i was on the tube heading to heathrow with my boyfriend on jan 4th and this random girl said to us “you guys are so cute btw….im jealous” as she was getting off the train, and she did more for my self esteem than anyone ever could have

i got more dopamine from kendrick smiling into the camera saying “say drake, i heard you like em young” than i ever did from doing cocaine

the moral of the story is to never trust a man who has lived in montreal

when is this app gonna be as funny as twitter tho

if yall thought i was unhinged on instagram u obviously never say my twitter

The US banning books is crazy like wdym they can’t read the hunger games

i cannot BELIEVE i need to wash my face and brush my teeth EVERY DAY!!!!!! give a girl a BREAK

maybe this is my chance to become famous on an app