You’re happy with that, are you? You don’t want the money that we’ve lost? You don’t want the freedom of movement? You don’t want to admit that you’re a plank?

I like a drink as much as the next man but not THAT drink. Give me a nice, warm, flat bitter any day of the week.

That’s one of the most stupid things I’ve seen in this conversation. Your wife has NEVER seen an ‘appendage’ in a public toilet unless she’s been in the gent’s. You look REALLY silly now.

I like Bluesky because it’s nice. I used to follow you on twitter but now I get to see your lovely work without all the hatred. I also follow you on Facebook.

I was seriously worried there!

You want to go to Luton?

I’ve only just got up but I’m sure it’s going to be another good one. I’m one of those infuriating people who really like their job.

Luton 0 - 0 Arsenal. 1986.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, needs this book in their life.