Shrink4Men - Dr. Tara Palmatier
@shrink4men.bsky.social
Helping men in relationships with abusive women since 2009. Clinical Psychologist, egalitarian, INTJ, carnivore.
This is the time of year when high-conflict partners become extra unhinged.
Are you ready?
Boundary up, buttercup!
Are you ready?
Boundary up, buttercup!
December 2, 2025 at 4:16 PM
This is the time of year when high-conflict partners become extra unhinged.
Are you ready?
Boundary up, buttercup!
Are you ready?
Boundary up, buttercup!
How it started / how it’s going…
Some people never make it past the Christmas-screaming-toddler stage of emotional development, if you know what I mean.
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
Some people never make it past the Christmas-screaming-toddler stage of emotional development, if you know what I mean.
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
December 1, 2025 at 4:58 PM
How it started / how it’s going…
Some people never make it past the Christmas-screaming-toddler stage of emotional development, if you know what I mean.
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
Some people never make it past the Christmas-screaming-toddler stage of emotional development, if you know what I mean.
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
May the only anal cavity at your table be the turkey’s — not Uncle Ranty or Auntie Grievance List.
IYKYK.
Happy Thanksgiving, and may your day be blissfully drama-free.
IYKYK.
Happy Thanksgiving, and may your day be blissfully drama-free.
November 26, 2025 at 3:50 PM
May the only anal cavity at your table be the turkey’s — not Uncle Ranty or Auntie Grievance List.
IYKYK.
Happy Thanksgiving, and may your day be blissfully drama-free.
IYKYK.
Happy Thanksgiving, and may your day be blissfully drama-free.
When your wife’s DBT therapist tells you to “radically accept” her abuse…
Tell her you’ve already achieved enlightenment — it’s called having boundaries.
Radical Acceptance wasn’t meant for you to accept their bullshit.
It was meant for them to stop creating it.
#Help4Men #BPD
Tell her you’ve already achieved enlightenment — it’s called having boundaries.
Radical Acceptance wasn’t meant for you to accept their bullshit.
It was meant for them to stop creating it.
#Help4Men #BPD
November 3, 2025 at 7:40 PM
“Empath tattoo — Run, Forrest, Run!”
Sometimes they come with warning labels.
I'd pay attention to that if I were you.
#Shrink4Men #Help4Men #empathlife #EmpathEnergy #empath #BPD #NPD #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #narcissist
Sometimes they come with warning labels.
I'd pay attention to that if I were you.
#Shrink4Men #Help4Men #empathlife #EmpathEnergy #empath #BPD #NPD #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #narcissist
October 30, 2025 at 3:31 PM
“Empath tattoo — Run, Forrest, Run!”
Sometimes they come with warning labels.
I'd pay attention to that if I were you.
#Shrink4Men #Help4Men #empathlife #EmpathEnergy #empath #BPD #NPD #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #narcissist
Sometimes they come with warning labels.
I'd pay attention to that if I were you.
#Shrink4Men #Help4Men #empathlife #EmpathEnergy #empath #BPD #NPD #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #narcissist
W
T
A
F
?
I want out.
T
A
F
?
I want out.
October 16, 2025 at 6:23 AM
W
T
A
F
?
I want out.
T
A
F
?
I want out.
He says: “I don’t need a woman! I’ve got UberEats, porn & the boys.”
You laugh.
She says: “I don’t need a man! I’ve got wine, a dog & my own money.”
You clap.
But let’s be honest. It’s the same narcissism in different packaging.
🚩 #RedFlag
#DoNotDate
You laugh.
She says: “I don’t need a man! I’ve got wine, a dog & my own money.”
You clap.
But let’s be honest. It’s the same narcissism in different packaging.
🚩 #RedFlag
#DoNotDate
August 5, 2025 at 3:45 PM
He says: “I don’t need a woman! I’ve got UberEats, porn & the boys.”
You laugh.
She says: “I don’t need a man! I’ve got wine, a dog & my own money.”
You clap.
But let’s be honest. It’s the same narcissism in different packaging.
