Tyler Jensen
@shivermetyler.bsky.social
I think imperfections in handmade things are beautiful, and I like jokes about people filling their pants with feces by mistake.
If Timothée Chalamet walked on stage with bloody toes as a ballerina
I’d still probably hate him
I’d still probably hate him
June 18, 2025 at 4:18 AM
If Timothée Chalamet walked on stage with bloody toes as a ballerina
I’d still probably hate him
I’d still probably hate him
Everyone looks hot eating a cupcake
April 17, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Everyone looks hot eating a cupcake
Quick question, what makes people happy, asking for a friend
April 17, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Quick question, what makes people happy, asking for a friend
Banana jacket > Banana peel
March 29, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Banana jacket > Banana peel
Best time to swim, but it’s in piss
March 27, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Best time to swim, but it’s in piss
Erin go bragh
Greenman tradition🍀
(Home before dark)
Greenman tradition🍀
(Home before dark)
March 17, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Erin go bragh
Greenman tradition🍀
(Home before dark)
Greenman tradition🍀
(Home before dark)
Being alone makes me happy, but feeling alone makes me sad.
March 16, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Being alone makes me happy, but feeling alone makes me sad.
Had a rough morning experiencing some of beer’s famous side effects.
March 3, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Had a rough morning experiencing some of beer’s famous side effects.
I bet the weed is fire in hell but literally
March 3, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I bet the weed is fire in hell but literally
Finally watching for the first time and the hype is real. Can’t turn it off.
March 2, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Finally watching for the first time and the hype is real. Can’t turn it off.
Drag your tongue down my neck and taste my pulse
March 2, 2025 at 6:16 AM
Drag your tongue down my neck and taste my pulse
Bad girls wear flip flops because they spank them as they walk
February 26, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Bad girls wear flip flops because they spank them as they walk
Finally warm enough to ride!
February 24, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Finally warm enough to ride!
Me: You know how you talk to god but he doesn’t talk to you?
Little sis: Yea
Me: He talks to everyone else though...
Little sis: Yea
Me: He talks to everyone else though...
February 24, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Me: You know how you talk to god but he doesn’t talk to you?
Little sis: Yea
Me: He talks to everyone else though...
Little sis: Yea
Me: He talks to everyone else though...
Cheer up your friends and family by blowing raspberries on their tummy.
February 24, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Cheer up your friends and family by blowing raspberries on their tummy.
My favorite color is all of these
February 23, 2025 at 6:16 AM
My favorite color is all of these
Whenever I’m feeling down, I just imagine Sean Connery ordering salsa in a restaurant.
February 23, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Whenever I’m feeling down, I just imagine Sean Connery ordering salsa in a restaurant.
My kink is watching you eat corn on the cob
February 23, 2025 at 5:25 AM
My kink is watching you eat corn on the cob
My whole adult life so far has been me knowing I should stretch before doing certain things and still not doing it
February 22, 2025 at 8:43 PM
My whole adult life so far has been me knowing I should stretch before doing certain things and still not doing it
Who wants to play, “Drink the Beer”
February 22, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Who wants to play, “Drink the Beer”
Monica Lewinsky has a podcast..?
February 22, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Monica Lewinsky has a podcast..?
“I pledge allegiance to… Liberty and Justice for all.”
February 22, 2025 at 6:53 AM
“I pledge allegiance to… Liberty and Justice for all.”
Oh the perils of betterment…
February 22, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Oh the perils of betterment…
In an embarrassing attempt to open myself up to some coworkers, I confessed that when I was young I thought if you squeezed one boob the other boob would get bigger.
Now I go by the very clever nickname, “Boob.”
Now I go by the very clever nickname, “Boob.”
February 21, 2025 at 5:07 AM
In an embarrassing attempt to open myself up to some coworkers, I confessed that when I was young I thought if you squeezed one boob the other boob would get bigger.
Now I go by the very clever nickname, “Boob.”
Now I go by the very clever nickname, “Boob.”