corner of social media to yell into when in front pff
I don't exactly care if pro-endos interact but this is your heads up now since we don't believe in endogenic did/osdd

I'm sure a ton of singlets can relate to some of that too but point being it's just weird how sometimes an alter's source memories can just go haywire and you're sitting there unable to explain how actually bad something bothers you because the canon source just. wasn't as bad as your "memories"

so I think it just makes your brain generate stories and narratives that kids normally either don't know enough details of to flesh out, or straight up don't know about at all. then one day you look back and you're realizing how actually terrifying/weird those stories were for a kid

there's this sort of reverse desensitization where you only feel how actually awful something is as you get older, but before that? your brain acknowledges it as "bad" but no more "forbidden" than a story about murder or stealing. there's just some kinda point you miss no matter how it's explained

real. it's also annoying when, for example, you're bored waiting for food so rearrange something on a table just because you can and someone points out your "ocd"
like no I can guarantee you I would not be feeling like I'm in mortal danger because I decided to sort the sweetener packets for fun..

especially if that support was only/mostly in regards to learning school subjects, but things like caring for yourself, routine, handling emotions, social situations, and any overall mental health issues weren't addressed like they should've been

provisional dx but here
it's a double pet peeve when people say "a bit OCD about [organized items]" because not only does it belittle actual OCD, but sorta reinforces the idea that OCD is simply about "oh I need things sorted/symmetrical!" when it can affect so much more than that