anyway no one saw this coming but I am once again hurt and sad

I feel like my defense mechanisms are working overtime these days. sucks that avoidance is one of them, because this will inevitably and spectacularly blow up in my face.

“hi I’m smau and I’m really exceptionally good at getting hurt”

I am sad because I feel accused too. I’m just fully upset. I’m tired bc this is a recurring problem and I didn’t intend for it to be.

I am frustrated.