🚩 #RedFlag
#DoNotDate
You laugh.
She says: “I don’t need a man! I’ve got wine, a dog & my own money.”
You clap.
But let’s be honest. It’s the same narcissism in different packaging.
🚩 #RedFlag
#DoNotDate
Embroider this on a throw pillow in your Man Cave:
If a woman says yes to a second date, she’s probably interested in you. If a woman is ready to move in with you by the second date, she’s probably nuts.©
The More You Know!
#RedFlags #DatingAdviceForMen
If a woman says yes to a second date, she’s probably interested in you. If a woman is ready to move in with you by the second date, she’s probably nuts.©
The More You Know!
#RedFlags #DatingAdviceForMen
July 23, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Embroider this on a throw pillow in your Man Cave:
If a woman says yes to a second date, she’s probably interested in you. If a woman is ready to move in with you by the second date, she’s probably nuts.©
The More You Know!
#RedFlags #DatingAdviceForMen
If a woman says yes to a second date, she’s probably interested in you. If a woman is ready to move in with you by the second date, she’s probably nuts.©
The More You Know!
#RedFlags #DatingAdviceForMen
Your BPD-NPD wife accuses you of cheating. You prove you’re not.
She gets more upset because you didn’t validate her feelings.
Can't you see why she feels you're a duplicitous scumbag?!
[Yes, I understand you haven't done what she's accused you of. In BPD-Land it matters not.] /1
She gets more upset because you didn’t validate her feelings.
Can't you see why she feels you're a duplicitous scumbag?!
[Yes, I understand you haven't done what she's accused you of. In BPD-Land it matters not.] /1
July 18, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Your BPD-NPD wife accuses you of cheating. You prove you’re not.
She gets more upset because you didn’t validate her feelings.
Can't you see why she feels you're a duplicitous scumbag?!
[Yes, I understand you haven't done what she's accused you of. In BPD-Land it matters not.] /1
She gets more upset because you didn’t validate her feelings.
Can't you see why she feels you're a duplicitous scumbag?!
[Yes, I understand you haven't done what she's accused you of. In BPD-Land it matters not.] /1
Verified.
July 12, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Verified.
Toxic ex shows up in court with lies, smears, and ego fluffing.
You show up with emails, tax returns, and receipts.
Guess who gets called “controlling”?
Narcissists don’t argue facts.
And they experience facts as attacks.
#Shrink4Men #FactsAreNotAbuse #FamilyCourt #TheMoreYouKnow
You show up with emails, tax returns, and receipts.
Guess who gets called “controlling”?
Narcissists don’t argue facts.
And they experience facts as attacks.
#Shrink4Men #FactsAreNotAbuse #FamilyCourt #TheMoreYouKnow
June 20, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Toxic ex shows up in court with lies, smears, and ego fluffing.
You show up with emails, tax returns, and receipts.
Guess who gets called “controlling”?
Narcissists don’t argue facts.
And they experience facts as attacks.
#Shrink4Men #FactsAreNotAbuse #FamilyCourt #TheMoreYouKnow
You show up with emails, tax returns, and receipts.
Guess who gets called “controlling”?
Narcissists don’t argue facts.
And they experience facts as attacks.
#Shrink4Men #FactsAreNotAbuse #FamilyCourt #TheMoreYouKnow
If a narcissist narcissists (or a borderline borderlines) in the forest and no one’s around to hear it…
Do they make a sound?
Who cares?!
You're not there to hear it.
Become one with the No Contact.
Namaste 😈
#Shrink4Men #NoContact #ClusterBFree #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Help4Men
Do they make a sound?
Who cares?!
You're not there to hear it.
Become one with the No Contact.
Namaste 😈
#Shrink4Men #NoContact #ClusterBFree #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Help4Men
June 19, 2025 at 3:34 PM
If a narcissist narcissists (or a borderline borderlines) in the forest and no one’s around to hear it…
Do they make a sound?
Who cares?!
You're not there to hear it.
Become one with the No Contact.
Namaste 😈
#Shrink4Men #NoContact #ClusterBFree #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Help4Men
Do they make a sound?
