scums 👿 🍑
@scums.bsky.social
he/they/that scum. puns and existential despair.
the legend of sleepy hollow is so unrealistic, there's no way that horseman wasn't getting head
December 20, 2025 at 3:19 PM
the legend of sleepy hollow is so unrealistic, there's no way that horseman wasn't getting head
everybody's twerking for the weeknd
December 19, 2025 at 11:08 PM
everybody's twerking for the weeknd
l'appel du sous vide
December 16, 2025 at 11:56 PM
l'appel du sous vide
never go whalewatching with the lockpickinglawyer, guy will always say it was not a fluke
December 14, 2025 at 6:52 PM
never go whalewatching with the lockpickinglawyer, guy will always say it was not a fluke
therapists should be able to write u a prescription for a lil treat and insurance should have to cover it
December 10, 2025 at 11:15 PM
therapists should be able to write u a prescription for a lil treat and insurance should have to cover it
if someone pisses u off, then piss them on
December 10, 2025 at 12:21 AM
if someone pisses u off, then piss them on
weird al cover of a tom petty song about going commando, call that free ballin'
December 9, 2025 at 11:25 PM
weird al cover of a tom petty song about going commando, call that free ballin'
start a magazine for brewers and distillers, call booze clues
December 6, 2025 at 3:36 PM
start a magazine for brewers and distillers, call booze clues
why'd the captured pirate take a nap
they were under arr rest
they were under arr rest
December 6, 2025 at 12:37 PM
why'd the captured pirate take a nap
they were under arr rest
they were under arr rest
ur telling me this hammer is for balls and peans?
December 5, 2025 at 1:41 AM
ur telling me this hammer is for balls and peans?
the correct term for an alarm before its been armed is an al
December 4, 2025 at 11:41 PM
the correct term for an alarm before its been armed is an al
bon iver when conniver walks in D=
December 4, 2025 at 2:16 AM
bon iver when conniver walks in D=
legally changing my name to All so I can sell clothing that only fits me labeled "one size: fits All"
November 29, 2025 at 6:18 PM
legally changing my name to All so I can sell clothing that only fits me labeled "one size: fits All"
if alright gets to be a word alwrong should get to be a word
November 26, 2025 at 12:15 AM
if alright gets to be a word alwrong should get to be a word
see where there was one set of footprints in the snow? that's where mariah carried u
November 22, 2025 at 7:37 PM
see where there was one set of footprints in the snow? that's where mariah carried u
i'm old, cold, and full of mold
November 17, 2025 at 2:40 AM
i'm old, cold, and full of mold
guy who sees "post nasal drip" and uploads photos of paisley handkerchiefs
November 15, 2025 at 3:52 AM
guy who sees "post nasal drip" and uploads photos of paisley handkerchiefs
video games you can't die in should have mortal mode cheats
November 7, 2025 at 1:39 AM
video games you can't die in should have mortal mode cheats
writing class for inmates, call that prose and cons
November 7, 2025 at 1:39 AM
writing class for inmates, call that prose and cons
look upon my works, ye mighty and dis pair
October 30, 2025 at 1:35 PM
look upon my works, ye mighty and dis pair
i swear i'm neuro-convergent
October 24, 2025 at 10:01 PM
i swear i'm neuro-convergent
need to insult an academic? tell em they'll only get cited for speeding
October 24, 2025 at 2:04 AM
need to insult an academic? tell em they'll only get cited for speeding
guy walking thru ikea and seeing a 6' blahaj:
we're gonna need a bigger cart
we're gonna need a bigger cart
October 23, 2025 at 3:56 PM
guy walking thru ikea and seeing a 6' blahaj:
we're gonna need a bigger cart
we're gonna need a bigger cart
what is the point of you.
October 12, 2025 at 12:56 AM
what is the point of you.
if u don't think about it a coffin is an egg for zombies
October 11, 2025 at 11:33 PM
if u don't think about it a coffin is an egg for zombies