“I need to have my ass rated based on charcuterie boards! Am i a single cheese or 2 cheese? What about meats?”

I understand, you woke up with a dog humping your face. Here’s a shot of Malort. #HowMalortHappens

“It’s like glitter bombs for MAGA!”

“What was I saying again, after Richard Geers butthole. “

When all of the sudden you get a new phone and it logs you into a forgotten account! Woohoo let’s do this!

“I’m on my third marriage, but she’s my best wife ever” #VivaLasVegas

I may have 517 items in my “Saved for later” cart but I have zero unread emails.

If RFK Jr really wants to Make America Great Again he can just bring back quaaludes.

And on that day her taste buds blossomed and she now had a young woman’s tongue.

Why can’t we go back to the good ole days without internet when we all knew Marilyn Manson removed ribs to give himself blow jobs, or that Richard Gere had a hamster up his butt?

“Can you imagine telling comparisons to somebody?” #northversussouth #landversussea