Who cares?!
You're not there to hear it.
Become one with the No Contact.
Namaste 😈
#Shrink4Men #NoContact #ClusterBFree #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Help4Men
Ever give up your entire life to “keep the peace”—before there was even a fight?
She didn’t have to tell you to quit game night, cancel the gym, or ghost your family.
You already knew:
Resistance = Punishment
Being yourself = Losing love
#Help4Men #EmotionalAbuseRecovery
She didn’t have to tell you to quit game night, cancel the gym, or ghost your family.
You already knew:
Resistance = Punishment
Being yourself = Losing love
#Help4Men #EmotionalAbuseRecovery
June 16, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Ever give up your entire life to “keep the peace”—before there was even a fight?
She didn’t have to tell you to quit game night, cancel the gym, or ghost your family.
You already knew:
Resistance = Punishment
Being yourself = Losing love
#Help4Men #EmotionalAbuseRecovery
She didn’t have to tell you to quit game night, cancel the gym, or ghost your family.
You already knew:
Resistance = Punishment
Being yourself = Losing love
#Help4Men #EmotionalAbuseRecovery
Happy Father’s Day!
To all the dads showing up, even when they’re shut out, smeared, or silenced, you matter.
Extra virtual hugs today to the fathers fighting alienation. Your pain is real, and you're not alone.
To all the dads showing up, even when they’re shut out, smeared, or silenced, you matter.
Extra virtual hugs today to the fathers fighting alienation. Your pain is real, and you're not alone.
June 15, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Happy Father’s Day!
To all the dads showing up, even when they’re shut out, smeared, or silenced, you matter.
Extra virtual hugs today to the fathers fighting alienation. Your pain is real, and you're not alone.
To all the dads showing up, even when they’re shut out, smeared, or silenced, you matter.
Extra virtual hugs today to the fathers fighting alienation. Your pain is real, and you're not alone.
They didn’t gaslight you the whole time.
At some point, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 started doing it 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
Narcissists & borderlines train you to lie to 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 —
So you’ll justify staying.
And it's another way they get you to do the work for them.
#narcissist #gaslighting #BPD #NPD #conartists
At some point, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 started doing it 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
Narcissists & borderlines train you to lie to 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 —
So you’ll justify staying.
And it's another way they get you to do the work for them.
#narcissist #gaslighting #BPD #NPD #conartists
April 2, 2025 at 5:19 PM
They didn’t gaslight you the whole time.
At some point, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 started doing it 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
Narcissists & borderlines train you to lie to 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 —
So you’ll justify staying.
And it's another way they get you to do the work for them.
#narcissist #gaslighting #BPD #NPD #conartists
At some point, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 started doing it 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.
Narcissists & borderlines train you to lie to 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 —
So you’ll justify staying.
And it's another way they get you to do the work for them.
#narcissist #gaslighting #BPD #NPD #conartists
Your ex might be an asshole...
If they get off on petty custody games like "accidentally" never returning the kids' clothes, toys, and school or sports gear—until it's outgrown, trashed, or useless—just to waste your time, money, and sanity.
Relatable?
If they get off on petty custody games like "accidentally" never returning the kids' clothes, toys, and school or sports gear—until it's outgrown, trashed, or useless—just to waste your time, money, and sanity.
Relatable?
March 18, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Your ex might be an asshole...
If they get off on petty custody games like "accidentally" never returning the kids' clothes, toys, and school or sports gear—until it's outgrown, trashed, or useless—just to waste your time, money, and sanity.
Relatable?
If they get off on petty custody games like "accidentally" never returning the kids' clothes, toys, and school or sports gear—until it's outgrown, trashed, or useless—just to waste your time, money, and sanity.
Relatable?
Narcissists and social media—it’s Scarface, but with mountains of Likes instead of cocaine.
They endlessly chase their next ego bump, snorting lines of validation, and getting high on their own supply—of attention.
Just Say Hell No.
#JustSayHellNo #Narcissists #SocialMediaAddiction #Shrink4Men
They endlessly chase their next ego bump, snorting lines of validation, and getting high on their own supply—of attention.
