The fall of the house of usher is just Succession if written by Poe

I am trying really hard to be healthier and make better decisions for my body which is awesome but that means I’m going to be losing my fat belly and I’m very sad because it is a perfect holder for my phone when I am driving 

Our landlord is finally responding to a maintenance request from April

Make me speaker of the house. I love speak in my house about useless nonsense

He was so happy to go hiking today :,)

My mom sent me a link for off brand plan B so I guess she really understands she’s not getting a grandkid from me

Governor Cox said that Utah’s national parks will stay open during the government shut down through state funding. And I would just love if he want me switch departments and be a park ranger during it

Recently bought my husband the Dan Flashes shirt but it also fits me. I work with the local courts a lot and need to know if I should be wearing this to my next hearing

Officially deleting Twitter today and feeling free

The world is in need of sun dresses for skinny girls with big boobs and fat girls with little boobs (me) asap

Coworker told me to ask for my uterus when they remove it then drop kick it off a cliff