like today i wondered how much respect that woman was shown for the fruits of her labor, or were all the thanks directed towards the male faces, i hate it so fucking much and its not existing that upsets me just existing in this specific organization of social decency

like it really shouldn’t be this hard but this is the universal feeling for afab ppl like the scrutiny is never ending i can’t exist in femme peacefully either cause theres so mch to live by but it is easier when ppl show you respect just cause they thnk you’re attractive enough

soon enough it will be a memory, and this feeling will fade, only to be remembered when the cycle repeats and someone else had filled your place. the place of where i hold my hopes and dreams, the places of when i feel like giving my power over to someone with beauty. i love you like nothing

but youre so pretty and i hope you know, i think you know, im sure you do, and maybe use it to your advantage, maybe i wish i was more like you. thank you thank you thank you, beautiful nothing, beautiful being. all i want and all iwish i was, or maybe youre just a placeholder, ill fill your space

maybe its my karma, maybe i havent opened my own heart enough, i keep loving people too, who have no idea how to hold me, as i look to them desperately. maybe thats the energy, that’s all it is, and maybe i love the sickness of it all, maybe its better than feeling nothing at all

and my imagination is simply filling in the pieces of what i imagine a fulfilling romance could be. while i reject true and honest declarations and demonstrations of love. im sold on fantasy baby, you fit the part oh so perfectly, just out of reach and sitting so beautifully

any consideration beyond that is simply delusion. fantasy. and my inclination to appreciation of beauty. i hope you know it. but you wont because ill never tell and you wont give me the chance to say, which i think is good on your part. i could never hold you but never tell you of my inability

and showing me all the ways ive come out of myself? i miss the passion i had and you showed me what ive been missing by being doing saying nothing but yourself and ill love you always for that. but its nothing more and i know that. im lonely and tired and sad. that’s all it is .

this but its literally everyday, like. i get it. its a wound its a mirror. what i dont get is why youre so pretty to me. whatever. im bored goodbye

its only human its only human i thank you for what youre showing me i love and release you thank you thank you thank you thank you for being nothing but yourself

so fkin dumb and unserious you are literally just experimenting and feeling unhealed wounds but u are so pretty to me i dont care