Not an English teacher, presumably.

Wow, one of mine - finally!

I’m dreaming of a white jizzmas

The order is wrong. Birmingham should be last; Manchester second, Leeds third. Sheffield could do a jobshare with Bristol as they are not serious places but probably score well for name recognition.

We’d have no Fesshole with no fesses. Back off!

Yes there is.

Hard cringe on the ‘poetry’.

At least BBC audiences don’t clap on the first and third beats of the bar, like they do on ITV.

But have you tried using Amazon lately? It’s absolute wall to wall crap.

They’ll probably call it an Alpha course.

Don’t worry, the far right Reform / Tommy Robinson axis is poised to do an entryist takeover any time now. The pews will be full of Jerusalem-singing racist skinheads before you know it. They’ll have to rewrite the Bible to make it a bit more down on refugees of course.

Here in Leeds, the worst road boasts terrible house names, each of them lacking imagination in a way that befits an historic road of 100-year-old family homes entirely bulldozed and replaced with progressively more horrible massive new builds. There are two competing manors, a “castle” and a villa

Oh hi Grace!

Merry Christmas, Rob. Huge fan of all your amazing projects. And of Pluribus, whose second season is assured (unlike that of the Christ child).

I think even a single exclamation mark is excessive.