"...Even if I could, I wouldn't want to see inside other people. They can keep their secret gardens, thanks."

Realest post of all time. Every website should let us change the font size to ridiculous extremes to fill stories with screen filling macro noises

The perfect size for smushing and handling :>

"Why are you still a bike seat?"

"Well, if I turn back to normal I'll have to shave a second time today, so."

Trinket of your inherent appearance causes more trouble than its worth; insert punchline of your choosing here

Perfection and squishability are often very hard to tell apart

Lone Wolves: "I'm going to quote Radiohead while I stomp you into the curb."

Actual Wolves: "Oh god oh fuck he's gonna quote Radiohead while he stomps me into the curb."

#MiArcadia

Takes one billion damage

Woohoo!