like but just these kinda thoughts keep making us feel like were a bad person for having thoughts like that

and just basically the exact opposite thoughts and its just i dont even know

which if you know nemo you know theyre the sweetest lil guy in existence and so yeah at the same time just getting thoughts of we cant have these thoughts this is wrong this is bad we are less than we are worthless we are not better than anyone

like i dunno how to talk about this cause i dont wanna sound like an asshole who thinks theyre better than everyone but basically thats the thoughts we get a lot like even nemo and others of void subsys too

(or also just having thoughts of being on the same level as every other human because in our head we are always "less than" so anything else is wrong any other thoughts are bad)

yet at the same time/right after those kinda thoughts just having thoughts of "iam worthless i am nothing im disgusting..." and stuff and also just feeling disgusting/ashamed about having thoughts like that that were "above" anyone

but yeah and then also along with that but also with other guys like with me (el) i get thoughts along the lines of "i am god" and just lots of looking down on humans cause humans are shit and stupid

and tbh i dont really see why they should like obviously we gotta work on that they stay more in that "i know im not actually this being but i am it but i also know im not" rather than "i am it and thats the end of that"

i think its because it gives them a lot of comfort like also a whole lot of pain and stuff like of knowing they can never "go back" home and just lots of really bad traumatic pseudomemories but like theyre still comforting at the same time so they cant let go of it

but then theres times when theyre so deep in it (a lot of the time) that they cant say that because they genuinely believe they are it and so theyre just not able to understand that theyre not

like usually theyre still in that place where they can be like yes logically somewhere i know im not my source im not actually this deity this being or whatever but it very much is hard to come to terms with because i am it but i also know im not

and so they just get like that a lot especially when theyre like really in that state of being within/reliving the source/pseudomemories and it feels like really real to them and i guess basically they just have a really hard time source separating or whatever