With the acknowledgment that this is a “brother you made the sandwich” moment, Thomas’s high protein bagels may be the worst food I have ever purchased. Beyond tasting bad itself it somehow nullified the flavor of cream cheese and everything bagel seasoning. A black hole of the senses

Not a comment on Timothee Chalamet as an actor but whenever I see him I think of something my mom said (the only time she’s ever alluded to her taste in men): “I never liked Richard Benjamin as a leading man. He’s a WIMP!”

I don’t like how sexual the new york times crossword is becoming

One of my neighbors smokes glass and spends all night dancing alone to music videos on his outdoor projector, clapping and whooping. One time he approached me and told me the cap was off our chimney and he’d call the roofers to fix it then power-walked away. It was fixed the next morning

Balancing out a clam chowder dinner with multivitamin gummies and an experimental unreleased “New Even-Drier Formula” Quest bar

Absolutely crushed today’s OEC Pick 5. My intuitions about which countries exported the most Pulley Systems were finally rewarded