and im still fucking dreaming about Joseph coming back and dreams where i’m screaming at my mom or my car doesn’t have brakes or i’m late

I am stressed out over my health, over money, over holidays that are coming up, it’s also been almost a year since i lost someone that i held very close to my heart

like im sorry but i have to choose between wanting to be alive and wanting to go to work and it feels very obligatory to pick the first option