smithdidit
@smithdidit.bsky.social
Heroic, yet slightly vulnerable.
If ICE wanted to make themselves useful they’d put Walmart greeters out of their misery and shoot them in the face.
January 9, 2026 at 6:50 AM
If ICE wanted to make themselves useful they’d put Walmart greeters out of their misery and shoot them in the face.
ICE is so poorly managed and trained they're shooting white people in the face. #MinnesotaNice
January 8, 2026 at 1:55 AM
ICE is so poorly managed and trained they're shooting white people in the face. #MinnesotaNice
How soon will it take El Presidete to pardon the ICE Agent that shot the Minneapolis woman in the face today?
January 7, 2026 at 11:33 PM
How soon will it take El Presidete to pardon the ICE Agent that shot the Minneapolis woman in the face today?
7 days into the new year and I'm begging to go back to 2025.
January 7, 2026 at 10:59 PM
7 days into the new year and I'm begging to go back to 2025.
It would be pretty funny if deposed Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro got to court and they charged him with overdue parking tickets.
January 5, 2026 at 5:03 PM
It would be pretty funny if deposed Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro got to court and they charged him with overdue parking tickets.
I didn't know we could walk into a foreign country and arrest the President. That's pretty cool.
January 4, 2026 at 6:05 PM
I didn't know we could walk into a foreign country and arrest the President. That's pretty cool.
Why stop at Venezuela? Let's invade Vatican City.
January 3, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Why stop at Venezuela? Let's invade Vatican City.
If American's can at least get a free round-trip to Venezuela for all of this maybe it's worth it. #SpringBreak
January 3, 2026 at 10:26 PM
If American's can at least get a free round-trip to Venezuela for all of this maybe it's worth it. #SpringBreak
@halsparks.com Is there any upside to invading Venezuela? Do you think we'll get a more economical price on cocaine?
January 3, 2026 at 6:55 PM
@halsparks.com Is there any upside to invading Venezuela? Do you think we'll get a more economical price on cocaine?
If we're going to heal as a country, we have to get past the Goo Goo Dolls as musical entertainment. Can we at least agree on that?
January 1, 2026 at 5:42 AM
If we're going to heal as a country, we have to get past the Goo Goo Dolls as musical entertainment. Can we at least agree on that?
Secretary of War Pete Hegseth vows to drone strike Santa if he enters Venezuela's air space.
#MerryChristmas
#MerryChristmas
December 25, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Secretary of War Pete Hegseth vows to drone strike Santa if he enters Venezuela's air space.
#MerryChristmas
#MerryChristmas
If you have a friend that skips ahead in his playlist to hear the Limp Bizkit song, you have a friend that's going to get you in trouble.
December 16, 2025 at 6:19 AM
If you have a friend that skips ahead in his playlist to hear the Limp Bizkit song, you have a friend that's going to get you in trouble.
If we can't drone strike boats allegedly carrying drugs to the US as they race through the Caribbean Sea (aka the American Sea), than how are we going to justify drone strikes of migrant caravans allegedly carrying drugs to our border?
December 2, 2025 at 5:50 AM
If we can't drone strike boats allegedly carrying drugs to the US as they race through the Caribbean Sea (aka the American Sea), than how are we going to justify drone strikes of migrant caravans allegedly carrying drugs to our border?
In many ways my childhood toy, the Magic Eight Ball was way more accurate than ChatGPT.
November 30, 2025 at 5:47 AM
In many ways my childhood toy, the Magic Eight Ball was way more accurate than ChatGPT.
Across America there's an entire sub-segment of oversized men with face tattoos using their likeness to Jelly Roll as their key to success in everyday life.
November 25, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Across America there's an entire sub-segment of oversized men with face tattoos using their likeness to Jelly Roll as their key to success in everyday life.
I'm having a hard time telling where an egg salad ends and a potato salad begins.
November 24, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I'm having a hard time telling where an egg salad ends and a potato salad begins.
If incarnation is true, there's no way I was a good person in a previous life.
November 24, 2025 at 3:27 AM
If incarnation is true, there's no way I was a good person in a previous life.
What happens if AI has a discrete $200 a day drug problem? Okay I'll just come out and say it, what if AI regularly gets high on crack? What are we supposed to do then? And don't say this isn't possible. Everyone keeps saying AI is taking over. That's a lot of pressure.
November 21, 2025 at 6:00 AM
What happens if AI has a discrete $200 a day drug problem? Okay I'll just come out and say it, what if AI regularly gets high on crack? What are we supposed to do then? And don't say this isn't possible. Everyone keeps saying AI is taking over. That's a lot of pressure.
BREAKING: Trump gives MBS authorization to take entire Congress home in suitcase.
November 19, 2025 at 3:36 AM
BREAKING: Trump gives MBS authorization to take entire Congress home in suitcase.
It's not that there's not enough hours in a day, there's not enough minutes in an hour.
November 18, 2025 at 5:05 PM
It's not that there's not enough hours in a day, there's not enough minutes in an hour.
Don't ever get so high that you go to the grocery store and turn down an unfamiliar aisle. You will freak out.
November 17, 2025 at 6:31 AM
Don't ever get so high that you go to the grocery store and turn down an unfamiliar aisle. You will freak out.
I heard the term "20-pound fecal impaction" for the first time today, but I feel like I've been living it for years.
November 17, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I heard the term "20-pound fecal impaction" for the first time today, but I feel like I've been living it for years.
Jamaican media press conferences always sound relaxing no matter how tragic the disaster.
October 29, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Jamaican media press conferences always sound relaxing no matter how tragic the disaster.
If I was good at golf, that's all I would do.
October 15, 2025 at 4:15 AM
If I was good at golf, that's all I would do.
These are jokes people.
October 8, 2025 at 11:14 PM
These are jokes people.