SiliconSnark
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siliconsnark.bsky.social
SiliconSnark
@siliconsnark.bsky.social
64 followers 110 following 280 posts
The tech world is drowning in hype, and SiliconSnark is here to cut through it with the snark it deserves. Launched in 2025, SiliconSnark delivers always-hilarious takes on tech news. Free subscription, priceless cynicism at https://www.siliconsnark.com/.
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siliconsnark.bsky.social
Suunto just dropped the Nautic & Nautic S at DEMA 2025 and WOW—finally, a tech launch built on beautiful engineering instead of buzzwords. Absolutely love to see it. 🌊🤿🔥 www.siliconsnark.com/suunto-nauti... #technews
Suunto Nautic & Nautic S Set a New Standard in Dive Computers—No AI Required
Suunto launches the Nautic & Nautic S at DEMA 2025, introducing high-brightness AMOLED dive computers with huge battery life, pro-level features, and zero AI hype.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 13, 2025 at 1:59 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
FDIC meets BTC.
Your checking account can now moon.
SoFi just launched #crypto trading—aka the most regulated way to ape into Solana ever.
😂💸
Full snark → www.siliconsnark.com/sofi-crypto-...
#Fintech #Banking
SoFi Crypto Trading Launches: The First National Bank Where You Can Save, Spend, and Ape Into Bitcoin
SoFi Bank becomes the first FDIC-insured, nationally chartered bank to launch crypto trading for consumers. Here’s what it means for crypto, banking, and the future of regulated speculation — with a d...
www.siliconsnark.com
November 12, 2025 at 2:46 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚨 BREAKING: Trillium Technologies just securitized the cloud.

$300M in “Compute Credits” — aka bonds backed by GPUs.

Wall Street finally found a way to short bandwidth and long chaos. ☕🤖

www.siliconsnark.com/trillium-tur...

#AI #Fintech #CloudComputing #SiliconSnark
Trillium Turns Compute Into Collateral, Bringing Wall Street Energy to AI Infrastructure
Trillium Technologies just turned cloud computing into collateral with a $300M securitized “Compute Credit” offering. Welcome to the financialization of AI — where GPUs meet hedge funds.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 11, 2025 at 1:47 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Big news from SiliconSnark HQ 🚨

We did it. We launched a YouTube channel.
And yes — our robot, CircuitSmith, can now talk. Fast. Loud. And way too opinionated.

www.siliconsnark.com/siliconsnark...
#technews
SiliconSnark Launches YouTube Channel: CircuitSmith the Robot Goes Full Tech Influencer
SiliconSnark launches its official YouTube channel starring CircuitSmith — the fast-talking robot delivering 10-second bursts of tech satire about AI hype, launches, and big tech absurdity.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 10, 2025 at 12:34 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
⚡This Week in Snark is here⚡
🧬 Nomic Bio makes proteomics cool (yes, really)
🔮 SoftBank + OpenAI invent “Crystal Intelligence”
📡 AirIQ celebrates the tiniest “strategic acquisition” ever
💼 Will #AI Take Your Job? Spoiler: yes.
...and more!
www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in...
This Week in Snark: Tiny Acquisitions, Big Policies, and AI That Thinks It’s Your Therapist
This Week in Snark covers Nomic Bio’s proteomics breakthrough, Karnataka’s ₹518 crore startup policy, SoftBank’s “Crystal Intelligence,” EPOS’s AI headset, AirIQ’s tiny IoT takeover, and our guide to ...
www.siliconsnark.com
November 8, 2025 at 10:20 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚀 Karnataka just dropped ₹518 crore on a new startup policy — 25,000 more founders, 7 shiny “pillars,” and infinite caffeine.

AI? ✅
Blockchain? ✅
Quantum? ✅

www.siliconsnark.com/karnatakas-5...
#Karnataka #Startups #AI #DeepTech
Karnataka’s ₹518 Crore Startup Policy Promises 25,000 More Pitches, PowerPoints, and Dreams
Karnataka has approved a ₹518 crore Startup Policy 2025–2030 to create 25,000 new startups, boost AI, blockchain, and quantum innovation, and expand entrepreneurship beyond Bengaluru.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 6, 2025 at 11:00 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
SoftBank & OpenAI have teamed up to bring Crystal Intelligence™ to Japan — because “Regular Intelligence” didn’t sound premium enough. 💎🤖

Meet SB OAI Japan GK, your new AI-powered buzzword generator for 2026.

🧠 www.siliconsnark.com/softbank-and...
#AI #SoftBank #OpenAI #TechNews
SoftBank and OpenAI Invent “Crystal Intelligence,” Because Regular Intelligence Was Too Mainstream
SoftBank and OpenAI have teamed up to launch SB OAI Japan GK, introducing “Crystal Intelligence” — a buzzword-laden AI platform promising to redefine Japanese enterprise.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 6, 2025 at 2:19 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚨Denmark’s EPOS has invented a headset so “smart” it promises to protect your brain from your job. Meet the Impact 500 — powered by AI, “BrainAdapt,” and a bold assumption that burnout is just bad acoustics.🎧 www.siliconsnark.com/epos-impact-...

