social life so bad, I'm averaging 1.5 movies a day.. which... is not normal for me

moms bf said Stargate (1994) has a lot of truth to it

my mom just said I would be a groomers dream.. what does she mean by this?

I was adding stuff to my smoothing and tasting it as I was blending it, thinking I'm master mind chef making the perfect smoothie, but it all cancelled eachother out and it just tastes like paste

im like a Dog when it comes to that Peanut Butter Game (i really like peanut butter)

gf just said I give her "new york jew vibes" (she's jewish)

my mom's getting so old, she's doing a lot of "well how do we know? 🤨"
girl google it

franking my weenie before work

why is my friend showing her baby the 2016 xxl freshman cypher

looking inside my belly button..
whats going ON in there...