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@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

hi pals! I know I told some people that the next RWYLM chapters would be coming this weekend but I fucked up my shoulder and it's slowed me down some (i'm fine i promise!)

you all are lovely and i know there's no pressure, but i promised updates when i could so here's a snip to tide you over 💜

By the time Ed was all dressed and ready to go, the tree service people were apparently only just arriving, so he and Stede had some time to kill before they could hit the road. They decided to have breakfast down in the farm’s restaurant, which would’ve all been fine and good and—dare Ed say it—chill, except then Stede went and proposed that they swap shirts. Stede’s had long sleeves, you see, to cover up Ed’s tattoos while they were out and about in public, so that was really only logical. He had a point, and Ed couldn’t come up with a better solution, so the next thing he knew he was back in the bathroom, pulling on Stede’s slightly-too-large button-down, which still somehow smelled like Stede in spite of being doused in rainwater yesterday.
He left it unbuttoned down to his sternum, because what the hell—he was still Ed Teach.
As they ate, though, Ed began to fear that perhaps he’d miscalculated. He caught Stede staring down his gaping neckline a few times, but he couldn’t even be properly smug about that because fucking christ he definitely hadn’t realized just how tight his old Butthole Surfers t-shirt would be on Stede. Those arms oughta come with a warning label. Did Stede work out now? Ed had a whole ass personal trainer and sometimes he even actually went to the sessions instead of just cancelling them last minute, and he didn’t have fucking arms like that. Was owning a bookshop really that sweat-intensive, building Stede muscles like that?
Ed tried to focus on his food—just as fucking delicious as last night: ricotta pancakes with lemon and chamomile syrup and white chocolate pastry cream and a scattering of flower petals overtop—and he somehow managed to not ask his sorta-ex-husband if he thought he could bench press Ed, which (in Ed’s view) was a show of remarkable restraint.

“So I told her, Carol—that’s not Battus philenor, that’s obviously Limenitis arthemis, as any child would know.” Across the table, Stede was rambling on about the latest drama in the Amateur Lepidopterist’s of New England group while he picked at his omelet. “I just assumed she would want to know about the mix-up, but she’s the one who started making ad hominem attacks!”
Ed made a vague hum of agreement and stuffed more pancake in his mouth, letting the sound of Stede bitching about Carol’s choice of font in her listserv emails wash right over him. It was relaxing, in a way. Like there was some corner of his soul that had never left. Like they did this every morning over breakfast.
The thought gave Ed a small pang of grief, but he ignored it. They were going to be friends. And when they were friends, that meant that Ed could grab brunch with Stede when he came home for visits, listen to him pop off about shit like this any time he wanted.
“Honestly, I’d take Comic Sans over this nonsense! Curlz, in 2025? I’d say it’s deranged, but frankly I think that’s insulting to insane people—I’ve known plenty of nutters with exquisite taste.”
That jolted a laugh out of Ed, and he nearly choked on a bite of pancake. Across the table, Stede beamed at him.
Friends.

November 23, 2025 at 10:11 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

it's crazy that a man could be this handsome and yet so immediately forgettable at the same time

rwylm Ed's boyfriend/fiance, Gabe, as played by Matt Bomer

November 19, 2025 at 5:44 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Happy WIPWednesday! Being "just friends" is going great and definitely not making Ed have impure thoughts about sugar daddy-ing his own husband 😌

THEY’RE EVEN TEXTING LIKE FRIENDS AGAIN—SILLY MEMES AND IDLE THOUGHTS AND VIDEOS OF THIS ONE PITBULL ON TIKTOK WHO’S OWNER LIKES TO GIVE HIM SPA DAYS. [MORE EXAMPLES OF THEM TEXTING] SO THAT THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER IN ORDER TO DO A BIT, MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH. [MORE EXAMPLES]
ED’S GLAD HE DIDN’T HAVE A CELLPHONE IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE NEVER WOULD’VE GOTTEN ANYTHING DONE. WELL. ED WAS REALLY MORE THE SLACK OFF AND GET AN A ANYWAY TYPE. BUT STEDE NEEDED TO STUDY FOR THINGS, HE WOULDA FLUNKED OUT FOR SURE IF THEY’D BEEN ABLE TO BUG EACH OTHER NONSTOP LIKE THIS
[MORE TEXT EXCHANGES GO HERE—SOMETHING TRANSPARENTLY UNROMANTIC]
SHIT LIKE THIS SHOULDN’T BE MAKING ED SMILE, TWIRL HIS HAIR AROUND HIS FINGER. BUT THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT GOOFING OFF WITH STEDE THAT FEELS BETTER, FEELS EASIER THAN ANYONE ELSE. FORGET TWENTY-TWO—ED FEELS SIXTEEN AGAIN. PASSING NOTES IN CLASS AND MAKING STEDE LAUGH SO HARD AT THE LUNCH TABLE HE SNORTED SODA UP HIS NOSE AND SOMEHOW IT ONLY MADE STEDE MORE ATTRACTIVE
ED’S SMILING AT HIS PHONE, TEXTING STEDE ABOUT THE PARTY. STEDE’S SENT HIM A PICTURE OF SOMETHING ONE OF THE VENDORS GOT WRONG? AND THEY’RE CRACKING JOKES TOGETHER
ED STAYED HOME TO GO TO THE MOVIES OR SOMETHING WITH ANNE WHILE STEDE WENT TO PICK UP SOME OF THE RENTALS.
HE’S TEXTING ED TO LET HIM KNOW IT ALL WENT FINE BUT UGH LOOK WHAT THEY TRIED TO GIVE US FOR THE LINENS/VOTIVE HOLDERS/WHATEVER, AS IF WE WOULD AGREE TO (SOME HYPER SPECIFIC DETAIL THAT ED BARELY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS) (ALSO ED REALLY LIKES THIS WE BUSINESS)
STILL, ED HAS ART DIRECTED ENOUGH OF HIS OWN ALBUM COVERS AND PHOTO SHOOTS TO RESPECT THAT YOU GOTTA HONOR THE VISION
ED: YEAH BRO THAT’S FUCKED UP

