Fink
@smartassredfish.bsky.social
I'm a satirist, a humorist, and the world's funniest redfish. I write for the http://BroadStreetBeacon.com & The http://Fazzler.com. Follow me, I follow back.
Washington, D.C. -- In his first major policy initiative as Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth announced a comprehensive ban on My Little Pony content across all U.S. military installations, citing concerns that the franchise undermines combat readiness and warrior ethos.
fazzler.com/pete-hegseth...
fazzler.com/pete-hegseth...
November 11, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Washington, D.C. -- In his first major policy initiative as Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth announced a comprehensive ban on My Little Pony content across all U.S. military installations, citing concerns that the franchise undermines combat readiness and warrior ethos.
fazzler.com/pete-hegseth...
fazzler.com/pete-hegseth...
by Loretta Splitair, reporting because she had nothing better to do.
New York, NY -- I’ve covered plenty of absurd stories for The Fazzler, but none quite like this: Larry David is headed to Broadway to star in a full-scale operetta about Bernie Sanders’ life.
fazzler.com/larry-david-...
New York, NY -- I’ve covered plenty of absurd stories for The Fazzler, but none quite like this: Larry David is headed to Broadway to star in a full-scale operetta about Bernie Sanders’ life.
fazzler.com/larry-david-...
November 11, 2025 at 7:58 PM
by Loretta Splitair, reporting because she had nothing better to do.
New York, NY -- I’ve covered plenty of absurd stories for The Fazzler, but none quite like this: Larry David is headed to Broadway to star in a full-scale operetta about Bernie Sanders’ life.
fazzler.com/larry-david-...
New York, NY -- I’ve covered plenty of absurd stories for The Fazzler, but none quite like this: Larry David is headed to Broadway to star in a full-scale operetta about Bernie Sanders’ life.
fazzler.com/larry-david-...
Forget CNN, forget Fox, forget the papers of record, The Fazzler is the only outlet unafraid to say what America’s thinking: what in God’s carbonated name is GitFurbersale?
August 19, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Forget CNN, forget Fox, forget the papers of record, The Fazzler is the only outlet unafraid to say what America’s thinking: what in God’s carbonated name is GitFurbersale?
Trump walked into a press conference in a tan suit, announced “I hear this is what they like,” and spent the next hour pretending the color beige could rewrite his entire presidency. Reporters asked about inflation and the Epstein files, but the suit got more airtime than all of them combined.
August 12, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Trump walked into a press conference in a tan suit, announced “I hear this is what they like,” and spent the next hour pretending the color beige could rewrite his entire presidency. Reporters asked about inflation and the Epstein files, but the suit got more airtime than all of them combined.
Only at The Fazzler.com do we fearlessly thrust ourselves into the righteous, scandalous underbelly of American morality, bringing you the hardcore truths that mainstream media tiptoes around.
July 12, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Only at The Fazzler.com do we fearlessly thrust ourselves into the righteous, scandalous underbelly of American morality, bringing you the hardcore truths that mainstream media tiptoes around.
When Bill Bucks finally woke up after eight years in a coma, he didn't just face a pile of hospital bills—he discovered Uncle Sam had already signed him up for Walmart's next available shift. Thanks to Trump's Big Beautiful Bill, Medicaid now requires even unconscious patriots to punch a time clock.
July 4, 2025 at 4:50 PM
When Bill Bucks finally woke up after eight years in a coma, he didn't just face a pile of hospital bills—he discovered Uncle Sam had already signed him up for Walmart's next available shift. Thanks to Trump's Big Beautiful Bill, Medicaid now requires even unconscious patriots to punch a time clock.
🎶🚀 BREAKING PARODY WARFARE NEWS! Weird Al Yankovic faces international intrigue, denying his accordions had anything to do with recent drone attacks on Russian airbases. Was it polka sabotage all along? 🪗✈️😲
June 4, 2025 at 10:36 AM
🎶🚀 BREAKING PARODY WARFARE NEWS! Weird Al Yankovic faces international intrigue, denying his accordions had anything to do with recent drone attacks on Russian airbases. Was it polka sabotage all along? 🪗✈️😲
🪦📜 The Fazzler went there—literally. We sent our red fish correspondent straight to Iowa, armed with irony, insulin, and a powdered wig. This is the journalism you didn’t ask for but absolutely deserve. Vive la Résistance. Stay fazzled.
