In Week 5 or so of this current NFL season, a buddy and I googled something about the Detroit Lions game we had just watched. Google's AI widget apologized for not having an answer, as it claimed the NFL season hadn't started yet.

Counterpoint: Mushroom Dick Stadium has a nice ring to it.

Hey now, Jeffries has shown remarkable talent at worthless performative gestures, fecklessness, and shitting on the left. Pelosi's leaving knowing her legacy is safe with him.

Yeah, but like Wilt had a game with 62 points, 43 rebounds, 114 blocks, in 514 minutes. Granted, it was before they'd invented tracking stats, but he was photographed with a piece of paper with those numbers written on it without any context at all, so... same thing, right?

After the break, watch this brave local hero (me) shrilly call the cops in a blind panic to a child's lemonade stand because she wouldn't denounce Hamas quickly enough.

I raise you this group of winners from the most memorable year of my team's history.

Goddammit, Gene!

Given that the Lions will inevitably get hit with tons of injuries, what are the chances that Motor City Dan Campbell (MCDC) has a uniform sitting in his office, ready for him to take the field? And how is that not already the plot of a Dennis Quaid-led sports movie?

Man, I feel so bad for his main opponent. He had to try to overcome all that privilege despite just being a lowly former governor and son of a different former governor.

This episode has me worried that Sam isn't able to correctly identify bits. The "I'm gonna answer this in a technically-correct way to show how clever I am" thing is a bit. No earnesty at all. Zac's is the only earnest answer here.

White weenie white weenie white weenie white weenie white weenie!!!!!!

Let's send the head of Doge to the coal mines.

The other day, I was searching something and needed an accurate answer so badly that... that I tried to Bing it.

Yeah! Get 'im!