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soupbtch.bsky.social
danny ⚔️
@soupbtch.bsky.social
270 followers 120 following 330 posts
🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈🔞 • they/he • https://archiveofourown.org/users/soupbtch
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soupbtch.bsky.social
screenshot from the lizzie mcguire movie with the subtitles edited to read ‘jess unpopularculture, you are an joke repeater!’
June 27, 2025 at 11:09 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
actually this pretty much sums it up
screenshot of a tumblr text post reading ‘uh…I’m gonna let other people take the lead on this, but that does seem to me, a white person, to’ the rest of the text has been blacked out and replaced with text reading ‘[continues to talk]’
June 25, 2025 at 5:31 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
can’t believe I have to leave london tomorrow but I have had the time of my life seeing rhys and spending time with my beautiful girlfriend and beloved fandom friends (not pictured. enjoy these doxx-free pics instead ❤️)
an empty stage with blue lighting and a rhys darby ‘RD’ logo on the back wall/curtain the london eye and some south bank buildings south bank, london, showing the river thames, some boats, several cranes, st. paul’s cathedral, and lots funnily-shaped skyscrapers because of the law or whatever that requires the view of st. paul’s remain unobstructed by other buildings exterior shot of palm house in kew gardens, london
June 16, 2025 at 3:52 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
I just think that ed and stede
screenshot of the scene from ‘wolf of wall street’ where margot robbie has the bottom of her shoe pressed to leo dicaprio’s forehead
March 16, 2025 at 7:03 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
NICE 😌 #ofmdcraftfair
screenshot of the ofmd craft fair donation page showing total raised funds of $69,420
March 1, 2025 at 8:25 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
protected kevin hart meme edited to show my icon defending a small knitted merstede from user unpopularculture
February 28, 2025 at 7:07 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
jess you’re not gonna believe this
an incredible sticker featuring an artistically designed bowl of soup and a fantastic font choice declaring 'soup bitch'
February 28, 2025 at 1:37 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
sexvalues.github.io
ed teach from ofmd hiding his face so he doesn’t get perceived by strangers results from the linked quiz. attraction: neutral (42.9% masculine, 57.1% feminine) sex drive: hypersexual (100% hyper, 0% hypo) dominance axis: switch (41.7% dominant, 58.3% submissive) deviance axis: kinky (65.6% deviant, 34.4% pure) affection axis: neutral (43.8% affection, 56.2% hedonism)
February 21, 2025 at 3:56 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
for the severance gang
screenshot of a discord message referencing the previous post that reads ‘mark s in that episode’
February 8, 2025 at 5:28 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
may I offer you some very loving light feminization in these trying times

