Every morning I wake up and make coffee and hope for this trifecta: Wordle 3 or fewer, perfect Connections, Mini under 30.

Putting a bet on the Eagles tonight just in case

David Foster Wallace you’re owed an apology

Okay I see you CJ

Mood

The Yukon Cornelius fit goes crazy. It’s timeless. He’s the best-dressed character in cinematic history

Watching the end of the Bears-Lions game while digesting 4000 calories of saturated fats

A lot to be thankful for this year

The Nightmare Before Christmas ass storm

Once again, open the schools

REOPEN THE SCHOOLS

It brings me no joy to say this, but it might be about time for our Lord Farquad ass mayor to get on the phone with Josh Heird and grease the wheels of KP’s ouster before the man single-handedly kills what’s left of downtown businesses

*narrator voice*

“We’ll never know what was going through the mind of Mark Stoops in this moment, but we’ll always have this image of him: celebrating a victory over his rival while the future hangs in the balance, his face redder than the Devil’s dick.”