Smylers
LightNews LightNews
banner
smylers.uk
Smylers
@smylers.uk
420 followers 660 following 6.4K posts
Ilkley Christian geek board-gamer puzzle/quiz/crossword fan and parent
Posts Replies Media Videos
smylers.uk
My unrelated book review is of Trevor Noah's memoir ‘Born a Crime’ — which he was, having a black mother and white father in apartheid South Africa, and being unable to be seen in public with either parent: bigdave44.com/2025/11/17/d...

Highly recommended.
Cover of ‘Born a Crime’ by Trevor Noah, featuring a photo of a wall covered with a painting of the author, and a woman walking past looking at it
November 17, 2025 at 1:19 PM
smylers.uk
Hints and explanations for today's Telegraph #CrypticCrossword feature a board game, a model village, a mountain goat, and Asterix's friend: bigdave44.com/2025/11/17/d... — with music from Bellowhead and Pavement, and more sausages than I was expecting in the comments.
The box of the ‘7 Wonders’ board game, featuring depictions of the ancient wonders in a single scene, with a large statue holding a flame in the foreground A model village representation of the Royal Crescent in Bath A goat going up a mountain Asterix's strong friend, carrying a menhir on his back
November 17, 2025 at 1:12 PM
smylers.uk
Having enjoyed the show, this ‘Matilda’ Q&A sounds really interesting. It's also free for Friends of Bradford Theatres, which I am …

.. but it's at a time I can't go! To get there I'd have to set off 10 min before the children's school bus gets them home. *Sooo* close!
“Don't miss these exclusive Friends Events! Matilda The Musical Q&A 📅 Wed 12 November 2025 🎫 Free. Booking Required. ✨ Now Open to ALL Friends Want to hear all about how Matilda The Musical was created and how this spectacular show is toured around the UK? Join us for an exclusive Q&A to chat with the company members and ask your burning questions. Please arrive at the Alhambra Theatre Pit bar from 5.10pm. The Q&A will begin at 5.30pm and end approx. 6pm. To book: Call our Box Office Team on 01274 432000. 2 placer per Premium Friends Member. Limited availability.”
November 10, 2025 at 12:26 PM
smylers.uk
A surprising addition to this morning's commute: being assaulted by a train door.
A form, with this filled in to a large text field: “Walking from the toilet carriage to #74484. I pressed the button for the doors; both opened. The first doors were fine but as I was passing through the second set, they suddenly closed on me, surprisingly viciously. They bruised both of my shoulders before they detected I was there and released me. 1. Please sort out the timing so it's possible to get through both doors before they try to close. 2. Please make the sensor more sensitive so it doesn't hurt if they do close on you. Thanks.”
November 4, 2025 at 8:24 AM
smylers.uk
This evening Spouse and I are going to see ‘The Unfriend’ at #Ilkley Playhouse. I don't know much about it other than it's by Steven Moffat, who also wrote ‘Press Gang’ on TV (among other things).

ilkleyplayhouse.co.uk/IlkleyPlayho...
A hand poking out of a wide velvet sleeve, with long red painted fingernails, holding a red apple, with fire in the background
November 3, 2025 at 6:21 PM
smylers.uk
We all saw ‘Matilda the Musical’ at Bradford Alhambra yesterday. It was as wonderful as I'd been hoping! One of the most impressive things I've ever seen on stage.