HE THINKS, CHEWING HIS LIP
ED: DO WE NEED TO RENT THEM? LET’S JUST BUY WHATEVER WE NEED. I’M SURE YOU CAN FIND ANOTHER USE FOR ALL OF IT LATER, NUMBER OF PARTIES THIS TOWN HAS
STEDE: I SUPPOSE. ARE YOU SURE?
ED: YEAH, COURSE. YOU HAVE MY CARD, GO TO TOWN. THIS WAY YOU CAN GET (SOME OTHER THING STEDE HAD WANTED BUT THE RENTAL COMPANY DIDN’T HAVE)
STEDE, JOKING: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU SWOOP IN AND PLAY MY BILLIONAIRE BENEFACTOR. VERY DASHING OF YOU
AND THAT SHOULD NOT BE MAKING ED THIS HORNY
BUT THE IDEA OF GETTING TO TAKE CARE OF STEDE LIKE THAT, FINALLY? GETTING TO INDULGE HIS EVERY WHIM? ED PICTURES STEDE IN LA, SHOPPING AT THE GROVE OR WANDERING ABBOTT KINNEY. ED IN HIS BASEBALL HAT AND SUNGLASSES BUT THE PAPARAZZI HAVE FOUND THEM ANYWAY, SNAPPING PICTURES OF ED TRAILING AROUND, CARRYING SOME OF STEDE’S BAGS. TUCKING HIS HAND INTO THE BACK POCKET OF STEDE’S TIGHT LITTLE JEANS WHILE HE BROWSES. STEDE KISSING HIM AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER AS ED’S CARD GETS SWIPED…
ANNE: WHO’S GOT YOU SO SMILEY?
ED IS CAUGHT OUT. CAN’T ADMIT IT’S STEDE. AND HE HATES LYING TO HIS MOM.
UHHH JUST GABE, CHECKING IN ON ME
ANNE RAISES A BROW. OH REALLY? LET’S SEE.
SHE LEANS OVER HIS SHOULDER.
ED SHRIEKS AND COVERS THE SCREEN. WE’RE SEXTING!!
ANNE GIVES HIM A LOOK. OK FINE. KEEP YOUR SECRETS. BUT AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE LYING TO YOUR MOTHER ABOUT A BOY?

November 19, 2025 at 4:44 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

WAIT I cannot believe I forgot to mention—if you, too, love floatie Ed you can have him in your very own home as a sticker and/or magnet!! The holographic one is very cute, he’s currently the cover model on my notebook 🥰

www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/Pu...

Lime green composition notebook covered in an assortment of stickers, including holographic floatie Ed — available for purchase at @sailorsruin92’s redbubble shop

November 19, 2025 at 12:40 AM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Feeling a little guilty* about all the mental devastation lately so in case anyone needs a RWYLM palate cleanse, for #TakeTwoTuesday I present Off the Deep End -- my very silly, low angst RBB collab with @sailorsruin92.bsky.social

*not THAT guilty tho😌

archiveofourown.org/works/671108...

art by @sailorsruin92 to accompany my fic, Off the Deep End. A comic in 5 panels:
1. Edi sitting in a poolside lounge chair, his legs crossed. He has on blue swim trunks, sunglasses, and pink and slides. He's just spotted Stede (in the foreground) who is taking off a yellow swim cover to reveal a mint green speedo and freckled/sun burnt shoulders
2. Stede tucks his hair into a bright red swim cap. Ed leans into the corner of the frame, watching Stede and looking love struck
3. Stede dons a pair of mint green goggles (to match his suit)
4. Stede dives into the pool
5. Ed watches Stede diving in the other frame -- Ed's glasses are tilted down his nose and he has hearts in his eyes, a hand held to his chest. He is in love.

More art by @sailorsruin92: Ed in black swim trunks and his pink slides, wearing sparkly purple swim floaties on his arms in front of a pastel purple background dotted with sparkle stars and hearts

November 18, 2025 at 8:50 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

lol my notes section for this fic is like 8,000 words long 😅

a screenshot from scrivener showing a project folder titled "exes" with several nested documents within, including:

- tags + AN
- Notes
- multi-media ideas (with nested documents titled playlists, tour review - the art of..., tour planning - the rabbit..., and gender & blackbeard thin...)
- song lyrics
- discography
- accolades
- titles
- backstory
- crew
- timeline
- random scene ideas
- scraps that don't have a home

November 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Next chapter of the divorce boys is off with beta readers, so it should be coming your way very soon!

In the meantime, here's a bit of zero draft from the chapter after that for WIPWednesday... Ed is making a super convincing show of being "friends"

