on a completely unrelated note i really should keep autocorrect on even if it gets in my way a lot because jeez these typos are embarrassing 😅 i type too fast to be able to keep up with myself

this community continues to confuse and hurt me but i still choose to embrace and enjoy it.

i just want to be a fan of something i think is cool, and i want its creators to know that

who knows. maybe I can do my own private tributes in my own corner of the internet here. I just don't want to piss off anyone and make myself an enemy to anyone. i'm desperate to enjoy something that I didn't have the time to when it was relevant... is it too much to ask for a chance i never had?

5th anniversary special announcements for whitty, tricky, hex, MFM, SEOS, SMBFM, EXE, /v/-tan, Bob, BnB -- the list goes on; I'd love to see ANYTHING celebrating them and how long it's been since then

but not all the dev teams left happy and it's more important to respect their wishes

at the same time though i always want to defend the sincere effort and talent that went into them when the dev teams were still enjoying working on their mods, but not everyone is okay with separating art from artist and/or wants to remember the good when they've been hurt/traumatized by the bad

fuck it. I'm starting now and will try my best to embrace it. I'll see how comfortable it ends up making me and if I love it enough it'll probably be permanent. Who knows

my stomach is starting to feel queasy now

i'm getting some food and water

sometimes i hate myself for being so sensitive to words. i know you mean well, i know you aren't really upset, but i feel stupid compared to someone who's been in this scene longer than me. a better hands-on experience than mine. i feel worthless. you're better than me at this. i hate being weak.