for full context i've had this book on my account since august 2023. i wasn't going to randomly add it just to dogpile, i wanted to review it to say i wasn't gonna be reading it anymore lol.

but it's nice that i randomly have 1k followers on here! lmao

but i’m so fucking lonely. and social media’s my only connection to the outside world. i should just kill myself.

so i think i’m stuck in this mindset that if i’m going to date anyone it can’t be someone i can’t meet irl. bc what the fuck would be the point of that?

i fucked up so bad. i wish i could rewind time. i wish i’m not myself. i wish i wish i wish.

i miss the feeling of caring about someone. of being able to talk to someone every day w/o feeling like i’m bothering them. of trusting someone with my thoughts and feelings. talking to someone bc i enjoy it, not bc i have to, and them feeling the same with me.

i wonder if anyone who used to be a part of my life misses me. anyone from high school or anyone i used to be friends with or used to work with. is anyone thinking about me?

lately i’ve been starting to wonder if i subconsciously make myself sad bc i can somehow hide behind it. if i don’t think about my grief all the time then i’m gonna have to figure out who i am and i’m scared to?

i miss having someone i could call my best friend. but then again i had feelings for her and i’m pretty sure she knew so it wasn’t fair to her… but her ghosting me almost 2 years ago is what started this whole spiral and i still haven’t recovered.

i have social anxiety. i have no idea how to meet people other than thru school or work, of which i have neither. how do people do this?

i get so depressed to the point that people’s close friendships and happy relationships make me tear up and i feel so bad about myself. but on the other hand i genuinely abhor dating apps.