so is saliva the sweat from your gums or is sweat the saliva from your skin

Kris Kringle, the CEO of UnitedElfcare was shot and killed earlier this morning.

At the scene police found three bullet casings with the words "ho, ho, ho" written on them as well as a short manifesto criticizing America's "naughty list system".

elves working in a workshop? now imagine children working in a sweatshop. not so jolly now, is it?

but that means jabba...

my man 😎🤝

drake the type of guy to point out that you are standing under the mistletoe

yeah sorry i can't make it tonight, i found a really smooth rock and i need to play with it

killing 2 birds with 2 stones. i wonder if i could do better

yup.. your favourite pornstar has Pronouns now.

what if brain worms are like a kennedy thing and lee harvey oswald was just a dewormer

president - convicted felon
attorney general - pedophile
head of hhs - brain damaged
candles - $3600
government efficiency - elon musk

someone who is good at the politics please help me staff my cabinet. my country is dying

1 million....the official jeremy renner app might be in trouble..

maybe the brainworm will make him good at his job, ratatouille style

Hi everyone.

The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.

We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.

We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.

I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.

to truly flourish bluesky needs a site-wide, elon-level villain.
I am willing to take on this Burden.

idk how to explain this but using this app kinda feels like going to the dentist

john wick jo0hn dick