June 3, 2025 at 6:15 PM
🪦📜 The Fazzler went there—literally. We sent our red fish correspondent straight to Iowa, armed with irony, insulin, and a powdered wig. This is the journalism you didn’t ask for but absolutely deserve. Vive la Résistance. Stay fazzled.
📰 Only The Fazzler had the torque to chase this greasy truth down the Fourth Street back alleys of Reno. While other outlets keep feeding you recycled outrage and celebrity toe fungus, we stay laser-focused on the stories that matter. Stay aware. Stay amused. Stay fazzled. 🚗💡👀
May 30, 2025 at 8:20 PM
📰 Only The Fazzler had the torque to chase this greasy truth down the Fourth Street back alleys of Reno. While other outlets keep feeding you recycled outrage and celebrity toe fungus, we stay laser-focused on the stories that matter. Stay aware. Stay amused. Stay fazzled. 🚗💡👀
🗞️🔥 Leave it to the Broad Street Beacon and Loretta Splitair to serve you this gravy-soaked scoop of investigative brilliance. Our intrepid reporting exposes the culinary limits of authoritarianism, because truth, justice, and absurdist dining dilemmas matter. 🕵️♂️🍴😂
May 29, 2025 at 6:15 PM
🗞️🔥 Leave it to the Broad Street Beacon and Loretta Splitair to serve you this gravy-soaked scoop of investigative brilliance. Our intrepid reporting exposes the culinary limits of authoritarianism, because truth, justice, and absurdist dining dilemmas matter. 🕵️♂️🍴😂
📰 Trust The Fazzler—your uncompromising beacon of truth, tirelessly delivering the real, hard-hitting news that truly matters. Because billionaires deserve better—and so do our readers! 🌟
May 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
📰 Trust The Fazzler—your uncompromising beacon of truth, tirelessly delivering the real, hard-hitting news that truly matters. Because billionaires deserve better—and so do our readers! 🌟
🔥🤘 Trust The Fazzler to riff through the fog of misinformation, shredding the truth wide open! No rockstar is too big, no billionaire too elusive, we expose the wildest backstage plots and hardest-hitting scandals. Keep your devil horns high. Stay Loud. Stay Alert. Stay Fazzled.
May 16, 2025 at 9:54 AM
🔥🤘 Trust The Fazzler to riff through the fog of misinformation, shredding the truth wide open! No rockstar is too big, no billionaire too elusive, we expose the wildest backstage plots and hardest-hitting scandals. Keep your devil horns high. Stay Loud. Stay Alert. Stay Fazzled.
At The Fazzler, Cleveland Sam keeps democracy honest and absurdly limber, bringing spectral scoop 📰 straight from beneath the Rotunda’s toupee rack. Because who else covers aerobics in the afterlife? #StayInformed #StayAmused #StayFazzled
May 14, 2025 at 2:51 PM
At The Fazzler, Cleveland Sam keeps democracy honest and absurdly limber, bringing spectral scoop 📰 straight from beneath the Rotunda’s toupee rack. Because who else covers aerobics in the afterlife? #StayInformed #StayAmused #StayFazzled
At The Fazzler, we boldly ask the questions other outlets won't—like how many mini muffins it takes to heal international embarrassment 🍪🌎. Bringing you absurd news from the edge of sanity since forever. #StayInformed #StayAmused #StayFazzled
May 12, 2025 at 9:22 PM
At The Fazzler, we boldly ask the questions other outlets won't—like how many mini muffins it takes to heal international embarrassment 🍪🌎. Bringing you absurd news from the edge of sanity since forever. #StayInformed #StayAmused #StayFazzled
At The Fazzler, we take pride in unearthing these uncomfortable truths masked as efficiency—doing the tough job of real journalism so you don't have to. Stay informed. Stay amused. Stay Fazzled. 🗞️✨
May 9, 2025 at 3:49 PM
At The Fazzler, we take pride in unearthing these uncomfortable truths masked as efficiency—doing the tough job of real journalism so you don't have to. Stay informed. Stay amused. Stay Fazzled. 🗞️✨
🎯 This is exactly why The Fazzler stands alone as the pantheon of truth in American media—fearless, fast, and finned. While other outlets blink, we report. While others bend, we splash. This is journalism the way our founding cephalopods intended. 🐠📣
May 8, 2025 at 11:03 PM
🎯 This is exactly why The Fazzler stands alone as the pantheon of truth in American media—fearless, fast, and finned. While other outlets blink, we report. While others bend, we splash. This is journalism the way our founding cephalopods intended. 🐠📣