If you’re wondering what a “least weasel” is, they absolutely live up to the name. This is the least amount of animal you can have that can still meet the bar for “is weasel”

honestly I think that’s perfectly reasonable but you may have to leave it to your next-of-kin to collect.

I guess all this is just to say, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in your life, you’ve probably never done so SO badly people start calling you literal Satan. and you should always tip your headsman generously. oh! another pro-tip: if you can, ask him to use a sword rather than an axe. okay bye.

a pamphlet called “The Apology of John Ketch Esq.” circulated for a while, which purported to be his own account and defense of his actions wrt Lord Russell, but it’s not clear if he really wrote it. either way it contributed to his infamy. and he died like a year after the Monmouth thing!

a couple of years later, it reportedly took Ketch five blows to behead the 1st Duke of Monmouth. both times, the crowd, which was full of, y’know, *people who had come to see a literal beheading*, were incensed by the incompetence and cruelty of the thing.

anyway, traditionally one tipped the headsman to encourage him to do his job swiftly. while executing Lord Russell for treason, Ketch didn’t. reportedly, after the first blow, which missed, the man turned and asked “you dog, did I give you ten guineas to use me so inhumanely?” like, come on, dude.

side note: long-drop hanging, designed to break the neck instead of strangling the victim, wasn’t introduced until 1866. it requires more skill to perform, and is easy to bungle. see, i.e., American hangman John C. Woods, who (maybe intentionally?) bungled a bunch of Nazi war criminal executions.

Ketch was an executioner employed by Charles II, in a period/place where beheading was the preferred method of capital punishment for aristocrats, due to being, if all goes well, much faster and less painful than hanging. emphasis on “if all goes well” though.

“what shit in particular” any of it!!!