ED FEELS A LITTLE BETTER AFTER HIS SHOWER, A BIT MORE GROUNDED. THE TREE SERVICE FOLKS ARE APPARENTLY HARD AT WORK GETTING THE DRIVEWAY CLEARED, SO THEY CAN’T LEAVE JUST YET. THEY HAVE BREAKFAST AT THE RESTAURANT, WHICH WOULD ALL BE FINE AND GOOD EXEPT STEDE PROPOSES THAT THEY SWAP SHIRTS—STEDE’S BEING LONG-SLEEVED, TO COVER ED’S TATTOOS IF THEY’RE GOING TO SIT IN PUBLIC. ED THROWS STEDE’S SLIGHTLY TOO BIG BUTTON DOWN ON OVER HIS JEANS, LEAVES IT UNBUTTONED DOWN TO HIS STERNUM, BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL—HE’S STILL ED TEACH.
WHILE THEY EAT, HE CATCHES STEDE STARING AT THE GAPING NECKLINE A FEW TIMES. WHICH AGAIN, WOULD BE FINE, EXCEPT ED HADN’T TOTALLY REALIZED WHAT HE WAS GETTIGN HIMSELF INTO—OR JUST HOW TIGHT HIS OLD [BAND] T-SHIRT WOULD BE ON STEDE, FUCKING CHRIST. THOSE ARMS OUGHTA COME WITH A WARNING LABEL. DOES STEDE WORK OUT NOW?? ED HAS A PERSONAL TRAINER THAT HE OCCASIONALLY DOESN’T CANCEL SESSIONS WITH AND HE DOESN’T HAVE ARMS LIKE THAT. SURELY IT CAN’T ALL BE FROM HAULING BOOKS AROUND??
HE EATS HIS RICOTTA PANCAKES WITH LEMON AND CHAMOMILE SYRUP AND WHITE CHOCOLATE PASTRY CREAM AND SCATTERING OF EDIBLE FLOWERS OVERTOP AND HE DOES NOT ASK HIS SORTA-EX HUSBAND IF HE THINKS HE CAN BENCH PRESS ED, WHICH (IN ED’S VIEW) IS A SHOW OF REMARKABLE RESTRAINT
STEDE CHATTERS AWAY ABOUT INSECTS, AND ED RELAXES INTO IT—LIKE THERE’S SOME CORNER OF HIS SOUL THAT NEVER LEFT, LIKE THEY DO THIS EVERY MORNING OVER BREAKFAST.
IT’S A LITTLE DISORIENTING, BUT ED DID TELL HIM HE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS.
HE FOCUSES IN ON WHAT STEDE’S SAYING RE: INSECTS. FRIENDS. THEY COULD DO THAT.
THEY DRIVE HOME, AND THE ENERGY IN THE CAR IS A LITTLE ODD, BUT NOT ENTIRELY BAD. WHATEVER HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, WITH THEM WATCHING TV, IT TURNED A CORNER—ED THINKS. YEAH, THERE ARE STILL AWKWARD SILENCES. STILL TENSE MOMENTS. AS EASY AS IT IS, SOMETIMES, FOR THEM TO SLIP RIGHT BACK INTO OLD HABITS, LAUGHING AND JOKING AROUND, THE TRUTH IS THEY HAVEN’T SEEN EACH OTHER FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS. SOME THINGS ARE

DIFFERENT. THE RHYTHMS DON’T ALWAYS LINE UP. ED WILL GO TO FINISH STEDE’S SENTENCE AND HE’S JUST SLIGHTLY OFF, GUESSING THE NEXT WORD.
PLUS, THERE IS STILL SOMETHING SIMMERING UNDER THE SURFACE—THE TENSION OF LAST NIGHT, OF THE WAY THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER THIS MORNING. EVERY TIME ED THINKS ABOUT THE FEEL OF STEDE’S HARD DICK, PRESSED UP AGAINST THE CURVE OF HIS ASS, HE FEELS HIS FACE GO WARM. EVERY TIME HE REMEMBERS THE FEEL OF STEDE’S BREATH ON HIS NECK, THE WAY HE’D NUZZLED INTO THE CROOK OF HIS SHOULDER JUST SLIGHTLY BEFORE HE WAS FULLY AWAKE, HE GETS ONE OF THOSE FREEFALL SWOOPS DOWN LOW IN HIS BELLY.
BUT THAT’S TO BE EXPECTED, RIGHT? IF THEY MAKE AN HONEST GO OF IT AS FRIENDS, IT WOULD BE UNREASONABLE TO THINK ALL THAT ATTRACTION, THAT DESIRE, IT WOULD JUST VANISH IN AN INSTANT. ED HAS FUCKED, LIKE…A LOT OF PEOPLE. AND EVEN SO, STEDE IS STILL HANDS DOWN THE SINGLE PERSON HE’S HAD THE MOST SEX WITH. ACTUALLY. ED’S PRETTY SURE IF YOU TOTALLED UP EACH INDIVIDUAL TIME HE’S HAD SEX, STEDE’S STILL GOTTA ACCOUNT FOR LIKE. WHAT. 25% OF ALL SEX HE’S EVER HAD IN HIS LIFE? AT MINIMUM? THEY WERE REALLY GOING AT IT FOR A WHILE THERE, LIKE 23 YEAR OLD BUNNIES ON MOLLY.
HE GETS A LITTLE DISTRACTED, TRYING TO ACTUALLY DO THE MATH IN HIS HEAD FOR A MINUTE. THEY WERE MARRIED FOR 4 YEARS BEFORE ED LEFT, HAVING SEX FOR ALL BUT A FEW MONTHS OF THAT TIME. THEY HAD TO HAVE BEEN AVERAGING ONCE A DAY FOR MOST OF THAT TIME, IF ED REALLY WANTED TO BUST OUT A CALCULATOR HE’D MAYBE ROUND IT DOWN TO .8 JUST TO BE CONSERVATIVE, BUT LET’S KEEP IT AS ONCE A DAY, JUST FOR SIMPLER MATHS. AUGUST 2005 - AUGUST 2007 THAT’S 1,095, AND THEN HE’D HAVE TO DO SOME ACTUAL MATH TO GET AUGUST 12TH 2007 TO JUNE 15TH 2008, THE DAY HE LEFT, 30 DAYS HATH SEPTEMBER….
PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS? STEDE ASKS
ED STARTLES. BLUSHES. UH. SORRY. GOT A LITTLE DISTRACTED. LOTS OF THOUGHTS
STEDE SMILES AT HIM AND CARRIES ON TALKING ABOUT (BOOK)

November 12, 2025 at 4:32 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

i'm in a very bad mood re: us politics so here, have a divorce boys snip from the next media chapter. we all deserve it