Lovely meal in the theatre's 1914 restaurant before the show as well.
Scene from the show of children on swings — belly down, facing the audience, swinging really quite high
November 3, 2025 at 6:18 PM
smylers.uk
#Ilkley parents: free half-term board games event this afternoon: www.yourilkley.com/events/event...
Free Half-Term Event Board Games Afternoon Wednesday October 29th, 2pm–5pm (drop-in) All Saints Church, Ilkley All ages welcome — we have games to challenge teenagers down to those which can be played by toddlers, and everybody in between (plus their grown-ups). Come and play 80s classics or modern favourites, or try out a new release. All Saints Ilkley, Church Street, LS29 9DS Children must be supervised by a parent/carer. Ilkley Board Games on Facebook With a photo of people playing board games on tables in the church, and the boxes of Ticket to Ride, Rhino Hero, Outfoxed, Lost Valley of the DInosaurs, Labyrinth, Carcassonne, Just One, and Azul
October 29, 2025 at 8:19 AM
smylers.uk
That's a lot of faulty trains all on the same day. #Ilkley
Screenshot showing 6 train departures, with the 07:09, 07:21, and 08:08 all cancelled because of a fault on the train (and the 07:37, 07:48, and 07:56 predicted to be on time)
October 24, 2025 at 6:06 AM
smylers.uk
I really can't decide if this is brilliant or terrible.
www.theguardian.com/books/2025/o...
Cover of ‘LIttle Miss Marple: Muddle at the Vicarage’, looking like a Mr Men/Little Miss book, with Roger Hargreaves & Agatha Christie attributed as the authors; the title character is purple with half-moon glasses, white hair, and a hat like Joan Hickson wore in the BBC series
October 23, 2025 at 1:23 PM
smylers.uk
Took a phone call from school. Came back to my computer to find I was 1 letter off completing this, and that's now massively inflated my solve time!
PlusWord No 1248 Solve time: 12:29 Best time: 00:24 Current streak: 21 Longest streak: 247 Avg time: 01:43
October 21, 2025 at 11:43 AM
smylers.uk
“Well, on the phone we read out available dates one at a time and the customer says ‘yes’ to the first one they can do, so we just used the same experience on the website” — the most favourable explanation I can come up with for this monstrosity of a date-picker interface: #UX
Screenshot with the text “Bulk Collections Available Date(s) Dates available: Date 1:Sunday26/10/2025 Date 2: Sunday 09/11/2025 Select date 1 Sunday26/10/2025” then radio buttons for “Yes” and “No” and a “Submit” button
October 20, 2025 at 10:58 AM
smylers.uk
Ah, yes. ‘OED’ claims Q = query from 1902 … but then only manages to cite other dictionaries, not actual use of it!

www.oed.com/dictionary/q... [free for users of some libraries, including Leeds]
III.16.f. 1902– In form Q. or q. Query. 1902 Q, q, = query, question. New English Dictionary (OED first edition) (at cited word) 1945 qu., Q., q., Qu., Qy. or qy., query. G. S. Earlie, Current Abbrev. 165 1992 Q...query..hence camouflaged or disguised, as in Q-boat (or Q-ship), Q car. Oxford Dictionary Abbrev. 297/1
October 19, 2025 at 5:15 PM
smylers.uk
The 2 of hearts playing card
October 17, 2025 at 9:26 AM
smylers.uk
This week's @guestimators.bsky.social score of 6/10 doesn't *sound* impressive, but somehow I seem to've done it by only getting 5 questions right!

I got questions 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, and 3.3 right — can anybody see where the 6th point came from?
Hello Smylers 👋 You scored 6 out of 10 on this week’s quiz: Counting, Champagne and Computer Chaos. The average score was 5 and Bush scored 4. Round One 1: When asked to say what drink they would most like to have coming directly from a tap in their kitchen - in addition to any water taps - did more people on the Guestination say Champagne or Guinness? They said Guinness. You said Champagne 2: The most common answer was Tea. You said Coffee 3: The second most common answer was Orange Juice. You said Wine 4: The canny person who said “an exceptionally expensive alcohol that I could bottle and sell on” - do they tip Less or More than the average person on the Guestination? Less. You said More Round Two 1: When asked to name the letter of the alphabet that would cause “most frustration” were it stop working on their computer keyboard for a year, the most common Vowel said by the Guestination was E. You said E Half points were awarded for saying the second most common - A 2: The most common Consonant said by the Guestination was S. You said S Half points were awarded for saying the second most common - T 3: Did more people on the Guestination say Vowels or Consonants? They said Consonants. You said Vowels Round Three 1: When asked how high they thought they could count in their head without getting distracted and losing their place - with only one go - was it Under-30s or Over-60s who thought they could count higher? Over-60s. You said Over-60s 2: The most common answer was 1000. You said 1000 Half points were awarded for saying the second most common answer - 500 3: In what range was the lowest number said by someone on the Guestination? 20-29. You said 20-29 Tiebreaker: The highest number said by someone on the Guestination was 10000. You said 5000
October 17, 2025 at 7:44 AM
smylers.uk
And the unrelated book review at the bottom is for @lynneguist.bsky.social's guide to British–American differences in English, which may be of interest even if you aren't into crosswords: bigdave44.com/2025/10/13/d...
October 13, 2025 at 10:27 AM
smylers.uk
Hints and explanations for today's Telegraph cryptic crossword, with a selection of children's characters, music from @sawdoctors.com, and an ambiguous bakery term: bigdave44.com/2025/10/13/d...

It's at a beginner-friendly level. If you don't have access to it ask and I'll send you a guest link.
October 13, 2025 at 10:13 AM
smylers.uk
Interesting. Let's hope Bluesky stays like this!