#ofmdfic

archiveofourown.org/works/62791015
screenshot of a work titled ‘pretty’ by soupbtch on ao3. rated explicit, m/m, complete. no archive warnings apply. relationships: blackbeard | edward teach/stede bonnet characters: blackbeard | edward teach, stede bonnet, lucius spriggs additional tags: alternate universe - modern setting, hide and seek, semi-public sex, hand jobs, anal fingering, light feminization, blackbeard | edward teach wears a dress, ed teach experiences gender, blackbeard | edward teach has a praise kink, stede bonnet has a praise kink, blackbeard | edward teach loves stede bonnet, stede bonnet loves blackbeard | edward teach, plot what plot/porn without plot, explicit sexual content, author is open to hearing about dead batteries summary: “there we go, he says, nudging ed’s legs further apart. “good girl, ed.”
February 5, 2025 at 1:01 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
for the record, episode 694 of mbmbam was the (very loose) inspiration lmao
transcript of episode 694: pre-show pzizz of the podcast ‘my brother, my brother and me’. text reads: Travis: I learned yesterday from the captain that we took on all the supplies we're going to take on at the beginning. Griffin: No stopsies. Travis: No, this is apparently a nine-month continuous cruise, which I didn't realize. Griffin: Yeah. Travis: We're gonna go to the different continents or whatever and wave at them from a safe distance. Justin: Okay. Griffin: Cool. Travis: But so, we start—we didn't know this at first, we had a pretty big party the first night. And apparently used up 50% of like the rations. Justin: Of the supplies. Travis: Yeah. Griffin: Yeah. Justin: I mean, Huntington is resource-limited too, I can't get bok choy here. Griffin: Sure. Travis: That's fair. We have limited drinking water at this point, so that— Griffin: What if— Travis: A couple of us have set up stills of various flavors and types. Have you guys seen Waterworld? You know when he's like refining his own piss? continued: Griffin: Yeah, cool. Travis: That's kind of where we're at. And it's— Justin: Is that the state you're in right now? Travis: Yeah, and it's like week three. Justin: What's your physical condition right now, Travis? Travis: I would say— Griffin: Scruvelicious? [chuckles] Travis: Yeah. Justin: [chuckles] Travis: Yeah… Now, having the Merpeople here helps, frankly. It was starting to get a little bit monotonous here on week three already, then they came around. They're a little violent… but so fuckin' sexy, guys. I can't get over it! Griffin: So hot! Ah, yeah! Hey, Trav— Travis: We kind of let it go, you know what I mean? They've thrown a couple of people overboard to the sharks. Griffin: That's… they—sharks gotta eat. Travis: Sharks gotta eat! That's what they say. That's what they say every time they do it. Griffin: I have to ask a question that's been sort of burning in my mind. This is such a specific length of time for the crews to go. What if someone gets pregnant on day one and has a baby by the end of it? continued: Travis: Yeah. Griffin: Where—whose baby is—like where does the baby live? What's the baby's— Travis: Can I tell you what's weird? Griffin: Does the baby get a passport on the boat? Do the Merfolk do that? Travis: Two thirds of the passengers are pregnant. Griffin: Holy shit! Travis: Yeah, this—and— Justin: Wow! Travis: And they weren't when they started. Griffin: Yeah. Travis: They were day three. Griffin: Okay? Travis: And now they're keeping them in this like gelatinous pool, in like that cold. And here's what's weird! They're predicting future murders. Justin: That's—yeah! Griffin: Holy—cool! Travis: Yeah. Justin: Okay, I heard that you could see their dreams projected on the TVs throughout your stateroom. So that's actually huge. Griffin: But what do they dream about? continued: Travis: Mostly the sexy as fuck Merpeople, is what's weird! Griffin: I bet. [chuckles] Justin: [chuckles] Who can blame them? Travis: And they predict the Merpeople throwing people overboard, which isn't, frankly, a big prediction. It happens every hour on the hour. So— Justin: Trav, I heard the only food left is ham. And all the buffet offerings are ham cut into different shapes and dyed different colors and seasoned differently. Is that— Travis: Yeah, there's a ham whittler. A professional ham whittler. He stands in front. You know those boards with a big light on top? And he starts listing off—he's gotten pretty good at this point. He wasn't a ham whittler to begin with, but at this point— Griffin: Oh, by nine months, he's going to be the Michelangelo of ham. Travis: Yeah, he's already started like trying to do people's faces. He's done some death masks of the people we've lost to the sharks, which have been lovely. We keep those as a constantly rotting remembrance of those we've lost. Griffin: Sure. Travis: We've lost about 50% of the passengers at this point. Griffin: Yeah, so nine months in, this ship's gonna dock— Travis: Well, all the babies will come— Griffin: Full to the brim with nothing but rotted ham death masks, as— Travis: And babies!
January 22, 2025 at 2:46 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
just realized I missed the one year anniversary of me coming up with the idea for rsan, but as today is #taketwotuesday well. might I suggest some slow burn modern/cruise ship au? #ofmdfic