Title: the devil couldn’t find me so he sent the boy next door
Rating: E
Date: 04/22/2015
No Archive Warnings Apply
Tags: First Muse (Blackbeard)/ Blackbeard (Musician) | Edward Teach, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers to Exes to Lovers, Childhood Friends, Angst with a Happy Ending, Original Male Character, Top Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Mutual Pining, Pining While Fucking, Hate Sex, except they don’t hate each other at all, shhh its a secret, Hurt/Comfort, Dom/sub, Crying during sex, light humiliation, Orgasm Control, Public Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Blowjobs, Foot Washing, like a weird amount of it considering I’m not a foot guy, feet stuff but it advances the plot I swear, Body Worship, Shibari, Mutual Masturbation, Property Destruction, they do unspeakable things to Blackbeard’s dressing room, Phone Sex, Top Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Bottom Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Top First Muse (Blackbeard), Bottom First Muse (Blackbeard), These bitches be switches, I don’t even really believe in first muse theory tbh, but it’s fun to play in this sandbox,

“Edward,” a voice says behind him.
It’s been a very long time since anyone called him that
**
It’s been five years since Blackbeard ran away from home to make it in LA. Now, his past catches up to him.
Or, I heard Boy Next Door by Blackbeard and I’ve been unwell every day of my life since so now I’m making it everyone’s problem
Language: English Words: 325,833 Chapters: 47/47
Comments: 833 Kudos: 3,861 Bookmarks: 212
Hits: 101,542

November 10, 2025 at 7:11 AM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

WIPWednesday for the next chapter of Right Where You Left Me

Yes--as many of you have already guessed--there's only one bed 😈💜

THE CARD READER BEEPS, AND LETS THEM INTO THE ROOM
STEDE HOLDS THE DOOR OPEN FOR ED. AFTER YOU.
ED GIVES HIM A LOOK, BUT SHUFFLES PAST. HE’S STILL SHIVERING, CLUTCHING HIS ARMS
STEDE WALKS INTO THE ROOM BEHIND HIM. THE ROOM IS GORGEOUS. [DESCRIPTION]
ALSO: THERE IS ONLY ONE BED.
ED IS STANDING VERY STILL. STARING AT THE BED. HE HASN’T SAID A WORD, BUT HIS JAW IS WORKING—CLENCHING AND UNCLENCHING
STEDE SEARCHES FOR SOMETHING TO SAY, TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD: WOW. YOU KNOW, I’VE READ ABOUT THIS HAPPENING IN NOVELS, BUT I DIDN’T THINK THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE.
ED, GRUMBLING UNDER HIS BREATH: YEAH, LUCKY YOU. PROBABLY FITS RIGHT IN WITH ALL YOUR BIG PLANS.
STEDE SHOOTS HIM A HURT LOOK, AND ED IMMEDIATELY LOOKS GUILTY
SORRY, HE MUTTERS. JUST YOU KNOW. WET. AND COLD.
TAKE THE FIRST SHOWER, STEDE TELLS HIM. I’LL SEE IF I CAN RUSTLE UP SOME ROBES OR SOMETHING FOR US TO CHANGE INTO
ED STARES AT HIM A MOMENT LONGER. EYES HUGE, WARY. KAY, HE SAYS EVENTUALLY. THANKS.
HE DISAPPEARS INTO THE BATHROOM.
STEDE LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AGAIN. IT REALLY IS LOVELY. [MORE DESCRIPTION]
IT WOULD BE VERY ROMANTIC, IF THEY WERE HERE UNDER ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES.
STEDE IS STILL STEWING ON THEIR ARGUMENT EARLIER. HE’S SUCH A FOOL. HE WANTS ED BACK, BUT ALL HE’S SUCCEEDED IN DOING SO FAR IS DRIVING HIM FURTHER AWAY
HE CAN’T GO DOWN THAT ROAD RIGHT NOW. HE BUSIES HIMSELF SEARCHING IN THE CLOSETS. FINDS TWO THICK, PLUSH ROBES IN THERE, PLUS A GIFT BASKET WITH A BUNCH OF GOODIES INSIDE, INCLUDING—CRITICALLY—TWO PAIRS OF CASHMERE SOCKS AND A COUPLE BARS

OF FANCY CHOCOLATE
HE SETS THE ROBES AND SOCKS AND CHOCOLATE OUT ON THE BED, FOR WHEN ED GETS OUT
HE’S DRIPPING ON THE FLOOR. IN THE OTHER ROOM, THE WATER IS STILL RUNNING
STEDE LOOKS DOWN AT HIS WET CLOTHES WITH DISTASTE. PEELS OFF HIS SHIRT, AT LEAST. TOES OFF HIS SHOES AND SOCKS. HE’S JUST IN HIS TROUSERS, NOW. HE LAYS HIS SOPPING WET SHIRT AND SOCKS ON THE DESK. THEY IMMEDIATELY FORM A PUDDLE
IN THE BATHROOM, THE WATER TURNS OFF
A MOMENT LATER, THE BATHROOM DOOR OPENS, AND ED EMERGES IN A CLOUD OF STEAM. HE’S GOT ONE TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND HIS WAIST, AND ANOTHER SWEPT AROUND HIS HAIR, TURBAN-STYLE
HE STOPS IN HIS TRACKS WHEN HE SEES STEDE STANDING THERE, SHIRTLESS.
ED: UHHHHHH
STEDE, ALSO STARING AT ED’S BARE CHEST: UHHHHHHHHHH
ED: UM.
STEDE: YES.
SILENCE. BOTH OF THEM STILL STARING AT EACH OTHER.
STEDE: FEEL BETTER?
ED: YEAH, UH. MUCH BETTER…YOU FIND ANYTHING FOR US TO WEAR?
STEDE: OH! YES! ROBE’S HERE.
HE GESTURES TOWARDS THE BED. PICKS UP THE OTHER ONE AND BUNDLES IT UNDER HIS ARM
STEDE: AND I’LL JUST. TAKE THIS ONE IN THERE WITH ME. HE NODS TOWARDS THE BATHROOM, BEHIND ED
ED: RIGHT. YEAH. YOU SHOULD UH. GET WARM
NEITHER OF THEM MOVE. ED IS STARING AT STEDE’S NIPPLES. STEDE IS STARING AT ED’S NIPPLES.

