Simon The Vampyre
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simonthevampyre.itch.io
Simon The Vampyre
@simonthevampyre.itch.io
91 followers 1.1K following 86 posts
Non-binary (he/they), neurodivergent vampyre bat, 30+, 🇸🇪
🔞Minors DNI
Certified vampire nerd, LARPer, storyteller; freelance writer, musician, graphic & web designer, camera operator, ITSec consultant & locksporter.
Preg/belly lover; occasionally pregposts🫄🏻
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simonthevampyre.itch.io
noticed that one of the cymes had 13 flowers, as one of them got a twin, so it'll most likely be 13 tomatoes.

(there was another that appeared to have 13 flowers, but the 13th bud was not so lucky, as it apparently snapped off)
Picture showing flowers number 11, 12 and 13 (which is just beginning to open), as well as some already fertilized tomatoes in the same cluster.
August 4, 2025 at 1:41 PM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
Took some pictures today, showing both the developing tomatoes, and the new flowers that are opening up.

In total, there are now 23 tomatoes on the vines, with many more to come (expecting around ~120 so far, based on the number of clusters, or cymes, of tomato flowers).
Picture of ten (10) unripe high cherry tomatoes on their vine, in various stages of growth, from ones that have just dropped their petals, to ones about as big as a fingertip. Image of a cluster of high cherry tomato flowers, near where the stem has been topped to limit growth exceeding 200 centimeters. Several of the flowers are open, exposing the cone of anthers around the stigma, to allow pollination, while others are still opening; one flower is closed, as it has been fertilized, and another has dropped its petals, leaving only the developing fruit (not visible from this angle).
August 3, 2025 at 2:57 PM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
Tomorrow, Friday the 13th of June, 2025, is going to be Queer Friday The 13th, for those celebrating Pride Month in June. It only comes around 4 times in a 28-year period; last time it happened was 11 years ago, in 2014, and next time will be in 2031. During the early hours of Queer Friday the 13th, in areas where Pride is celebrated in June, all queer-phobic people will get visited by the Pride Demon, who will scare the straight out of them, just for a bit. Few, if any, will remember this occurring; most will only wake up in a cold sweat, with gay thoughts. Then, for the rest of the day, their barely remembered experience will distract them; again, most will chalk it up to regular Friday The 13th superstition, although it is anything but. This will keep happening, until the Pride Demon is appeased.
June 12, 2025 at 7:58 PM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
This picture is from a while ago, but definitely a good fit for #FakeBellyFriday
(was wearing my old fake bump, which no longer fits me 🥲)
Close up of a person's pregnant-looking belly, stretching out a graphic t-shirt with a print of a skeleton in a top hat, playing an electric guitar in a graveyard, and other skeletons throwing up the horns. The person is also wearing a black hoodie, and resting one hand on their swollen middle; their nails are painted black.
May 23, 2025 at 7:25 PM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
These parts:
> Or it requires a device that fires a steel rod at the lock, releases the cylinder, and sticks a fine metal rod in to open the lock.
> they’re generally available only to governmental agencies or distinct professionals,
Screengrab from the V5 Second Inquisition book; it reads as follows: "Lockpick gun" "Lockpicking requires a delicate hand and extensive training. Or it requires a device that fires a steel rod at the lock, releases the cylinder, and sticks a fine metal rod in to open the lock. Much faster than normal lockpicking, a lockpick gun takes a matter of seconds to open a lock. It’s also quiet: a soft punch and click sound. A lockpick gun adds 4 dice to a Dexterity + Larceny roll to pick a lock." Text from the Hunter: The Reckoning Second Edition/5th Edition core book; it reads as follows: "While lockpick guns do exist, they’re generally available only to governmental agencies or distinct professionals, though enough Resources or Streetwise will probably do the trick. They may be approximated with the Improvised Gear Edge or as a Specialist Perk for the Drone Jockey Edge. Having one discovered on one’s person without reasonable credentials is also probably a great way to find oneself detained by authorities at the very least."
May 23, 2025 at 12:20 PM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
until i am
A text logo created with cooltext.com, which reads "pregnant" in all-caps, in a yellow shiny type, followed by "or as i like to say", in smaller, rounded type, in a gradient from orange to a more reddish orange, and "load bearing" in all lower case, in a rounded, glowing blue type.
May 23, 2025 at 9:54 AM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
like, seriously,
A text logo created with cooltext.com, which reads "i would love to be" in all lower case, in chrome letters, followed by "bred" in all-caps, in a rounded, glowing blue type, and "sloppy style", in a slimy-looking typeface, with a muted rainbow gradient.
May 23, 2025 at 9:54 AM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
some days, i *really* want to be
A text logo created with cooltext.com, which reads "plapped" in all-caps, in a rounded, glowing blue type, and underneath that, "from dusk till dawn", in all-caps, in a stencil-like typeface, colored in a gradient from red to orange, with a black outline.
May 23, 2025 at 9:54 AM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
A photo of my Kitten cosplay from GothCon XLVII, last year.
Didn't wear it this year, but next year, I will!

#HunterTheParenting #OgrePoppenang #GothCon #WorldOfDarkness
Cosplay photo, featuring Kitten from Hunter: The Parenting; a person wearing a Liberty or Cornflower blue hoodie with cat ears, a gray balaclava, orange ski goggles, and thick gray gloves.
May 19, 2025 at 9:55 AM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
Decided to repost some old artwork I did, which I was planning on using as cover art for a small TTRPG project I was working on, but kinda forgot about, due to depression and general life shit.

Not sure yet if I'll finish the project, but I like how the cover art turned out!
Digital painting of Ghost Face, as an anthropomorphic billy goat; he's wearing a black robe, and a white mask, similar to the iconic "Peanut-Eyed Ghost", but it looks like a Goat's Face, with floppy ears, a goat's nose and mouth, a small goat beard, and horns sticking through the hood of the robe. He's also holding a knife, which is dripping blood on the ground. Goat's Face is surrounded by a red aura. The image of Goat's Face, turned into what looks like a movie poster; the superimposed text reads "Cracked Mirror Productions presents...", followed by "Wes Raven's Bleat", with "Bleat" in all caps, and appearing to drip with blood, and lastly "a furry slasher hack by SimonTheVampyre".
May 19, 2025 at 8:09 AM
simonthevampyre.itch.io
Me, while creating a new OC:
Image of Baldwin, the leper king, in his white robe with gold embellishments, and his metal face mask, from 'Kingdom of Heaven', holding up his hand, while looking down at an off-screen letter. Text, above and below the image, reads: "Silence, Biology; Mpreg is Talking."
May 18, 2025 at 8:48 PM