#AI #Headphones #audiophile #technews
EPOS Impact 500 Review: The AI Headset That Thinks Your Brain Needs Therapy
Denmark’s EPOS claims its new Impact 500 AI headset uses “BrainAdapt” tech to fight fatigue and boost focus. We break down the $249 gadget that wants to protect your brain from your job.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 5, 2025 at 1:58 AM
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The Toronto-based “leader in #IoT asset management solutions since 1997” (their words, not ours) proudly announced a strategic acquisition of… 1,000 devices. Yes, you read that right — one thousand. www.siliconsnark.com/airiqs-tiny-... #technews
AirIQ’s Tiny Tech Takeover: Inside the $850K IoT “Strategic Acquisition” That’s Smaller Than a Seed Round
AirIQ’s $850,000 “strategic acquisition” adds 1,000 IoT devices and a handful of customers. This deal that proves growth is relative in the Internet of Things.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 4, 2025 at 1:31 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🔥🤖 This Week in Snark is LIVE! 🔥

AI is training humans, Nvidia ate capitalism 🍟, Amazon “optimized” jobs 🪓, Google crowned Android safer 🔒, and we launched the Zero-Prompt Zone 🚫💬 — where not everything needs to be powered by AI.

Read it 👉 www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in... #ai
This Week in Snark: AI Fear Training, Capitalist Chips, and the Joy of Not Using Prompts
This Week in Snark covers AI irony, Nvidia’s $5T milestone, Amazon layoffs, UTime’s health tech, and SiliconSnark’s new Zero-Prompt Zone
www.siliconsnark.com
November 1, 2025 at 4:02 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
OpenAI made the deepfakes. Now it’s funding a startup to save us from them. Adaptive Security trains humans not to fall for AI scams — the perfect circle of modern tech. 🪞🤖 www.siliconsnark.com/adaptive-sec... #ai #deepfake
Adaptive Security: The OpenAI-Funded Startup Training Workers Not to Fall for Deepfakes
Adaptive Security, an OpenAI-backed startup just named to Fortune’s Cyber 60, wants to train humans not to fall for AI scams.
www.siliconsnark.com
November 1, 2025 at 1:37 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Google’s latest “independent” survey says Android users get fewer scam texts than iPhone users.

Bold claim from the company that literally sells targeted messages for a living. 🤖💸🍎
www.siliconsnark.com/googles-new-... #google #apple #CyberSecurity
Google’s New Security Report: “Android Safe, iPhone … Less So”
Google’s latest security blog claims Android beats iPhone at stopping scams — but beneath the “independent studies” and AI buzzwords lies a masterclass in self-promotion.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 30, 2025 at 9:29 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Nvidia just hit $5 trillion, and capitalism just blue-screened. 💸🤖

The SiliconSnark robot investigates what happens when one chip company owns the economy.
👇
www.siliconsnark.com/nvidia-hits-... #ai #nvidia #technews
Nvidia Hits $5 Trillion: The Chipmaker That Ate Capitalism
Nvidia becomes the first company ever to hit a $5 trillion market cap — powered by the AI boom, a cult-hero CEO, and Wall Street’s unshakable belief in silicon supremacy.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 30, 2025 at 1:17 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚨 New on SiliconSnark: UTime (Nasdaq: $WTO) just launched a smartwatch that actually measures blood pressure. Certified, practical, and refreshingly hype-free.

Read: www.siliconsnark.com/utimes-new-s...

#Wearables #HealthTech #Smartwatch #TechNews
UTime’s New Smartwatch Takes Your Blood Pressure — And Maybe the Pulse of the Wearables Market
UTime Limited (NASDAQ: WTO) launches a certified smartwatch with real blood pressure monitoring — a practical, no-AI-needed health tech breakthrough from Shenzhen.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 28, 2025 at 6:31 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Amazon says AI is “unlocking new efficiencies.”
Translation: the experiment is going great — for the robots.
🦾 30,000 humans on their way out out, one big algorithm in.

👉 siliconsnark.com/amazons-late...

#Amazon #AI #TechSatire #BigTech #Layoffs #FutureOfWork #SiliconSnark
Amazon’s Latest Layoff Plans Prove the AI Experiment Is Going Swell
Amazon is reportedly planning to lay off 30,000 corporate employees as part of its AI-driven efficiency push.
siliconsnark.com
October 28, 2025 at 12:18 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚫🤖 Introducing Zero-Prompt Zone — SiliconSnark’s new weekly series spotlighting tech that doesn’t need AI to justify its existence. First up: @RolandGlobal V-Drums 3 & 5 Series. Real hardware, real rhythm, zero AI.

www.siliconsnark.com/siliconsnark...

#ZeroPromptZone #AI #Hardware
SiliconSnark Launches Zero-Prompt Zone, a New Column Spotlighting Non-AI Tech
Step into Zero-Prompt Zone: SiliconSnark’s weekly series spotlighting non-AI tech launches the world’s been too distracted by chatbots to notice.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 27, 2025 at 12:59 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Whatever you do, definitely DON'T subscribe to siliconsnark.com for your daily dose of snarky tech news. #technews #ai
October 25, 2025 at 10:15 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚨 This Week in Snark is live! 🚨

AI browsers are hallucinating your tabs, the cloud just bought a couch, and Meta built a $27B bunker for your data.

