six months… it’ll be over before i realize it, but six months…

god i love him. if i could only have one thing for the rest of my life, let it be him, because then at least i could always make it to tomorrow.

it's a little scary because it hasn't been that long, realistically speaking, but god, the way he makes me feel... like what weirdo offers and follows through with helping you clean a big house and with cats who defecate and urinate uncontrollably!! ON A SECOND DATE? SIR??

i'm always the first thing he thinks of, the thing he looks forward to, a consideration in his choices (he gets peppermint coffee in case i want to take a sip?? he likes normal coffee more???????) and he takes. so much. pride. and. satisfaction. in seeing me not being able to understand it all!! ):<

i feel so selfish all the time because i can't pay him back in the same ways, but i trust him to tell me (and he promised!) when it gets too heavy to carry me... i want to waver so much all the time but he makes it so easy to not worry... 🥺

he's literally the "i know you can do it yourself, but i'm still gonna do it for you" lover and spoils me because he loves seeing me smile and enjoy life for once? he takes care of me, eases my burdens, listens, is attentive, provides... like ? how are you real ?

my boyfriend is gone for six months now, what will i do… what will i do with myself!!!

three of five done

i really would not have wanted the trade off to be at the health of my loved ones, but it seems to happen every time; a piece of me recovers, another one gets lost, another one gets scarred forever

i don't even want to die, i want a break from all this bullshit life keeps tossing my way

the asterisk… he wants me to drown him by sitting on him…