Simone
@simoneybaloney.bsky.social
Disliker of products sweetened with Stevia. Loves her small, beautiful cat who has chronic diarrhea. Menopausal!
Pinned
Me when I blandly say good morning to a stranger on my walk and they stare at me like why the fuck are you talking to me: am I still in the Midwest? 🥺
April 30, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Me when I blandly say good morning to a stranger on my walk and they stare at me like why the fuck are you talking to me: am I still in the Midwest? 🥺
When you sneeze, and your cat gives you a dirty look like what the fuck is wrong with you
April 29, 2025 at 12:58 PM
When you sneeze, and your cat gives you a dirty look like what the fuck is wrong with you
What if scientists discover that human urine is a natural disinfectant for shower drains
April 29, 2025 at 12:43 PM
What if scientists discover that human urine is a natural disinfectant for shower drains
For some reason, I started singing “rock the Casbah” outside the bathroom door while my husband was going number two until he yelled shut up. But it was yelled jovially, I could tell.
April 5, 2025 at 2:41 PM
For some reason, I started singing “rock the Casbah” outside the bathroom door while my husband was going number two until he yelled shut up. But it was yelled jovially, I could tell.
Has anyone else noticed that the quality of book indexing has plummeted over the last 20 years? A lot of books simply don’t have them and for those that do, the indexes are not based on the principles of proper indexing, hence they are almost useless! SMH
April 5, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Has anyone else noticed that the quality of book indexing has plummeted over the last 20 years? A lot of books simply don’t have them and for those that do, the indexes are not based on the principles of proper indexing, hence they are almost useless! SMH
These deserve a deep dive by feminist sociologists. The euphemistic language. To whom is the “courtesy” offered?
#sociologists
#menstruation
#randomthoughts
#sociologists
#menstruation
#randomthoughts
March 30, 2025 at 3:48 PM
These deserve a deep dive by feminist sociologists. The euphemistic language. To whom is the “courtesy” offered?
#sociologists
#menstruation
#randomthoughts
#sociologists
#menstruation
#randomthoughts
Just because I support sex worker rights doesn’t mean I have to let my daughter go to school dressed like a prostitute, right?
Parenting is difficult and baffling
#parenting
Parenting is difficult and baffling
#parenting
March 28, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Just because I support sex worker rights doesn’t mean I have to let my daughter go to school dressed like a prostitute, right?
Parenting is difficult and baffling
#parenting
Parenting is difficult and baffling
#parenting
Does it make me a bad person to think DIE BITCH whenever I walk by a particular person’s house?
And to imagine the letters appearing one-by-one in gigantic 6 foot flames across the front of her two-story colonial?
I don’t really wish her any harm, it’s just letting off a little steam?
And to imagine the letters appearing one-by-one in gigantic 6 foot flames across the front of her two-story colonial?
I don’t really wish her any harm, it’s just letting off a little steam?
March 26, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Does it make me a bad person to think DIE BITCH whenever I walk by a particular person’s house?
And to imagine the letters appearing one-by-one in gigantic 6 foot flames across the front of her two-story colonial?
I don’t really wish her any harm, it’s just letting off a little steam?
And to imagine the letters appearing one-by-one in gigantic 6 foot flames across the front of her two-story colonial?
I don’t really wish her any harm, it’s just letting off a little steam?
Is it weird that I 💗 every text from the general contractor and his team
March 25, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Is it weird that I 💗 every text from the general contractor and his team
Neptune will be entering Aries, my fourth house. Appreciating this poetic shadow on my wall, drunk on visions of my home, to feel at home and escape
#astrology
#personalastrology
#astrology
#personalastrology
March 24, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Neptune will be entering Aries, my fourth house. Appreciating this poetic shadow on my wall, drunk on visions of my home, to feel at home and escape
#astrology
#personalastrology
#astrology
#personalastrology
MILF dessert: 4 prunes
March 24, 2025 at 12:35 AM
MILF dessert: 4 prunes
Despite the occasional torrential diarrhea, this cat is pure magic 💘
March 23, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Despite the occasional torrential diarrhea, this cat is pure magic 💘
The overwhelming nauseating chemical smell of scented corporate laundry detergent and fabric softener just blows my mind. People come over and leave, and it just hangs in the air for a few hours, it’s wild. No way that can be healthy
March 18, 2025 at 9:24 PM
The overwhelming nauseating chemical smell of scented corporate laundry detergent and fabric softener just blows my mind. People come over and leave, and it just hangs in the air for a few hours, it’s wild. No way that can be healthy
Rewatching Breaking Bad. Who else wants Tuco to make them a burrito?
March 18, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Rewatching Breaking Bad. Who else wants Tuco to make them a burrito?