Just Say Hell No.
#JustSayHellNo #Narcissists #SocialMediaAddiction #Shrink4Men
March 6, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Narcissists and social media—it’s Scarface, but with mountains of Likes instead of cocaine.
They endlessly chase their next ego bump, snorting lines of validation, and getting high on their own supply—of attention.
Just Say Hell No.
#JustSayHellNo #Narcissists #SocialMediaAddiction #Shrink4Men
They endlessly chase their next ego bump, snorting lines of validation, and getting high on their own supply—of attention.
Just Say Hell No.
#JustSayHellNo #Narcissists #SocialMediaAddiction #Shrink4Men
Community Note: They're all the same version. Happy Friday!
*BPD / NPD isn’t a tumor you can excise and then return to LoveBomb Land. The "nice" version and the raging version are the same person—just in different regulation states and manipulation modes (i.e., carrot or stick).
*BPD / NPD isn’t a tumor you can excise and then return to LoveBomb Land. The "nice" version and the raging version are the same person—just in different regulation states and manipulation modes (i.e., carrot or stick).
February 21, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Community Note: They're all the same version. Happy Friday!
*BPD / NPD isn’t a tumor you can excise and then return to LoveBomb Land. The "nice" version and the raging version are the same person—just in different regulation states and manipulation modes (i.e., carrot or stick).
*BPD / NPD isn’t a tumor you can excise and then return to LoveBomb Land. The "nice" version and the raging version are the same person—just in different regulation states and manipulation modes (i.e., carrot or stick).
When you care enough to send the very best...
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day!
February 14, 2025 at 3:31 PM
When you care enough to send the very best...
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day!
February 14, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Happy Valentine's Day!
"My ex is dragging out the divorce!!!"
Translation: He wants 50/50 custody, a fair split of assets & debt, and a sane custody schedule—while she wants sole custody, 75% of the assets, 0% of the debt, max support, and to never work. 🤡
But sure… he’s the unreasonable one.
Translation: He wants 50/50 custody, a fair split of assets & debt, and a sane custody schedule—while she wants sole custody, 75% of the assets, 0% of the debt, max support, and to never work. 🤡
But sure… he’s the unreasonable one.
February 13, 2025 at 9:29 PM
"My ex is dragging out the divorce!!!"
Translation: He wants 50/50 custody, a fair split of assets & debt, and a sane custody schedule—while she wants sole custody, 75% of the assets, 0% of the debt, max support, and to never work. 🤡
But sure… he’s the unreasonable one.
Translation: He wants 50/50 custody, a fair split of assets & debt, and a sane custody schedule—while she wants sole custody, 75% of the assets, 0% of the debt, max support, and to never work. 🤡
But sure… he’s the unreasonable one.
Why DBT Fails in BPD Relationships
DBT is the “gold standard” for treating BPD… or so they say.
But if it’s so effective, why are so many partners still walking on eggshells? Why do so many DBT-trained BPD individuals still spiral, rage, cheat, and blame their partners?
Article link in 2nd reply.
DBT is the “gold standard” for treating BPD… or so they say.
But if it’s so effective, why are so many partners still walking on eggshells? Why do so many DBT-trained BPD individuals still spiral, rage, cheat, and blame their partners?
Article link in 2nd reply.
February 9, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Why DBT Fails in BPD Relationships
DBT is the “gold standard” for treating BPD… or so they say.
But if it’s so effective, why are so many partners still walking on eggshells? Why do so many DBT-trained BPD individuals still spiral, rage, cheat, and blame their partners?
Article link in 2nd reply.
DBT is the “gold standard” for treating BPD… or so they say.
But if it’s so effective, why are so many partners still walking on eggshells? Why do so many DBT-trained BPD individuals still spiral, rage, cheat, and blame their partners?
Article link in 2nd reply.
Beware of the Valentine's Day Hoover. It still sucks.
February 4, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Beware of the Valentine's Day Hoover. It still sucks.
So exhausting.
January 29, 2025 at 1:03 AM
So exhausting.