No bjs, no hjs, no sex, nothing at home or out and about. Nada.

Can’t tell you how many times in these eleven months I’ve wanted to reach out to him again.

Maybe one day I’ll get to see him again.

Sigh…

Just going to have to try not to see his status.

Though if he’s happy than there’s not a whole lot for me to say. I want to look at his accounts so badly to see how he’s doing, but I know that if I do then I’ll just make myself more miserable as I’ll just end up reminding myself why I love him so much. Unless he reaches out to me first then I’m

God I’m fucking hopeless

Though idk if I’d be able to since one of my top options is the place he’s from. Fucking hell.
I’ve got my friend group and Boston, so I would rather move there, but that’s where he’s from. So who knows if I’d be able to actually move on.

Maybe next year, if/when I move, I’ll be able to get over him.

God do I fucking miss him, and how I wish I could just hold him and tell him how much I love him.

After rereading some of those last pages, fucking hell I feel like I’m looking at a reflection of myself.
Fucking hell

Fuck. Like Kip. Just wanting to be around Mason. Jfc

God what the fuck man. Talk about a fucking heartbroken loser. You’d think after almost a year I’d be over him.
But no, I’m still set on him and still wish I were at the bare minimum around him.

Awkwardness and panic of Mason. Instead I just ended up pushing him away. In my attempts to not make him uncomfortable or pressure him, I ended up pushing myself away.

I’m too fucking oblivious to really be able to tell if he flirted with me or not, but I at least felt like there was more. I felt like he was into me too.
I guess I won’t know if he was or wasn’t. I just know that Kip confessing to Mason feels a lot like me confessing to him, just without the

It just makes me think about /him/. I wish I could say it wasn’t so, but I still feel my heart aching for him. Eleven months later, not having spoken to him since I confessed my love for him, and I still can’t get over him.

Kip confessing to Mason and feel like everything is falling apart, that everything was fake, because of the truth? Yeah I feel that way too fucking much.