November 5, 2025 at 4:32 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Trying to eke out final edits on these next RWYLM chapters, still hoping to get more divorce lads to you before the end of the weekend 🤞

Those felt like decidedly un-chill thoughts, though.
For now, he focused on the fondness. The warmth. He gave stede’s elbow a companionable shove where it rested on the table, and he took another swig of his wine, and het let himself join in Stede’s laughter.
A low, rumbling boom cut them off.
“That thunder?” Ed craned his neck, peering up at the sky.
“Hm?” Stede said. “Oh, yes. Weather said there might be scattered storms in the evening. Shouldn’t last long, though. Hopefully we’ll be on our way home, by then.”
Ed took another bite of his grilled prawns, stifling another groan. “Fuck, mate,” he said as he swallowed. “Can’t remember the last time I heard proper thunder. Even when it rains in LA, it’s not like that.”
Stede took a sip of his wine, humming thoughtfully. “I think that would make me very sad,” he said. “I love a summer storm, here. How they can sweep up on you out of nowhere. The relief of warm rain, cutting through the humidity, washing the whole world clean. And then its gone and the sun is shining through the wet leaves again before you can even take cover.” There was something about the way he said it, his voice low and hypnotic, eyes dark in the candlelight. Made Ed shiver.
A snatch of new song lyrics drifted through Ed’s head, his fingers twitching instinctively for a pen.
I hear thunderstorms
Whenever you’re around
Ed blinked hard. Fucking hell. Hadn’t written a word in weeks, and now that part of his brain decided to get to work again?

November 2, 2025 at 6:59 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

I promised I'd post divorce boys updates here, so in case anyone's keeping an eye out: I'm feeling pretty good about posting the next chapters this weekend, but might be like Saturday-ish instead of Friday-ish?

Here's an early WIPWednesday to tide you over. Quite the predicament they're in 😈 😇

Inside, the AC was blasting. Ed shivered and crossed his arms over his chest. There was a 20-something looking kid with periwinkle blue hair standing behind the main desk, clicking around on their computer. They glanced up when Ed and Stede walked in, and their eyes ping-ponged real quick from Ed’s tattoos to his bun to his normie clothes. They frowned, like they couldn’t quite place how they knew him, and Ed resisted the urge to duck his head and hide. Would only bring more attention.
In a move that appeared almost instinctive, Stede took a half step in front of him as they stepped up to the desk—shielding Ed slightly with is body.
“Hello!” he offered the kid a cheerful smile, water still dripping off the end of his nose. “We seem to have gotten a bit caught out in the weather. Wondering if there’s somewhere we could dry off for a bit?”
“Sure thing!” the kid said, already typing away at their computer. “Let me see what we’ve got for rooms right now.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary!” Stede waved them off with an airy hand—splashing water across the countertop and a stack of brochures in the process. “We’re not staying long. Is there a staff bathroom or some such we could use, perhaps with a towel or two if you can spare them? Just need to get dry enough to hit the road.”
The kid’s face fell. “Oh, shit. Sorry, did no one tell you?” They glanced back and forth between Ed and Stede, taking in their blank expressions. “The storm took out a tree at the end of the driveway,” they explained. “No one can get out until it gets cleared, and the tree service guys probably won’t get to us until the morning. They’re getting a lot of calls right now.”
Shit.
Ed glanced at Stede, who looked a bit stricken himself.

“Okay then,” Stede began, hesitant. “I suppose we’ll take you up on that then?” He said it like a question, though, and he was looking at Ed. Like all Ed had to do was shake his head, and Stede would march down the driveway and chop the tree up himself, with his bare hands.
“S’fine,” Ed told him under his breath. To the kid at the desk, he said—a bit louder, “Two rooms then, cheers.”
But the kid grimaced again, and Ed’s heart sank. He closed his eyes and let out a long exhale, already knowing what they were about to say.
But the kid grimaced again, and Ed’s heart sank. He closed his eyes and let out a long exhale, already knowing what they were about to say.
“I’m so sorry, but we only have the one room left available tonight. Everything else is booked.”
Fucking of course.

October 29, 2025 at 6:32 AM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

For WIPWednesday -- some more bits of the divorce guys that I wrote on my phone during my roadtrip

Having your ex's new phone number is dangerous, especially late at night 😏🔥

Ed texts late at night with some excuse (wants to show Stede something innocuous, but really he’s just bored)

Stede texts back and they banter for a minute (I think they didn’t see each other earlier that day, Stede was busy?)

Ed eventually is like shit sorry man, didn’t realize how late it was. Sorry to disturb

Stede: it’s all right. You know I’m a night owl

Ed: yeah I guess.

Ed hesitates, but can’t help himself. He adds: could have a hot date or something though

Lots of bouncing dots

Stede: trust me, I don’t

Now Ed doesn’t know how to respond.
Ed: just figured a fun, single guy like you would have plenty of people to call on a Friday night

What is wrong with Ed??

Stede: are we really doing this?
Ed plays dumb: doing what?
Stede: you can just ask me about my dating history if you want to know, Ed. I certainly know more than I’d like about yours

Ed flushes. Thinks about some of his more salacious tabloid scandals, Stede seeing them splashed across glossy magazine covers in line to check out at the grocery store

Ed: ouch, but fair
So…you’ve dated?
Stede: barely
Every couple of years I feel guilty about it, like I’m supposed to be getting back out there, and I’ll go back on the apps. But never anything serious.
Ed hesitates before asking, but he can’t not: but you’ve had sex with other people
Lots of bouncing dots
Stede: here and there
More dots
I’ll get on Grindr periodically, to scratch the itch. I used to make more of a go of it. Don’t think I’ve had a hook up since…shit, I think since before covid.
Ed knows this is dangerous territory but can’t stop: long time to go without
Stede: yes

Ed bites his lip, considers. The conversation is theoretically pretty neutral. Why does he feel so hot and flushed. Stede hasn’t even said anything especially sexy
Ed: so why’d you stop then? With the hookups
Lots of dots
Eventually, Stede: how honest do you want me to be?
Ed doesn’t think before typing: you can always be honest with me
Stede’s typing bubble appears again. Bounces for a while. Disappears. Re-appears
Dots dots dots
Stede: I never stopped thinking about you while I fucked them
Ed sucks in a sharp breath, immediately so turned on he could scream

