🫣 thank you Ella

Does that make you 'cakefluid'? Cos that's icing right?

I want to thank everyone I’ve worked with since I’ve been with the channel, you’re all very talented and we’ve told some great stories together. All my best wishes to the team, I’m sure you will go from strength to strength.

Due to significant personal issues I’ve not featured on the channel for a while, or even as a guest on other channels. It's taken months for me to make this decision but I can only make worthy contributions to this project from a place of stability, and I’ve been getting worse, not better.

The victim withdraws more and more, allowing the narc justification for their behaviour "well you never told me, how am I supposed to know?" And also control the narrative to the wider audience, by being free to construct their ideal image unchallenged.

A narcissist is vocal and builds an audience around them that isolates a victim. To the victim, everyone appears to be awed by the narc and to admit their own bad feelings or contradict the narc seems foolhardy or dangerous.

They are not, and they control this through phrasing such as: 'i would like to do this, but I'm happy if you want to do that'. To choose the latter immediately makes that person unreasonable. No one wants to suggest doing the opposite of what the narc has just established they would like to do.

To acknowledge this sets a precedent for admitting there is a healthy exchange between the parties and this is not a trade the narc is interested in acknowledging. They need people beholden to them, but they will use language that suggests they are open to alternatives.

This assertion is relentless and it's designed to cut off two main things. Firstly the victims problems are insignificant compared to the narcs. Secondly the narc is so 'giving' they are owed everything. It's common for them to not acknowledge anything the victim does.

What is often overlooked is how victims are maligned, not by what is said about them, but by what is omitted and by the careful construction the narcissist builds about their own struggles and the constant reiteration of their great qualities, and what they do for you.

Labour would never have been elected with their massive majority if they had run on the policies they are now wheeling out and there needs to be some sort of mechanism in a democracy to deal with a government that just lies to get elected. It can't just be 'ah well, have another go in 5 years'.

I experience gaslighting at home, in my former workplace, from the media and even the government. William may have been struggling with the difficulties of his modern world, but the industrial fires of Ironbridge Gorge are reflected in today's fascist landscape and it's still 'hell on earth'.

11/11

Understanding mental health and suicide in Williams time was not really a thing and whilst we think things are much better these days, narcissistic abuse is rife and victim blaming is a common occurrence.

10/11

All I would really need in order to improve my mental health is a less hostile environment. A way to access trans healthcare. Not being policed when I need to use a public toilet... I have received no help, but I've also asked for no help because I'm scared of the potential reaction.

9/11

Leaving my abuse trauma to one side, my low mental health is not because I'm a trans woman, it's because as a trans woman I have no place in society. If I were to tell a health worker I felt suicidal that would become the sole focus - medication, check ins, again even being sectioned.

8/11

Victims are almost always seen as the ones with the problem and are often further victimised by having their jobs taken away, their children removed from them, or even being sectioned. An abuser may be identified, but even under new guidelines rarely gets mandates therapy.

7/11

I don't believe William's suicide was due to alcohol alone, the alcohol certainly wouldn't have helped and was likely the cause of 'loosening him up' and causing him to drop the mask that he would usually have worn. He started exhibiting that 'madness' of a victim.

6/11

William (the subject of the article) was most certainly suffering some kind of trauma, hard to say if it was from domestic abuse or something else, but he was showing the hallmarks of victim behaviour. I've mentioned before how victims become withdrawn and/or erratic.

5/11