im gonna start giving people dumbass nicknames just so I can walk by mid convo and be like "eyyyyy it's da chokester" unprompted

never going to Lowe's again bruh it took them 45 fucking minutes to find a ladder. in the ladder store.

"we should bring back 1337 5P34K" I tell myself, knowing damn well that if we did it would get overused to the point of being unfunny

why are there so many scenarios where theres 4 characters, and 3 of their names are similar/rhyme? like who the fuck decided that the 4th pacman ghost should be called fucking clyde

i'm nice at uno

i don't think i've felt as much vitriolic rage before or since the last day of my 5th grade class, in which i loaned my prized Nintendo 3DS™ to some random guy who preceeded to lose to the ai in front of me on toad circuit. my perfect record up to that point was ruined.

continuing my streak of not making a twitter account by creating an account on not-twitter-we-swear.com