63.6k words / rated explicit / complete

archiveofourown.org/works/559933...
title card reading 'red skies at night' with background images of some orange frozen drinks on the left and a cruise ship on the water at sunset on the right. also featuring a few stamp borders.
January 22, 2025 at 4:47 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
gotta be the little merstede that @spirker.bsky.social knitted for me for my birthday 🥹🥹🥹
small knitted merstede. there’s no size reference here but he is literally maybe 3in tall. he is holding a trident and he has tiny nipples.
January 9, 2025 at 6:29 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
me and the mutuals every time david makes a vague social media post
screenshot of billy eicher and some lesbians running down the street from the ‘let’s go lesbians let’s go’ meme except I have covered billy’s face with david jenkins’ and put clown emojis over the other faces. text has been edited to read ‘let’s go clowns let’s go’
December 25, 2024 at 12:00 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
stede after he and ed experiment with orgasm denial on sexual sunday #ofmdnsfw
screenshot from s1e7 of hit tv show our flag means death when ed and stede are eating their snake snack. there is closed captioning of stede’s line ‘I’ll come on the monday’
December 23, 2024 at 4:55 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
it went well
screenshot of a word counter from google docs showing I wrote a grand total of 30 words tonight
December 16, 2024 at 3:44 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
stede is a menace <3 #sexualsunday #ofmdnsfw
screenshot of a tumblr text post by soupbtch that reads: early morning at the bonnet-teach household and ed is face down on the mattress half asleep as stede lazily plays with his pussy while talking about dinner plans or something equally as mundane. maybe he slips a finger into ed’s hole as he contemplates different ways to cook the fresh salmon they picked up at the market yesterday. two fingers and a ‘ooh with a nice dijon sauce.’ three fingers and ‘do you think some jasmine rice would pair better than mashed potatoes?’ four fingers and a cheeky ‘maybe some roasted broccolini on the side. would you like that, ed?’ full-on fist and a ‘or how about some stuffed peppers, darling? red, of course. I know you hate the green ones.’
December 15, 2024 at 6:28 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
may these cure what ails you 🫂💖
picture of ed teach from s2e3 of our flag means death when he is playing pretend as jeff the innkeeper promo picture of ed teach from s2e8 of our flag means death when he is sitting on the dinghy thinking about the love of his life stede bonnet after just having killed two of the british navy picture of ed teach in s2e3 of our flag means death after he just woke up in the gravy basket bts picture of ed teach from s2e5 of our flag means death when he is being yelled at by lucius. he is wearing the probation onesie and cat collar and clenching his fists anxiously
December 4, 2024 at 11:39 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
I knew this would be my top song this year but top 0.005% lmao??
screenshot of spotify wrapped showing the album cover for ‘greatest hits’ by waterparks. text reads: my top song magnetic waterparks total streams 138 top 0.005% of listeners worldwide
December 4, 2024 at 3:02 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
I read somewhere once that a sneeze is the equivalent of 1/8th of an orgasm and who knows if that’s true but it’s fun to imagine anyway. happy #sexualsunday #ofmdnsfw 😌
screenshot of a tumblr text post dated 8/4/2024 by soupbtch that reads ‘happy sexual sunday I think one time when ed was bouncing on stede’s dick some dust floating around in the air got in his nose and he sneezed and clenched really hard and stede got that oh look on his face. now it’s a little game they play where stede will try and trigger ed’s sneeze response when they’re having sex until ed is delirious and sniffly with his tenth sneeze in a row from stede running a feather under his nose’
December 1, 2024 at 6:47 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
:)
screenshot of text that reads ‘writers: post this if you would like your followers to tell you their favorite scene or fic that you’ve written’
December 1, 2024 at 3:52 AM
soupbtch.bsky.social
happy #sexualsunday sickos 💖 #ofmdfic

archiveofourown.org/works/60812107
screenshot from ao3 of a work titled ‘eyes on fire’ by soupbtch. no archive warnings apply. relationship and characters: blackbeard | edward teach and stede bonnet. tags: alternate universe - modern setting, vampire stede bonnet, voyeurism, stede as the sickos meme, dirty talk, teasing, mutual masturbation, biting, blood drinking, anal fingering, anal sex, soft dom stede bonnet, blackbeard | edward teach has a praise kink, edward teach has a pain kink, top stede bonnet, bottom blackbeard | edward teach, coming untouched, first time, some twilight references, plot what plot/porn without plot, explicit sexual content, author is open to hearing about dead batteries, the inherent eroticism of fangs in neck. summary: ed left the curtains open, and he doesn’t need to spare a glance towards the window to know the vampire is watching. “good evening, edward,” he says, his voice light and conversational. “you look nice. can I come in?” language: english. words: 7,197. chapters: 1/1.
November 24, 2024 at 5:47 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
me every time ao3 is down
screenshot of our flag means death season 2 episode 3. stede is crying and saying ‘come back to me’ to ed.
November 17, 2024 at 11:22 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
happy #sexualsunday #ofmdnsfw 😌
screenshot of a tumblr text post by soupbtch reading: *ed singing to the tune of itsy bitsy spider* today iiis sunday, which means I get to suck on my lovely boyfriend’s dick uuuntil he wants to fuck me on the kitchen table, and that’s wheeen I’ll shout ‘come in my ass and dooooon’t pull out’
November 17, 2024 at 6:07 PM
soupbtch.bsky.social
okay I will do this tomorrow but let’s go
text that reads ‘get to know my taste in fics. for every like I will post one fic I love and why!’
November 16, 2024 at 3:05 AM