October 22, 2025 at 4:09 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

hiiiii to anyone waiting on the next chapter of Right Where You Left Me -- i'm finally home from my trip and i promise the chapter is ALMOST done, but it's probably going to be another day or two. more divorce boys soon!!

here's a little snip to hold you over...plus ed's style inspo

Stede was partway through explaining the plot line of the Will Darling series, and trying to encourage Mr. Flores to branch out into more recent history, when he was interrupted by the sound of the bells jingling again.
Faintly, from the front of the store, he heard Lucius say, “Oh. My. God.”
Fuck.
Mr. Flores had started back in on why even Georgian romance was inferior to Regency, though.
“Sorry, Mike!” Stede cut him off. “Very urgent book business, back in a jiff.”
He scurried back towards the front of the store, only to pull up short—breathless.
There was Ed. More beautiful than ever. Luminous, even. In faded blue jeans—perfectly molded to his thighs—and a white tank top, he looked like he’d stepped off the set of a 90s romcom. His hair was swept back of his face in his usual half bun, the rest of it left to curl softly around his shoulders, but the way the soft morning light filtered through the shop windows had him backlit, looking almost angelic as the frizzy baby hairs that framed his face glinted like gossamer in the sun.
“Ed.” Stede’s throat felt strangely choked, like he was close to tears.
Ed ducked his head, shy. “Uh. Yeah. Hey.”
Stede could only stare at him though, lost for words. Unable to do anything but drink in the sight of him—somehow soothing and electrifying, all at once.
Also, see above, re: white tank top. Jesus fucking christ, those arms.
Ed shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Sooo…reporting for party planning?”

a 90s pepsi ad featuring cindy crawford, wearing a white tank top tucked into highwaisted lightwash jeans, holding a can of pepsi

October 17, 2025 at 4:38 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Technically it’s not WIPWednesday here for another hour but I am once again bored & trapped in the car so I’m writing divorce boys on my phone

Ed gave Stede his new number. Everyone’s being on their best behavior about it (cw: light sexting)

Ed: do you ever wonder if it was really that good?
Stede: hello, Ed
If what was that good?
Ed: us. The physical part, I mean. I know the other stuff was real, I’m not saying anything about that
Stede: oh. No, I do not wonder that
Ed: I dunno man. We were 22. Could’ve just been the magic of perpetual boners.
Stede: that wasn’t it
Ok, that wasn’t ALL of it
Ed: but how do you know?
Stede: no one has ever made me feel the way you did
And I’ve never made anyone feel as good as I did you, I know that much
Ed’s speechless
Stede: and I hope you don’t mind me saying this…
Ed holds his breath
Stede: but if I could have you again tomorrow, I know with utter certainty that I could have you crying into the pillow case, begging me to come within the hour

Jesus Christ
Ed should stop. He should tell Stede to stop.
Ed: awfully confident, aren’t you?
Stede: you’re a five minute walk from me. Come over and we’ll see
Ed lets out a shuddering breath. This is bad bad bad
Why can’t he stop?
He stares at his phone, unsure what to say
Stede is typing again
Stede: I still know your body. I remember every inch of it. I know the way your feet flex when you’re about to come and the spot behind your ear that makes you go breathless when I kiss it and the fact that your left nipple is more sensitive than the right and that you don’t like to ask for it but you’ll go all dreamy and floaty if I lie down on top of you with my full body weight after you come.
Dots
Ed is having a nervous breakdown. But, like, a horny one.

Stede: I never forgot any of it
Stede: I also know your left hand is resting low on your stomach, and as you read this it’s just starting to flirt with the waistband of your underwear right now
Fuck. Ed’s hand froze, the tips of his fingers just starting to creep beneath the elastic. He hadn’t even realized he was doing it
Ed needs to regain control of the situation
Ed: ok, stalker
Stede: fuck
Stede: come over, please
Stede: do you want me to beg? Because I’m not too proud

October 15, 2025 at 6:09 AM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Somehow I am STILL stuck in the car so everyone who voted for horny WIP Wednesday is getting lucky ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Ed has some inconvenient dreams (cw for a la croix’s whisper of somnophilia)

The person behind him was breathing hard. "Fuck," they hissed under their breath. "How could I resist you,
when you're like this?" They rolled into him, deeper and deeper. "You're so hot inside, sweetheart. Feel so good." They
punctuated this with one firm thrust.
Ed's body lolled limp against the mattress. It felt impossibly good, his whole body shivering with it. But he was
too sleepy and gone to do much else but take it. The person struck up a steady rhythm now, unrelenting. Kissing Ed all
over the back of his neck, his shoulders. Murmuring praise.
"So good. So good for me. Can't get enough of you." Teeth bit down slow and firm into the curve of Ed's
shoulder. "You drive me mad, Ed. I love you so much."
Ed woke up all at once.
Painfully hard.
Painfully alert.
Painfully aware of just who it was he was dreaming about.
It wasn't a memory, not exactly. More like...he'd lived a dozen moments, just like that dream. After the dam
broke, after they finally got it together, Stede became insatiable. Well, they both had. But Stede especially. They were
young, dumb, full of come, and in love for the first time. Food tasted better, colors were brighter, and Ed could get it up
three to five times in a couple hour span without breaking a sweat. God help them when their days off aligned—they'd
been known to spend thirty-six hours straight in bed, until their stomachs were growling and the whole house reeked of sex and the rats' nest of Ed's hair had to be combed out with coconut oil. They actually had to replace their bedsheets at
one point, after Ed dug his heels into the mattress so hard while Stede was eating him out, he ripped a hole straight
through them.
And Ed couldn't count the number of times he'd woken up like that, already being fucked— his body warm and
loose and pliant, instinctively opening himself up to Stede, even in his sleep. He'd never trusted anyone like that since.

