Deconstructed or not it’s hard to find ways to recognise the space we take up because power and privilege is the water we’ve swum in.

It’s not to say the topic hasn’t covered brilliantly. But i think it’s telling that it’s not often covered by the men who benefited from it.
Can anyone point me in the direction where tis is being covered?

They’ve a message of love into a message of fear. They won’t relinquish power until they overcome that fear.

Masculinity is so many things, Zuckerberg, Rogan and Piper and others mentioned here have such a narrow understanding of it. I guess at least he’s being honest that he values aggression over accountability for what others feel. So we know who we’re dealing with.

I’ve making this analogy for a while now, and I’m worried it’s going to get worse in the next little while, when abusers escape accountability they become emboldened.

If it’s ok to ask, what for you are some of the signs of a coercive community? I ask because I’ve been training to identify men who have been coercive over last 6 months and often work with them in a counselling setting. I’m interested in what you see in the community/system space.

I’ve “checked out” Fortnite a few times. The best I got was 4th. A win is impressive.

You won a Fortnite battle on your first day?

These moments are a mirror. If you’re seeing the fires as judgment you’re probably seeing yourself and a god you created in your image.

Glad you weren’t a jerk or a cry baby and you’ve remained friends.

Sounds polite

Sometimes I wonder if the difference is, in the recovery space I’m accountable for my behaviour in the church space I’m accountable for your behaviour.

I think in my experience (admining multiple Facebook decon groups) I’d say most people use it as a catch all for any negative experiences they’ve had in a church. I’m interested though reading through the comments as to how we clearly define different experiences, particularly in regards to abuse

This shows how far from the experience of not just his average congregants but is volunteer leaders he is. I know for a long time when I was a pastor I didn’t get it, but what a relief it must be for people who just did Christmas services not to have to back up again 4 days later.

I’m not sure if I can agree after Civil War

Coercive control perpetrated against whole communities, and churches that are like an abusive husband that holds no accountability.

Tell me it’s not perfect though. Almost 20 years later and I can still hear that music.