@seajohnson.bsky.social
Oh yeah, I’m a freak in the sheets. Google Sheets, that is.
October 19, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Oh yeah, I’m a freak in the sheets. Google Sheets, that is.
I’m the type of Karen that will call the city on some white boys playing their country music too loud.
September 3, 2025 at 6:31 AM
I’m the type of Karen that will call the city on some white boys playing their country music too loud.
If I work part time does that mean I can only enjoy Labor Day half as much?
September 1, 2025 at 5:30 AM
If I work part time does that mean I can only enjoy Labor Day half as much?
Back when I was nice people would say I looked like Drew Barrymore. Now that I’m a bitch people say Elisabeth Moss. Same face, different demeanor.
August 31, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Back when I was nice people would say I looked like Drew Barrymore. Now that I’m a bitch people say Elisabeth Moss. Same face, different demeanor.
Ever noticed there’s a PTSD to pet sitter pipeline?
August 31, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Ever noticed there’s a PTSD to pet sitter pipeline?
“Sorry you fascists hate sidewalks!” - a thought
August 31, 2025 at 6:15 PM
“Sorry you fascists hate sidewalks!” - a thought
“Maximalism” is just a nice way of saying you’re a pack rat.
August 30, 2025 at 9:04 PM
“Maximalism” is just a nice way of saying you’re a pack rat.
Awww your baby is so cute! Where did you get it?
August 21, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Awww your baby is so cute! Where did you get it?
Part of my algorithm is just possums eating things
May 26, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Part of my algorithm is just possums eating things
One thing about me… when I go to Target I’m always gonna get my free ice water at the Starbucks after
May 26, 2025 at 12:36 AM
One thing about me… when I go to Target I’m always gonna get my free ice water at the Starbucks after
Do you think egrets are white to trick the fish into thinking they’re clouds?
May 15, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Do you think egrets are white to trick the fish into thinking they’re clouds?
If corporations are people then pets should count as people when I file my taxes. Fair’s fair.
May 1, 2025 at 9:47 PM
If corporations are people then pets should count as people when I file my taxes. Fair’s fair.
Why do 60 something widowers and divorcees that play golf and definitely vote for Trump always wanna try and pick me up at the bar? I have a buzzcut. Like I just don’t get it
March 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Why do 60 something widowers and divorcees that play golf and definitely vote for Trump always wanna try and pick me up at the bar? I have a buzzcut. Like I just don’t get it
I’m sick of these pregnancy test commercials where all the ladies are looking at their strip and smiling. I wanna see some real shit. I wanna see someone sitting on the toilet and crying. I wanna see a woman on the phone telling the father and him denying it. Give me drama!!! Give me something real!
March 20, 2025 at 2:56 AM
I’m sick of these pregnancy test commercials where all the ladies are looking at their strip and smiling. I wanna see some real shit. I wanna see someone sitting on the toilet and crying. I wanna see a woman on the phone telling the father and him denying it. Give me drama!!! Give me something real!
Maybe it became so common for mothers to raise their daughters to have no sense of self worth so they could be married off more easily. If you believe you’re worthless, you’ll jump at the first person to show even mild interest.
March 19, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Maybe it became so common for mothers to raise their daughters to have no sense of self worth so they could be married off more easily. If you believe you’re worthless, you’ll jump at the first person to show even mild interest.
I demand a mashup of Stay by Rihanna and Someone Like You by Adele
March 8, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I demand a mashup of Stay by Rihanna and Someone Like You by Adele
Ok u know how to yt people have a reputation for keeping dirty homes? I’ve seen it a lot and I wonder if it has to do with originally coming from a colder climate where bacteria and germs don’t spread as fast so it just didn’t become a major tradition, ya kno?
February 19, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Ok u know how to yt people have a reputation for keeping dirty homes? I’ve seen it a lot and I wonder if it has to do with originally coming from a colder climate where bacteria and germs don’t spread as fast so it just didn’t become a major tradition, ya kno?
I wonder how Tina Fey feels about Mean Girls being referenced in a recent Chappell Roan AND Doechii song - and if she uses it as leverage for cool points with her kids
February 19, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I wonder how Tina Fey feels about Mean Girls being referenced in a recent Chappell Roan AND Doechii song - and if she uses it as leverage for cool points with her kids
I think Freddie Mercury would have really enjoyed Pink Pony Club
February 18, 2025 at 4:43 PM
I think Freddie Mercury would have really enjoyed Pink Pony Club
Applying to jobs with male bosses as an SA survivor is fucking scary dude
February 9, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Applying to jobs with male bosses as an SA survivor is fucking scary dude
I request a sex and the city where they all have shittier jobs.
Carrie, sex writer / DoorDash
Samantha, waitress / actress
Charlotte, barista / artist, sculptor
Miranda, immigration lawyer @ nonprofit (aka broke)
Carrie, sex writer / DoorDash
Samantha, waitress / actress
Charlotte, barista / artist, sculptor
Miranda, immigration lawyer @ nonprofit (aka broke)
February 7, 2025 at 6:41 AM
I request a sex and the city where they all have shittier jobs.
Carrie, sex writer / DoorDash
Samantha, waitress / actress
Charlotte, barista / artist, sculptor
Miranda, immigration lawyer @ nonprofit (aka broke)
Carrie, sex writer / DoorDash
Samantha, waitress / actress
Charlotte, barista / artist, sculptor
Miranda, immigration lawyer @ nonprofit (aka broke)
I will never date a skinny boy again. Their hugs are mid.
February 5, 2025 at 9:33 AM
I will never date a skinny boy again. Their hugs are mid.
I always wear a push-up bra to the first date. I want to put my best breast forward.
January 31, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I always wear a push-up bra to the first date. I want to put my best breast forward.
I just saw a fratty natty order a ginger elderberry kombucha and I’m so proud of him
January 30, 2025 at 9:35 PM
I just saw a fratty natty order a ginger elderberry kombucha and I’m so proud of him
The only reason men wanted women to have flat stomachs was to make sure we weren’t carrying another man’s seed and you can’t convince me otherwise.
January 30, 2025 at 9:20 PM
The only reason men wanted women to have flat stomachs was to make sure we weren’t carrying another man’s seed and you can’t convince me otherwise.