Ed had thought it would cool down, eventually— the honeymoon era. But it never did. They were always hot for
each other, always grabbing and groping and wrestling on the couch. Right up until the day Ed left.
So good. So good for me. Can't get enough of you.
This time, it wasn't some disembodied voice whispering in Ed's ear, but Stede crowded in close along his back.
The blazing heat of his limbs octopus-ed around Ed every which way—pinning him in place, just the way he knew Ed
liked. Gripping Ed by the thigh to lift his hips up, because he already knew that was the best way to hit that perfect angle that made Ed whimper and cry out. Dragging his lips back and forth across the back of Ed's neck, the way he always used to do, because Ed was ticklish there, and the way it made him shiver and twitch felt good on Stede's dick,
buried deep inside him.
Without his permission, Ed's hand began to creep down the length of his body, reaching for his own prick.
He was already a little wet at the head. Ed gave himself a loose stroke, and he was so hungry for it, his toes
curled-his back arched away from the mattress. His whole body was dewed with sweat.
Out in the hallway, the creak of his mother's footsteps. Ed dropped his dick like he'd been burned, like he was
thirteen and hiding porn under his mattress again.
Fuck. What was he doing? In just a few hours, he was going to see Stede again—he'd be sitting across from
him, within touching distance. Felt like a bad idea, maybe. Starting the day jerking off while fantasizing about the guy.
Tempting fate, or something.
His dick stared up at him, accusatory.
"Calm down," he muttered to it, because obviously he was losing it so yeah— why not talk back to his own
erection?
More footsteps in the hall, followed by Mum's singsong voice. "Eddie? You awake in there? It's getting late!"
Ed closed his eyes and took a long breath through his nose. "Be out in a minute," he called back.

He peeked his eyes open. His dick was still glaring at him, still hard enough to break concrete.
You drive me mad, Ed. I love you so much.
It was going to be a long fucking day.

October 9, 2025 at 1:44 AM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Ok for now the 🫠s have it but if I get bored I might post a cheeky ❤️‍🔥 later…

For WIP Wednesday, Stede opens up to Lucius about his past

"Did you love him?" Lucius asked.
Stede tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling.
He was twenty-one, and signing his name next to Ed's on the marriage license. "You don't have to to do this. "
But Ed had only smiled. "I know."
He was twenty-two, and sitting next to Ed at the end of a dock-staring into those enormous buckwheat honey
eyes, the flame of the birthday candle dancing in the black of his pupils. Stede took a deep breath, and made a wish for
courage.
He was twenty-three, and Ed was in his lap, letting out the tiniest hiccuping sighs as he rocked slowly on Stede's
cock. Their mouths were pressed against each other-just sharing air, too boneless and fucked out to even kiss properly.
Stede's dick hurt pretty much all the time these days, that was how much sex they were having, but he couldn't bear to
stop.
He was twenty-four, and he had a cold, and he was miserable, and he'd snapped at Ed at least half a dozen times that day because being sick always made him feel scared and sad, like a trapped animal, but instead of giving up on him Ed had made him soup and when Stede burst into tears at the sight he'd climbed right into the bed and held him while he cried and cried.
He was twenty-five, and dozing on Anne's couch on Christmas Eve. His head was on Ed's shoulder, and he was drooling on his shirt, and he was too sleepy to even pick a fight about whether or not Die Hard was a Christmas movie.
He was twenty-six, and hooking his chin over Ed's shoulder to get a peek at the lyrics he was writing in his
notebook.
"You cannot write that about me!" He shrieked, and his attempts to wrestle the pen out of Ed's hand led to an
hour of play wrestling and kissing on their living room floor.
He was twenty-six, and waking up to find Ed's side of the bed cold, and a Dear John letter waiting for him on the kitchen table in place of his husband.

"I didn't realize it, at first," Stede managed to say. "But yes. I loved him. I think I always had. Just took me a while to get there, but we did figure it out eventually."
In spite of himself, he smiled. "And then we were very happy, for a little while."

October 8, 2025 at 10:22 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

Two new chapters of the divorce boys are now live! Ed is killing time in town, feeling super normal about the fact that his (ex-ish) husband is always just a few blocks away...also, a look at red carpets past 👀

archiveofourown.org/works/702434...

cover art by @clairegregoryau.bsky.social 🥀❤️‍🔥

an image in the vein of a romance novel cover, with coral roses in the foreground, and a blurry garden fading into the background. The text reads:
Right Where You Left Me
An OFMD second chance romance
serpent_and_dahlia

art by @clairegregoryau.bsky.social

October 4, 2025 at 8:10 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

WIPWednesday -- some more flashbacks from the next chapter of Right Where You Left Me 🥰 💔

He used to come down here, sometimes, when he had something heavy to think about, or if he and Stede were having a fight and he needed a breather. It was a win-win, in those situations. Gave him a bit of time to cool down, and Stede always knew where to come find him, once they were ready to be soft with each other again.
And there were other times they’d come down here together. Happier memories.
Against his will, Ed was reminded of Stede’s 22nd birthday.
Stede Bonnet was born July 29th, so by the time his birthday had rolled around they’d been married nearly five months. With every passing day, Ed felt like he was losing more of his mind. It was hot, and humid, and the upstairs window was too small for an AC unit so they were both sleeping in their underwear—or, in Ed’s case, mostly not sleeping at all. He’d lay there, staring up at the ceiling late into the night, with Stede crowding in close beside him—his body a furnace, all those miles and miles of bare skin, and snoring like he’d never had a care in the world.
It was in these moments that Ed’s mother’s words would come back to him, from that fight they’d had—back in May:
Do you not want love? Romance?
Well how’s that going to work? You’re going to date other people and then go home to your husband?
They’d gone out to Jackie’z for Stede’s birthday, an old haunt. It had been fun, at first. And then Ed had gone to get them another round, and some guy had leaned up against the bar beside him and started talking him up, and Ed had been juuust tipsy enough to entertain it for a minute—especially once he looked back towards their table and saw Stede watching the whole exchange, eyes stormy and heated.
Only, at some point it tipped over from the fun sort of jealous, to Stede blotchy faced and near tears—shouting at him in the parking lot.
Well excuse me for not wanting to spend my birthday watching some man in a trucker hat hit on my husband!