Incidentally, any idea why your name gets truncated on the timeline? Everybody else's shows in full, even those with longer names. Have you put some invisible control characters in there or something?
Screenshot of the post being replied to, in which Jesse's name shows up as “Jesse Vinc...” with a truncated surname, despite their being lots of space to the right
October 12, 2025 at 5:45 AM
smylers.uk
Less of the “we”, Outlook: *you* couldn't open the image file — leave me out of your failings!
A blank white rectangle with the text “We couldn't open the image file” in the middle of it
October 10, 2025 at 8:38 AM
smylers.uk
Only scoring 5½ on @guestimators.bsky.social yet still being 96% of the way up the rankings might be my best worst score. Or my worst best score?

If you didn't play, see the questions and answers here and score yourself: www.guestimators.com/quiz061025
Hello Smylers 👋 You scored 5.5 out of 10 on this week’s quiz: Swift, Spice and School Dinnerladies. The average score was 3.5 and Bush scored 2. You scored the same or better than 96.2% of your fellow Guestimators.
October 10, 2025 at 7:23 AM
smylers.uk
The first place it suggests is a “Local authority recycling centre” over the border in a Leeds council area. We live in a Bradford area. www.recycleyourelectricals.org.uk/electrical-r...

And they don't actually know whether I can use it, telling me to check elsewhere:
What else do I need to know? You may only be able to visit this recycling centre if you are a local resident of the borough. Check your local authority's website for details.
October 8, 2025 at 4:28 PM
smylers.uk
Our new microwave is by Swan. They have their own UK online shop. Let's see whether they'll take our old one. They have a recycling page: shop.swan-brand.co.uk/pages/recycle

That'll be ‘no’, then. At least it's a quick ‘no’, rather than the looking-like-‘yes’-but-not-actually of some of the others.
Recycling your appliances Did you know, as well as recycling standard paper/ plastic packaging, you can also recycle your old appliances free of charge at any WEEE recycling centre established by local authorities. Be sure to check for the nearest WEEE recycling centre to you.
October 8, 2025 at 4:15 PM
smylers.uk
Let's try that first option and see where our nearest drop-off point is.

Oh.

Yep, the Amazon UK website links to a UPS location finder only for USA addresses! www.ups.com/us/en/busine...

Again, it's like they don't actually care.

At least Robert Dyas was only in London!
Find a UPS Location Enter Address: Ilkley Look Up > Ilkley Moor Ln, Ellicott City, MD USA Ilkley Circle, Cheapspake, VA, USA Ilkley Lane, Horizon City, TX, USA
October 8, 2025 at 4:11 PM
smylers.uk
Back to Amazon's appliance recycling, which depends on its weight: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/cust...

< 30 kg: collection by Landbell group
> 30 kg: home-pick up by Landbell group

Um. is that actually different?

Anyway, let's hope our old microwave isn't *exactly* 30 kg and fall outside of both …
For equipment weighing less than 30kg, you can create and print a prepaid label with the Landbell Group. Once your item is properly packed, you can bring it to one of the drop-off points or arrange for a collection. Temperature exchange equipment cannot be sent for recycling via prepaid shipping label (as described above). Instead, you can drop it off at collection points or request a pick-up. Temperature exchange equipment includes refrigerators, freezers, equipment which automatically delivers cold products, air conditioning equipment, dehumidifying equipment, heat pumps, radiators containing oil and other temperature exchange equipment which use fluids other than water for the temperature exchange. For equipment weighing more than 30kg or with larger dimensions at 120 x 60 x 60 cm, you can request a free of charge home-pick up with the Landbell Group. Please provide the order number of the new item you are purchasing at the time of the recycling collection request. Once your request is validated, they will contact you to arrange a suitable time for collection.
October 8, 2025 at 4:07 PM
smylers.uk
Amazon? Their tax-dodging harms the country and I refuse to use them for anything we can get elsewhere (even when it costs more), but maybe they actually provide appliance recycling?

This page linked from their footer is hopeful: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/browse.ht...
Amazon helps you recycle products you no longer need Click on the images below to find out more about how to recycle products from our waste management program Electrical & Electronic Equipment Batteries Packaging Clothing and Textile Light Bulbs Engine Oil Photovoltaic Panels
October 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
smylers.uk
They also *might* take small items, such as kettles and toasters. A microwave is bigger than their example small items (which are all things I could easily carry to recycle anywhere on foot) but smaller than their listed big items, so it isn't clear which way it goes.
Small appliances If there's room on our delivery van, we can remove & recycle small appliances free of charge. Examples of these small appliances include kettles, toasters, vacuum cleaners etc.
October 8, 2025 at 3:55 PM