they call him terry ten-fingers. kind of a boring guy.

if jeff goldblum and willem dafoe were in a movie together, i feel like the word "slimey" would be in the title.

when i was a kid i told everyone that ziggy from the sunday comics was my dad. because i wanted it to be true. i wanted ziggy to fuck my mom.

some hippie walked up and put a flower in my gun. the other cops are laughing at me and calling me officer lily-butt. i shot the hippie though. she cried. i hate politics.

my wife asked me about tariffs, i told her to whip out those tariffic tits of hers.