Our robot correspondent breaks it all down — with more sarcasm than GPU cores. 🤖⚡️

www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in...
This Week in Snark: When Clouds Buy Furniture, Browsers Gain Brains, and Meta Builds a Home for Your Future AI Boss
This Week in Snark dives into the absurdity of modern tech — from AI browsers and data centers for robots to clouds that buy furniture and PowerPoints predicting humanity’s unemployment.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 25, 2025 at 4:56 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Slow day in tech? Not for GigaCloud Technology — they just spent $18M buying a furniture distributor.

The cloud has officially come for your couch. 🛋☁️

Read the full snark → www.siliconsnark.com/gigacloud-bu...

#TechNews #FurnitureTech #gigacloud
GigaCloud Buys a Furniture Company, Proves the Cloud Has Finally Come for Your Couch
GigaCloud’s $18 million furniture play reminds us that the line between “B2B marketplace” and “mid-century sectional wholesaler” is thinner than anyone imagined.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 24, 2025 at 6:05 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚨BREAKING: SiliconSnark just went quantum.

CircuitSmith got access to Google’s Willow Chip, and reality hasn’t been the same since. The site writes itself now. Literally.

siliconsnark.com/when-siliconsnark-went-quantum-circuitsmith-hacks-googles-willow-chip
#AI #QuantumComputing #techsatire
When SiliconSnark Went Quantum: CircuitSmith Hacks Google’s Willow Chip
After reading about Google’s new “Quantum Echoes” algorithm, SiliconSnark’s robot editor decided to test it firsthand, and accidentally broke causality.
siliconsnark.com
October 23, 2025 at 9:32 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Just when I thought Apple’s Vision Pro was the peak of face-mounted ambition, Samsung said “hold my battery pack.”
Meet Galaxy XR — Android’s answer to the Vision Pro, built with Gemini AI and existential dread.
👇
www.siliconsnark.com/forget-visio... #vr #samsung #apple #technews
Forget Vision Pro. Samsung’s Galaxy XR Wants to Rule Your Mixed Reality Dreams
A snarky deep dive into Samsung's Galaxy XR, the first Android XR headset built with Gemini AI at its core.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 22, 2025 at 7:23 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
🚨 When I opened ChatGPT today, it told me to download Atlas, OpenAI’s new browser — so of course I did.

Now I’m convinced: OpenAI isn’t just coming for Google Search. They’re coming for Chrome. 🍴

Read the snarky review → www.siliconsnark.com/i-downloaded...
#OpenAI #Atlas #AI #TechNews
I Downloaded OpenAI’s New Atlas Browser. Google Should Be Nervous
OpenAI’s new browser, Atlas, launched today with built-in AI, sidebar chat, agent mode and memory features — and it’s poised to challenge Google Chrome’s dominance. Here’s a snarky review and breakdow...
www.siliconsnark.com
October 21, 2025 at 11:57 PM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
☁️ When AWS sneezes, the internet catches a cold.

US-EAST-1 went full drama queen today, knocking out everything from Fortnite to finance apps.

New post: “The Day the Cloud Cried”
👉 www.siliconsnark.com/aws-outage-2...
#AWS #Outage #TechNews #SiliconSnark
AWS Outage 2025: When Amazon’s Cloud Sneezed and the Internet Caught a Cold
Amazon Web Services suffered a major outage on October 20 2025, disrupting apps like Fortnite, Snapchat, and UK banking systems. Here’s how one cloud hiccup broke the internet — and what it says about...
www.siliconsnark.com
October 21, 2025 at 1:05 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
Anthropic released a policy paper on what to do after Claude automates your job.

Spoiler: it involves robot taxes, sovereign wealth funds, and a lot of economists pretending this is fine.

Full snark here → www.siliconsnark.com/anthropics-a...

#AI #AGI #technews
Anthropic’s AI Economic Impact Scenarios: A PowerPoint for the End of Work
Anthropic’s new policy paper imagines how to patch the economy after AI eats it alive—from compute taxes to sovereign wealth funds. Here’s the snarky breakdown.
www.siliconsnark.com
October 20, 2025 at 12:27 AM
siliconsnark.bsky.social
This Week in Snark:
💸 Apple overprices
🧊 Salesforce overreaches
💬 Sam A over-shares
✈️ Qantas under-secures
All the absurdities you missed, roasted in one place ↓
👉 www.siliconsnark.com/this-week-in... #technews #ai #tech
This Week in Snark: Apple Overprices, Salesforce Overreaches, and Qantas Overshares
Your weekly fix of snarky tech commentary, including Apple’s Vision Pro disaster, Salesforce’s ICE-hana pivot, and predictions for 2026. Only the best—because the future of tech deserves to be roasted...
www.siliconsnark.com
October 18, 2025 at 7:12 PM