You look behind the stove while she eases over by the dishes. You look by the refrigerator, pushes it back. You look her in her face and looks like she’s about to have a heart attack. Then you notice the cherry pie on the counter ONE SLICE IS MISSING. YOURE WIFE IS ALLERGIC TO CHERRIES.

You ask her what’s wrong she says maybe it’s that time of the month. You look at her with the craziest look “😒maybe…maybe it’s that time of the month?😒”
You look at her with your hand in Ike turner position and say “WITH ALL MY MIGHT, ILL BE DAMNED IF YOUR DOING WRONG”

You walk in the kitchen and hear a noise but your wife says that it was just the cabinet door. While you’re eating you see her slowly walking around nervous, red(she’s income tax check time white) and sweating.

You look at your wife and say “why you a jittery” she responds with “I didn’t expect you so soon that’s all”. You look at her up and down and say “😒🤨mmhhmm🤨😒” She asked if you hungry…. She made some pears… you look at her with the straightest face and say “I’m go eat this chicken”

You’re a cop so you can’t risk going down for this so you flee the scene. You can go home hungry so you stop by Popeyes to grab something to eat. You walk into your home and your wife says “you’re home early”. You’re a cop so you’re a trained professional in knowing when som BS afoot.

So now yall rollin on the floor tussling. Next thing you know you hear the gun go off everybody hops up and see a pool of blood on the floor. In the midst of all that everybody forgot that her brother was getting out of jail that day. Yo girlfriend drop on the ground and says “you killed my brother”

He realizes that you’re the same cop that gave him a speeding ticket for answering his wife’s phone. After words are exchanged and you brag about smashin up girlfriend (his wife) the husband gets tired of the talkin and decides he wants to tussle. So you pull out yo gun and points it at him.

You let the husband go and start to drive home but you just couldn’t shake that thought so you hit the meanest U-Turn And pulls back up at the house. You come back in the room on 10 because you thought they were arguing over the cigarette smell and condom wrapper you left behind.

You leave the house in a haste because now you know yo girl husband coming back. You light a cigarette and proceed to leave the house. To give yo girl a chance to clean up you pull over THE HUSBAND and proceeds to write him a ticket for SPEEDING because YOOOOUUUU and HIS WIFE’s phone.

You FINALLY get dropped off at yo sister crib. All your belongings in a Hefty trash bag. You cross the threshold of your sisters home. YOU MADE IT SAFE AND SOUND. You walk into her bedroom then next thing you know…..

You’re welcome

This the shit that makes me too scared to have kids…. I will absolutely die about it. Niggas have no chill

There’s no way niggas are this wild

After the “small dose” of crack

💀💀

I deadass never seen him act like that over a woman Before. Honestly I told him to leave yo ass but he tried to fight me for even mentioning that shit. I think you should Go talk to him.

2 hours left honey… 2 hours

It’s ok. I’ll see you in 2 hours

It wasn’t pipers fault… my sisters would’ve had to run the fade