Blog ideas:
🍳Sizzle & Sauté with Simone - a cooking blog
💩 Jaded & Constipated - a health blog about my menopause journey - couldn’t think of anything that rhymes with “vaginal lubrication”
#menopause
#blogs
#constipation
#wellness
🍳Sizzle & Sauté with Simone - a cooking blog
💩 Jaded & Constipated - a health blog about my menopause journey - couldn’t think of anything that rhymes with “vaginal lubrication”
#menopause
#blogs
#constipation
#wellness
March 13, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Blog ideas:
🍳Sizzle & Sauté with Simone - a cooking blog
💩 Jaded & Constipated - a health blog about my menopause journey - couldn’t think of anything that rhymes with “vaginal lubrication”
#menopause
#blogs
#constipation
#wellness
🍳Sizzle & Sauté with Simone - a cooking blog
💩 Jaded & Constipated - a health blog about my menopause journey - couldn’t think of anything that rhymes with “vaginal lubrication”
#menopause
#blogs
#constipation
#wellness
So, Stevia. It’s supposed to be great and I do appreciate the plant and its leaf. But products sweetened with it: my mouth gets all dried up and it tastes unpleasantly weird, like saccharine. I just don’t like stevia! Why is it so popular?
February 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
So, Stevia. It’s supposed to be great and I do appreciate the plant and its leaf. But products sweetened with it: my mouth gets all dried up and it tastes unpleasantly weird, like saccharine. I just don’t like stevia! Why is it so popular?
A version of Jolene but we’re fighting over our small town general contractor
February 25, 2025 at 7:53 PM
A version of Jolene but we’re fighting over our small town general contractor
Is it the disodium inosinate or could it be the disodium guanylate that makes chili cheese Fritos so delicious? All Frito Lay products have proprietary additives designed to create various sensations to keep us eating - “vanishing caloric density” - BUT there is something crazy in these or is it me
February 25, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Is it the disodium inosinate or could it be the disodium guanylate that makes chili cheese Fritos so delicious? All Frito Lay products have proprietary additives designed to create various sensations to keep us eating - “vanishing caloric density” - BUT there is something crazy in these or is it me
I have always loved chili cheese Fritos
February 23, 2025 at 10:48 PM
I have always loved chili cheese Fritos
When the ampheta/dextro combo kicks in and hope springs eternal 🌞⌚️✅📋🧠
February 23, 2025 at 3:30 PM
When the ampheta/dextro combo kicks in and hope springs eternal 🌞⌚️✅📋🧠
People who don’t want house cats : but how do you live without the elevated interior design aesthetics? I mean look at that fucking chair now
February 17, 2025 at 1:44 PM
People who don’t want house cats : but how do you live without the elevated interior design aesthetics? I mean look at that fucking chair now
“Breakfast on Bluesky” I just made that up. Oats with egg and spinach, cheese, hot sauce. Goddamn this is good! Should I start a cooking blog or are there already too many, yeah, nevermind. “Sizzle and Sauté with Simone” is pretty catchy tho
February 16, 2025 at 3:09 PM
“Breakfast on Bluesky” I just made that up. Oats with egg and spinach, cheese, hot sauce. Goddamn this is good! Should I start a cooking blog or are there already too many, yeah, nevermind. “Sizzle and Sauté with Simone” is pretty catchy tho
A few weeks ago I opened up to my husband about my misophonia, sharing that the sound of him chewing pretzels makes me want to rip his throat out. Now, whenever he eats something, he jokingly asks me if I want to rip his throat out. Yes. But obviously, he lives here and has a right to eat pretzels.
February 15, 2025 at 2:06 PM
A few weeks ago I opened up to my husband about my misophonia, sharing that the sound of him chewing pretzels makes me want to rip his throat out. Now, whenever he eats something, he jokingly asks me if I want to rip his throat out. Yes. But obviously, he lives here and has a right to eat pretzels.
The old camel toe versus muffin top decision matrix rears its head once again.
Now I’m remembering why I stopped wearing jeans.
Now I’m remembering why I stopped wearing jeans.
February 14, 2025 at 2:35 PM
The old camel toe versus muffin top decision matrix rears its head once again.
Now I’m remembering why I stopped wearing jeans.
Now I’m remembering why I stopped wearing jeans.
Me at 8:30 am with entire closet regurgitated over floor, bed, radiator “it’s not sparking joy.”
Leaves house once again in ancient, pilled black turtleneck.
Leaves house once again in ancient, pilled black turtleneck.
February 14, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Me at 8:30 am with entire closet regurgitated over floor, bed, radiator “it’s not sparking joy.”
Leaves house once again in ancient, pilled black turtleneck.
Leaves house once again in ancient, pilled black turtleneck.