*I'm unloading groceries and the neighbor's overly friendly visitor sees me and decides to chat.*
Visitor: "Wow, that's a lot of Diet Coke."
Me: Yeah, I'm hoping that at least if it doesn't make me skinny, it'll kill me.
Visitor: Haha, omg you're so funnyyyy
Me: 🫩

I just ordered something off the Tiktok shop, can y'all ask Trump not to call Xi Jinping a dickhead for the next few weeks until it gets here? Thanks

We could've had a bad bitch

'Naked and Afraid' except it's in Steamworks Chicago.

I'm so sick of winter I'm even looking forward to that part of spring when the trees smell like wide open ass.

She's always writing a new book 😂

Sometimes you gotta spoil your man. #vday #gaystuff

Happy Valentine's day 💋

Ketchup On Walls Alert: HIGH

I'd bet my left bussy lip that DJT has a skid mark in his drawers right now. Someone check and report back.