Hmm

I don’t care if it’s a superfund site, I was born to swim in that river and no one can stop me

you know what? my dog was right — I think it’s normal to be a little afraid of thunder actually.

code switching (dyke/faggot)

enduring my perpetual and unending punishment (admitting that my gf is funnier than me)

It’s not a Ted shack, it’s a Ted vacation home

help I’ve become addicted to energy drinks and my kidneys are starting to hurt

people care about the met gala here, where am I and what have I done

currently making the latest mistake in my vast string of mistakes online by joining you all here when I could be throwing my phone in a river instead <3 we’re going to have fun love you mwah