Hnnnnggggg 🥴🥴🥴

Disclaimer: I have no ill will towards relationship anarchy I just think Kramer would in fact be the worst version of it.

George: you think I don’t know that! But she’s got me locked in! I’m trapped on the relationship escalator and it’s got me going up up up! We’re ESCALATING!

Kramer: why don’t you ghost her?

Elaine chuckles: Oh Georgie boy that was a bad idea.

George: No Duh it was a bad idea! She thought I was breaking up with her. I had to spend an hour telling her I still loved her and want to get married!

Jerry: do you?

George: Jury’s out

Kramer: It’s just a piece of paper!

Kramer: he needs to be thrown in the deep end. Sink or swim.

Jerry: will you both just zip it

*Enter George, sullen*

George: Well, I’m still stuck.

Jerry: what?

George: I tried to tell Susan about the relationship escalator. How it’s a sham and we don’t need it.

Jerry: no he knows, but George, he doesn’t understand nuance yet. I’m letting him dip his toes into the water before getting into the complex stuff

Elaine snorts: George makes monogamy complicated, what makes you think he can handle polyamory?

Jerry: I’m not going to ghost her! I guess I just have to wait a week.

*over the intercom George’s voice comes through* Hey
Jerry: come on up

Jerry: Listen don’t say anything to George. he’s not used to all this yet.

Kramer: You’re keeping secrets?

Kramer: No one is obligated to be around anyone or talk to anyone

Elaine: After 3 months? Yeah you’re obligated to communicate.

Kramer: ghosting IS communicating, Elaine! It’s saying I Don’t Want To Be Here. Most honest communication you can ever have in my opinion.

Kramer: it’s called Relationship Anarchy. And it’s the future Jerry. You just let things be what they are and don’t worry about what people call it. You should just ghost her!

Elaine: He can’t just ghost her! They’ve been dating 3 months! It’s unethical!

Her boyfriend and that was that.

Kramer snaps his fingers and points at Jerry: that was your first mistake.

Jerry: oh what we should all be like you and go through life never knowing what anyone is to anyone? Just letting choas reign?

Kramer: You break up with that chick yet, Jerry?

Jerry: no, I was just telling Elaine. She got broken up with right before I could. I have to wait another week!

Kramer: did you two even put a label on anything?

Jerry: It kinda just happened. She introduced me to a friend as

Partners there too? Way too much work.

Elaine: Welp you’re going to have to use it another week, Jerome. Gotta let the breakup settle in before throwing another one at her.

*ENTER KRAMER, NEARLY FALLING THROUGH THE DOOR AS HE THROWS IT OPEN*

Elaine: Well, you can’t break up with her now. You gotta wait at least a week.

Jerry: a week! No. I can’t.

Elaine: what was wrong with this girl again?

Jerry: she doesn’t use Google Calendar. It’s some new app. I can’t switch everything to a new app. Then get all my other

Elaine: isn’t this the same restaurant you broke up with that other girl at? Didn’t it take two hours?

Jerry: that’s why I can’t have another long winded breakup! I love that place! I can’t have the waiters hate me! I take pride in being liked by waiters. They talk.

morning.”
Jerry throws his arms in the air for emphasis

Elaine hisses in mock pain: the Meta beat you to the punch. So what’d ya do? You still end it?

Jerry: No! How could I! She had tears in her eyes already! Another blow and our timing would be ALL OFF!

feel rushed.

Elaine: Ya gotta get the timing right so the waiters don’t hate you

Jerry: Exactly! Anyway, I’m about to start on about how I’ve enjoyed our time together but I think we need to re-evaluate what we are and she says to me “I needed this, Brad broke up with me this

Elaine: Right right the script, you showed me. Very clean. You’re welcome for adding all the emotionally mature bits btw

Jerry rolls his eyes but continues: Well, I waited till right as we’re finishing, but before the check comes so we don’t linger too long but also don’t