I found my person. I'm going to stay here and wait. For however long it takes. They are not a stepping stone for me. I made my choice. I put my nest in their hands. It's still theirs to have. I know it can work. I just have to be patience for my foffin to come back.

I mean, yeah but... No. I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm okay. I can see why he was side eyeing me tho. He did not take my BP. I don't think either of us wanted to see it.

Thing is... I don't care about that. Any of it. I just sit and stare at the rings I got. Promises for forever. I choose you.

Boosters (flu/Covid) got and I feel the side effects coming. I'm happy I'm having a reaction. My last one, I don't recall having much of an effect.

My doctor gave me the number for both Eastern Health crisis and the PET team after I explained what's been up. He's concerned about grief collapse.

Part of me will always hope that they'll come back but with the silent treatment now, it's going to be a long time before that happens.

I'm never allowing another person in. My rainbow is gone, my painite is lost, and I am so fucking empty but I'll live on.

I wasn't chosen.

They're trying so hard to keep you, but you think if you touch them, they'll reject you or kill a part of themselves to make you happy and you don't want that.

So... Why do they stay?

Because they love you and nothing, not a damn thing in this world will change that.

Ever.

they'll be better with someone not so broken but you crave them but the idea of touching them terrifies you yet you don't want them to go... but they insist on waiting for you.

That can fuck you up. You can't, or won't, trust them because all you do is hurt people yet...