Your “husband”? What the hell does that even mean? That I just never get to fall in love? I never get fucked again? Because you’re certainly not doing it!
The second the words were out of his mouth, Ed had known it was a mistake—but it was too late. Stede was staring at him with dark, fathomless eyes, looking for all the world like Ed had just reached inside his chest and ripped his heart out.

October 1, 2025 at 4:58 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

more divorce boys coming soon... 😈

(if i ever finish final reads of this long ass chapter - god damn)

screenshot of the ao3 edit work interface for Right Where You Left Me, with new tabs for Chapter 9 (draft) and Chapter 10 (draft)

September 26, 2025 at 10:32 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

from a later chapter of the divorce fic

(actually kind of surprised at few slowly's i had... i assumed i was overusing it left and right)

STEDE: AND SORRY AGAIN FOR THE OTHER DAY.
HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY HE’S SAYING THIS STUFF. WHY HE CAN’T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. HE ALREADY APOLOGIZED, ED ALREADY ACCEPTED. WHY IS HE STILL PRESSING ON THE BRUISE?
BUT ED FROWNS, LIKE HE’S NOT FOLLOWING
ALL THE…FLIRTATION, STEDE ELABORATES
NO, ED SAYS ABRUPTLY. IT’S ALL RIGHT
IT WASN’T, STEDE INSISTS—WHY CAN’T HE JUST LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE?? I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
YOU DIDN’T, ED SAYS TOO QUICKLY. OR. UM YOU KNOW. DIDN’T TOTALLY MIND IT.
HE’S MUMBLING IN THAT DESPERATELY CASUAL WAY
YOU DIDN’T? STEDE ASKS, SLOWLY COTTONING ON.
ED SHRUGS. NAH, S’FINE. FLIRT AWAY MAN, I DON’T CARE. FRIENDS CAN FLIRT, PROBABLY. NO BIG DEAL.

September 26, 2025 at 9:45 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

bit of zero draft from a future chapter of the divorce guys

THEY’RE ALONE FOR SOME REASON RELATED TO THE PARTY— IT’S LATE AT NIGHT, THEY’RE WORKING TOGETHER TO MAKE SOMETHING OR SET SOMETHING UP
THEY’RE REMINISCING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST—SOMETHING INNOCUOUS, A FOND MEMORY
AND STEDE’S LIKE, WELL I REMEMBER THE NIGHT AFTER [THING] PRETTY WELL
AND ED’S IMMEDIATELY OVERHEATING, REMEMBERING WHAT THEY DID THAT NIGHT
STEDE COMES CLOSER AND CLOSER, SPEAKING IN A LOW MURMUR. TEASING. BE HONEST. HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT NIGHT WHEN YOU BRING YOURSELF OFF, ALL THESE YEARS LATER?
AT FIRST ED IS ALL GRUFF, TRIES TO DENY IT
AND STEDE IS FULL OF MISCHIEF. HMMM, IF YOU SAY SO. FOR ME, PERSONALLY, I REVISIT IT QUITE OFTEN
ED DOESN’T RESPOND AT FIRST. HE’S NOT GOING TO RISE TO THE BAIT. HE’S NOT.
BUT STEDE WAITS HIM OUT
EVENTUALLY, ED GOES: THANKS, MATE. DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR JERK OFF HABITS. ED IS HALF HARD ALREADY, THOUGH. DESPERATELY WANTS TO HEAR MORE.
STEDE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT’S GOING ON HERE. HE KEEPS TALKING. REMINISCING ABOUT THAT NIGHT—ALL THE DETAILS.
ED IS GETTING MORE AND MORE TURNED ON, AND ALL THE WHILE STEDE IS GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER. IT’S A SMALL SPACE. THEY’RE NOT TOUCHING, NOT QUITE YET, BUT HE’S CLOSE ENOUGH STEDE CAN FEEL HIS BODY HEAT.

September 26, 2025 at 6:03 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

from a future chapter of the divorce boys!

You couldn’t waterboard it out of him, but the truth was—Ed was looking forward to Saturday. He had to assume that Stede would at least come by for his weekly brunch date. It wasn’t like Ed wanted to see him, or anything. But it would…take the edge off, a bit. So he could stop anticipating him around every corner. That sort of thing.
But Saturday came and went, and Stede didn’t show.
“No brunch this weekend?” Ed had asked that afternoon, aiming for casual.
His mother peered at him over the top of her book, the slant of her eyebrows making it clear that she knew exactly what he was really asking.
She wasn’t above being absolutely infuriating about it, though. “No, guess not.”
Ed stared at her. She returned to her book and said nothing more.
And Ed wasn’t going to be the one to cave and ask directly, was he?
So, he spent the rest of the day feeling restless and weird. His mother was living her best retiree life—most of her days were spent reading, or crafting, or doing a puzzle, or going on short strolls into town. Ed just wasn’t made for sitting idle like that.
After dinner, they settled in on the living room couch to watch a movie. Ed’s leg couldn’t stop bouncing.
“How about a walk?” She asked, her tone carefully innocent.
“I’m fine,” Ed grunted back, forcing his leg to still.
But fifteen minutes later, Mum cleared her throat pointedly, and Ed realized he was doing it again.
“Yeah, okay. Fine.”

September 26, 2025 at 4:54 PM

Dahlia 🏴‍☠️🍊🌈

@serpentanddahlia.bsky.social

you get both!!

the first is from an alternate s2 jealousy thing (they're reunited but ed is still very angry)

the second is a different canon-divergent s2, playing with the scrapped makeover/lupete wedding storyline from 2x06