Find it here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ine5...

Link to the premiere: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cbP...

She's got attitude and I like that

A year ago today, I escaped that place. And in a few weeks, it will have been one year since I created this account. And on that anniversary, I plan to post something big. A culmination of all the work and growth and inspiration I've felt in the past year.

Thank you.

I don't usually believe in omens or symbolism, but looking back on that tree, I see myself there. Passion that seemed dead. A false appearance of life that was really just a distraction, a leech. And finally, the rebirth of life that was always there, I just neglected to see it.

During the last weeks of my time there, I took some final walks and saw that the tree was clear of ivy, and had grown its own magnificent display of leaves. All along, the "dead tree" I had been so fascinated by was very much alive.

Months later, I was sent reeling with heartbreak and betrayal. It was the lowest hole I've ever been in. I couldn't even trust someone I lived with. Months passed and things were only getting worse, and I eventually had to move out because of it.

That time seemed like the happiest in my life, but in hindsight, I was not true to myself. I still lacked inspiration, conviction. I was living for another, unquestioningly, and neglecting myself, and they were neglecting me too. I just overlooked it, too hopeful for my own good.

I don't usually believe in omens or symbolism, but I saw some meaning in this. How a dead tree could still teem with life. How my own life could turn around. But I forgot that ivy is not the tree itself. That ivy is like a parasite, often choking the life beneath it.

At the time, I was very depressed. I felt no meaning in my art, and couldn't find a job. Then, I suddenly fell in love, and life felt better than it ever had before. I had motivation, hope for the future. At the time, the tree started to grow green with incredible amounts of ivy.

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Very Evangelion.

Unfortunately, it seems that suffering is good for art. I only started creating art I'm proud of after a long period of intense emotional suffering. Sure, I came out the other side a better person and better artist, but I still wish the pain was unnecessary. Such is life.

I would appreciate any criticism, discussion, etc.
this is my first attempt at proper writing and I'd like any feedback I can get, positive or negative